posted August 09, 2011 06:43 PM            

I thought i had a place but that fell through because the people there cant afford to move now even though they want to. there in their own personal hell themselves

also i have been on this site for adoptees to find our birth families i was contacted by someone claiming to have found them. its a good thing i did't get my hopes up they gave me the bizarre story about my family which i know is lies because i do have some facys about my adoption and there's were wrong. but i think there going to try to scam me for money. HAHA. i dont have any

My car is back in the shop. my tranny blew out in june i didn't have any transportation for most of the summer.

My husband struck up a freindship with this women online. he has been on and off with her for a few years now. they talk on the phone in the middle of the night. from midnight till about 3 am.

posted August 09, 2011 07:43 PM            

the women claims to be bipolor also and says she dosen't like to take meds because she dosen't like the side effects.I think she has a host of mental disorders because she always claims drug dealers are out to get her... the cops are out to get her and they killed her pets and her father.. crazy stories... i know all this because she has a blog show and that's where he met her.

he sets his alarm to get up in the middle of the night to talk to her.. he makes me nervous because i dont want him telling he where we live or any personal information which he has a bad habit of doing.

i feel like im getting it from al ends

posted August 09, 2011 10:12 PM            

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I once saw a sign that said "sin is death" but if "all deaths are suicide (linda goodman)" and suicide is sin, then shouldnt "death is sin" be more appropriate?

posted August 10, 2011 12:45 AM            

*hopes she doesn't get judged for this*

I hate to be saying this.. I want to be positive as I have bipolar soulmates, but some bipolars lie compulsively and they frequently cheat compulsively. Most books recommend you always use protection for std's. I don't know about the one I actually dated, but the one who drove my life into the ground I know has cheated on his girlfriends (word of mouth) and most likely was physically abusive to another.. saying later to her face that he'd never hit her with conviction even though he had. There's a 90% divorce rate for a reason. The second one, even with focusing on unconditional love etc which I think profoundly helps with the disorder still lied a bit and was superficial and fake and wouldn't tell me the truth or communicate over the simplest of matters while lauding communication as being the foundation for any relationship. I never commited to him, but the only reason I was with him was because the first bipolar's higher self finally got in contact with me and told me the other guy would help me, which he did.

I subleased an apartment to a bipolar with all my furniture when my kundalini got bad and I couldn't function to work, and she stopped paying rent and took all my furniture. She said her daughter stole her car, yet she had three different cell phones she said her daughter had given to her (most likely made up story.. and if they did steal her car it was likely because she was exceedingly dangerous driving it manic). I hate to say this but I would never commit to a bipolar. After the stuff the first bipolar soulmate put me through, I had just gotten out of an extremely emotionally/psychologically abusive relationship with an iraqi vet, and I met him and crazy soulmate energies starting reaking havoc on me as an atheist.. kundalini went crazy and events between us got weird, but then he started gaslighting me and pretending he didn't do anything. Eventually over the period of two years I started losing it and everyone started treating me like I was this horrid person.

Gaslighting is an on again off again theme in my life from family and the iraqi vet I mentioned so it wasn't hard before I just started believing the reality.. despite the fact that around some circles I was known to be one of the nicest/sweetest people (in his defense.. I tried very hard to push the bipolar away.. I never wanted to love someone like that.. it's terrifying lol). I had never been more hated in my lifetime, and he would oscillate between acting insanely in love with me and oh my gosh.. I can't believe it's her and she likes me to.. get -HER- away from me.. anything between. I've never met someone with the attention to detail he had. Then people started treating me like I was psychotic. No matter what.. I couldn't stop loving him, I didn't know he was bipolar, but kundalini was making me lose it enough that I couldn't focus to figure anything out. I kept begging him for answers but he would either get cold like he didn't know what I was talking about, somewhat excited but refusing to admit anything, to being a complete prick. A few times he'd get this distant look and say he wasn't there yet, but I was clueless as to what it meant. I gave up all my seniority at work and switched to another division so I wouldn't have to see him, but apparently a bunch of people at the old division were convinced I was stalking him despite the fact, and shortly thereafter I started shutting down and couldn't work full time (partly kundalini.. which helped support his lies). People on the street I didn't know started treating me like I was the psychotic scourge of the universe.. and even my best friend from work started questioning me when I said all the things he used to do. Some people knew he did things, but he was such a good liar all the time and would make me sound like crap in the most judgmental way (and charismatic way.. can't forget bipolars are -so- charismatic). I started believing I was this evil sadistic person to a degree because everyone was treating me horrible.. strangers on the street that I knew knew him etc. One time something happened at work and my supervisor who was on friendly terms with the bipolar was involved, and I needed to go home on an extra shift I was working, and something happened, and after how he reacted to me, I went home and cried for 2 1/2 hours. The bipolar guy at work the next day looked so sorry like he was the shittiest person in existance. He started apologizing profusely for next to nothing around that period.. I was severely depressed before I met him so I had a bunch of suicide attempts over a year and scars on my forearms to huge medical bills, cirrhosis of the liver, certainly many lost neurons from attempts, many hours spent crying waiting for trains to come by. At one point I was convinced I should kill myself because the world would be better with out me that I must be evil for people to treat me like that and that was the most compassionate thing i could do (I can't emphasize how toxic gaslighting and kundalini is).. I think that was shortly after I had finally found out he was bipolar but didn't know how bad the disorder was. I tried to get answers or stick to some form of communication and unknown to me he called the cops of me, they showed up as I was already leaving and said he had a history of calling the police on his ex-girlfirend, and by the stress of that period in the time and the volume of kundalini I was fairly gone. He gave me the worst insomnia for 2 years.. you know when you love someone so much you can't sleep because you can't believe they exist? Two years! Four months after I met him during winter break I couldn't sleep for 56 hours because of him. The feelings and energies were just too intense. I still wouldn't do anything about it though most of the first year.

It's been another two years since everything deteriorated and almost every single time I go downtown I get some horrible look. People will do this to me in front of my boyfriend or people who care about me, thinking they're doing a favor to warn the other person about me by giving me the most putrid vile looks. It's really really hard to deal with. Every time I try to dialogue with anyone, I'm paranoid about the rumors they'd hear, or whether I'm going to have to fight an uphill battle against their preconceived notions. If a guy likes me, there's this deep fear he'll ask about me to the wrong person, and he'll go from being really interstested to an extreme degree of awkward disgust. I'm almost 27 now and I've had chronic suicidal ideation since august of 2000. I really really wish my soul were never created. It was sad enough living as an atheist, but at least then I had an exit out of existance.

There are many more horror stories about that on the net about bipolar. Perhaps when I'm more mentally integrated I'll look for more answers. I don't have the courage to ask these people why they hate me or try to stand up for myself. They wouldn't believe me anyway about his lying. To the average joe on the street bipolar disorder is just where you get really happy and sad sometimes. Spiritually it would be really depressing given the bipolar soulmate scenario, but I just wanted to point out I had two visions of shamanic dismemberments, so it kind of ties in with that. He's a very close soulmate.

I'll pray things get better for you. Be careful with your husband. It doesn't matter how much he loves you. When he's gone, he's gone. Don't take it personally. Bipolars tend to break even the strongest of individuals. Of course there are varying degrees.

posted August 10, 2011 11:02 AM            

The eviction notices suck. I've been there. Most of the time I don't address my issues to others and just suffer. It's one of the few times I've brought it up trying to relate and maybe let you take your husbands actions less personally. It just seemed there was something in common and the experiences don't make as much sense out of the context.

In the states they can't ever force you into an eviction if you've signed a contract and you're paying rent. Even if you're not paying it, you can stay until the court order comes and the police forcibly evict you. That's how the bipolar woman got to stay in my apartment for several months, and I couldn't even move back into my apartment. Frequently they'll just pay or bribe people to move out of their homes.. I've heard people being offered over a thousand on several occasions. I think there may be a legal stipulation about that as well, offsetting for the costs of moving. A lot of times they'll just sell the houses with the tenants and contracts so it seems rather imprompt and irrational for your landlord. There's a place near me where people are getting 6 months free lot rent because it'll most likely turn into a big box department store in 4-5 years.

posted August 12, 2011 04:19 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by starzy54:
Im not sure if legal aid and public defender are the same things? I think public defenders can go to court with you and help you fight the case free of charge.You can most likely get some time or an agreement to be compensated for leaving,especially if you have a lease or rental agreement that is not expired yet.

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thank you starzy i'll have to look into that

posted August 12, 2011 04:25 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by childofzeus:
May good fortune come your way soon Dee

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childofzeus