posted December 23, 2011 11:35 AM            

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Passion,Lust, Desire Check out my journal

posted December 23, 2011 12:18 PM            

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Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:
I have a Scorpio Venus, too, but in the 12th house. I have found that I can accept certain faults--I cannot accept behavior that is physically abusive or manipulative, but I can accept little annoying things. I find that in those cases, I still like the person: I know their flaws, but like them anyway and feel like the good points outweigh them. So, I can like a person, be annoyed by some part of them, but overall find that their good points outweigh the bad and that they are a good person, albeit flawed. I was wondering if other people could do the same with me: see me as a person with issues and flaws, but still good and worth knowing. If I really like a person, I see the good in them, and that trumps the bad. I was just wondering if this was abnormal or if it's possible if others can see the wrong in me, but also see the right in me and still like me anyway. Like, if I have a bad habit, and I know that I do, can people overlook that and still like me, and give me time to evolve/work on it, or are they just going to discard me, get rid of me, push me away, give up on me?

Basically, I want to have more realistic expectations of people so as to help me deal with them in better ways.

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posted December 23, 2011 04:52 PM            

With me, people I meet usually like me. But I have things about me that I KNOW people find annoying. For example, people like what I have to say and the way I think, but the fact that I tend to repeat it (not sure why I do it, almost as if I have to prove it to myself LOL) gets on their nerves.

My boyfriend is borderline genius sometimes which I ADORE but it annoys me how he has to slowly come to a conclusion and how he tends to go back and forth cause he doesn't want to leave anything out (he is also a Libra Merc )

I think we all need to learn to love and respect all the negatives and the positives. Enjoy all the idiosyncrasies in all and just respect the fact that we can't like everything in everyone and not everyone is going to like everything about you. Don't ever change what other people dislike; because that is the biggest turn off for almost everyone (being what you are not)

posted December 23, 2011 04:55 PM            

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Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:
I guess it is important because I don't want people to be unable to change a negative opinion.

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You cannot control people's opinions. Forget about it. People will think what they want to think no matter how that affects you. Some eill use their opinions to manipulate you so if you keep on like this you are going to have a hard time being an emotionally healthy individual.

If you have issues with ppl in authority positions, I would recommend therapy with a skilled therapist. How were your parents like? Too lax or too strict with you growing up?

posted December 23, 2011 04:57 PM            

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Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:
HAHA...I am a Libra Mercury, but I shall do my best to be concise! A challenge!

Basically, what I wanted to know was if people can overlook flaws and still like you. Like, if you have an issue that you really struggle with a lot, can people still accept you while you are working on it?

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Glad you did not get insulted. I will think about it, over sushi, and get back.

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Passion,Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted December 23, 2011 05:29 PM            

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Can people dislike parts of you but still like the whole?

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EVERYRONE has their flaws (though some people's flaws blinds them to their own flaws and/or to the flaws of certain other people, and conversely other flaws can make people see flaws in themselves and others that aren't actually there). Realizing I have my flaws makes me forgiving of other people's flaws and I try (and usually succeed) in having a sense of humor about it (my own flaws and other people's flaws).

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And will people really notice and give you credit if they see that you are trying hard to work on yourself and your flaws?

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People who work hard to improve themselves are rare, IMO, so I'm personally going to give them credit for it. I can't speak for anyone else.

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why is it that people keep telling me not to try to figure out what others are thinking?

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Because most people aren't thinking, they're either reacting or acting out an automatic role. And High School Never Ends:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_OsjBYxrR0c

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I understand the very good and solid advice of not letting what other people think of you get to you or have too much power over you, but why is it bad to try to figure out what others think of you and how people perceive you? (Not saying that people who tell me this are wrong; just am trying to understand where they are coming from and what they mean by that since it isn't really clear)

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It can be useful, but for many people such hyper awareness can be bad for them because the fear of being excluded is tied to our survival instincts (from back when exclusion from the tribe meant death, not just loneliness) and so plenty will react badly if they're too aware of criticism (likewise, many people avoid giving open criticism--of course behind someone's back is another matter as that can help bond people if often in a nasty way--because people who are too openly critical also tend to be shunned by those who fear criticism, which is to say about everyone).

Though just to be clear, I think your desire to be liked isn't strictly tied to survival instincts but in also trying to connect with others to gain understanding from viewpoints that aren't your own. That is, people not only relieve you of loneliness and provide support (to a point anyway) but can shine a light into your blind spots which is something you value as it increases your understanding. Most people, however, don't find understanding useful, pleasurable, or even desirable (some even fear it as it can threaten their entire world view which can cause one to question the value of one's life, and even be terrifying in some cases).

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I cannot accept behavior that is physically abusive or manipulative

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posted December 23, 2011 05:31 PM            

hugs,
Anongrl10

posted December 23, 2011 07:37 PM            

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Passion,Lust, Desire. Check out my journal