posted February 12, 2012 09:04 AM            

I have a problem. I think I'm not capable of sharing stuff. like anything at all. I cannot imagine anyone stepping inside my bedroom door. i feel like uncomfortable feeling if another person enters my room. I don't like being physically close. I hate if someone (even if its a partner) tries to cling too much. I get upset if I have to stay in same mood for a long time. specially in a relationship, I chicken out very frequently e.g if the guy asks for a date, I'll say yes, but at the very last minute, or like in first few minutes, I wana flee. its like I get bored or uninterested no matter how much I'm attracted to him. My first relationship was with an Aries guy, he was like me so we understood the space requirements and all, but even he got tired of my "stay-away" policy. he wanted to meet more often which didn't interest me (although I loved him a lot), so he ended up being with someone who wanted to be together (a Pisces girl). next my romance was with a guy who lived 4000miles away. So it was comfy. When he started calling me everyday, I chickened out. Then I was asked out by about 5 guys and it resulted in same thing, no relationship, but boring, boring, boring. I find them attractive, I'm just not interested any more after few texts or calls I don't even know why. Its like a switch that turns off. I feel like I'm destined to be alone, because I want to be alone, a part of me does. When I'm not being asked out and all, I feel very down. I wish I had some one who would take care of me, love me, listen to me, and when I have him, I want to run away. This sometimes confuses the guy too and when he's confused he doesn't have no choice except believing that I'm nuts. Now this is getting serious, how will I live alone guys? I'm supposed to be with someone, I need to be with someone, a part of me does at least. what should I do?

and BTW, My North Node is in 7th house too. tell me about it *sigh*

------------------
Pity from an Aries is worse than their contempt \m/