posted June 06, 2012 09:41 AM            

(Winston Churchill loved them.) are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous.

1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.

3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left..

7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

8. They begin the evening news with 'Good Evening,' then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

10. Buses stop in bus stations. Trains stop in train stations. On my desk is a work station.

11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.

12. In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'

13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.

17. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

18. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

19. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.

20. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.

21. You're never too old to learn something stupid.

22. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

23. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

24. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

25. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. Amen

And mine is.........

posted June 06, 2012 04:33 PM            

7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

posted June 06, 2012 10:20 PM            

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted June 06, 2012 10:21 PM            

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted June 07, 2012 04:25 AM            

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quote:

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Remember, love can conquer the influences of the planets....It can even eliminate karma.

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posted June 07, 2012 04:40 AM            

quote:

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5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

18. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

20. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.

23. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

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posted June 07, 2012 09:25 AM            

5
8
9
14

posted June 07, 2012 10:13 AM            

If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress?

Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.

The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music.

Knowledge is realizing that the street is one-way, wisdom is looking both directions anyway...

Optimism: Waiting for a ship to come in when you haven't sent one out.

In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and is widely regarded as a bad move.

You know your god is man-made when he hates all the same people you do.

When people talk to God, it's called prayer. When God talks back, it's called schizophrenia.

What does "it" mean in the sentence "What time is it?"?

You can't be late until you show up.

If the grass is greener on the other side, you can bet the water bill is higher.

If you're not on somebody's **** list, you're not doing anything worthwhile.

posted June 07, 2012 01:26 PM            

LOVE both sets - jwhop's and T's.

posted June 07, 2012 06:23 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by T:
Linda,

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Love it, T!!! That's my Moon jiving (the dance) with your Sun

posted June 07, 2012 10:20 PM            

of course, jwhop. LOL oops

i thought you had thought it up as if you were
an old person....
you know,
putting yourself in their shoes.

w/ your sense of humor and all...
you could have!

I know you are a spring chicken.
as am i.

we always have the best senses of humor..

anyway. great thread. lol

posted June 10, 2012 10:54 PM            

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Yup I am THAT one.

My Blog on my life and passions ...

www.kriyaashakti.blogspot.in