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Author Topic:   do you guys do this with your friends? or how would you react?
hannaramaa
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posted January 14, 2013 10:27 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hannaramaa     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
My friend who is a Taurus with a Pisces moon and Venus and mercury in Gemini and Mars in Aquarius will tell me whenever her boyfriend said I loked cute or I looked nice or he thinks highly of me or something. If it was a one time thing then I wouldn't have thought much of it but she has told me.more than once. It makes me uncomfortable because I don't see the reason behind it. Also that was with her ex boyfriend. She's now talking to a new guy and she again said "I showed him your Facebook and he thinks you're really pretty." Okay.... I don't want her men and I never have! I don't know if she's testing me or what, I just find it a really odd habit and wondered what other girls here would think if their friend did that. I just say thanks and go on my way or with the conversation.

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SaturnineMoth
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posted January 14, 2013 10:54 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for SaturnineMoth     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
First thing that came to my mind before I even read how you felt about it was she's testing you... >.< sorry! I don't like to think of my friends this way either, but I've had them do this with me before as well... to me it's a "reaction test" maybe they feel insecure, or just want to guarantee that you have no interest in their relations... either way, it would make me uncomfortable as well.

That's not to say that she isn't just genuinely sharing this with you for other reasons... it may be that she just really values your opinion on her SOs... and vs/vs even... that she wants to let you know that the two of her most important people would get on well and all.

But, I don't generally /like/ compare and contrast coming from my love interests, to anyone... friend or not. So, this is just me, but I find it awkward when someone does this sort of "testing" on me... and, wouldn't dream of doing it with my friends like that. If someone I was with thought so and so of my dear friends was attractive or just said they were really cool people~ yeah, I'd think that was special and would mention it if it came up... like if my friend suspected that the SO didn't really care for her... but if you aren't in that predicament and the issue hasn't come up in this way or similar, then why mention it, right? >.<; That might just be me though~ I've got the insecurities of a Saturn-opp-Moon person and the jealousy disorder of a Mars in Scorpio, and Taurus Moon... so being really vocal about my special person's opinions or tastes in one of my friends would put me off foot with him... and, I'd be probably be too appalled to mention it repeatedly to said friend. Truthfully, half in fear of that friends possible reaction and half due to my own insecurities with said lover... T__T

I... I don't think so...
HDPT ^^

maybe - let her know it makes you feel uncomfortable, if you've been friends for very long she'll understand, right? ^_^

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T
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posted January 14, 2013 10:55 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for T     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
She's now talking to a new guy and she again said "I showed him your Facebook and he thinks you're really pretty." Okay.... I don't want her men and I never have!

my first thought: I think she is passing on the compliment thinking you'd probably like to hear it - that most people like to hear nice compliments like that. I doubt she is testing you or anything weird like that. Taureans like to make people feel good and happy. It's probably innocent. The Taurus/Pisces combo makes me think so. Taureans don't typically play games like that or have ulterior motives. My bet is it's just a different way of complementing you. Maybe she thinks you need to hear things like that.

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T
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posted January 14, 2013 11:00 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for T     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
You said it makes you uncomfortable...Since she's your friend, try to find a way to bring it up to her and find out why she's doing it and that you don't like it. Maybe you'll come to a better understanding of why she does it and you can also tell her how it comes off to you and that you'd rather not hear it. Could bring you to a better understanding about each other and make you closer friends.

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T
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posted January 14, 2013 11:13 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for T     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
*also I would do something like this and not think anything of it, if I thought my friend needed to hear something like that. Although I compliment people often anyway. Does she also compliment you and tell you when you look great as well?

I can see how it could seem weird to someone else I guess, but never would think to do it as some sort of test.

As a sign we are pretty simplistic....maybe a bit dense sometimes ....like little kids.

I really get the feeling she thinks you need to hear compliments like this and that's why she's doing it. May be a way of saying: "See? Men find you attractive."

But of course, who knows!

Hope it's just something like that and you find a way to bring it up to her and figure it out.

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hannaramaa
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posted January 15, 2013 12:42 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hannaramaa     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hey T and Saturnine!

I do agree with T for the most part. I guess I thought she was testing me because of other small comments she's made (granted few and far between) like how she was jealous of my ability to look cute, or she made a random comment that she thought my other friend was jealous of me (but she's never met her...) sometimes when people say things or make assumptions about other people I kind of assume they're actually speaking for themselves. That might be crazy talk, I'm not sure.

NOW for the optimistic part - I don't see her as a jealous person really. If she does get jealous she rationalizes it away (Mercury, Venus, and Mars all in air signs!) until she's convinced herself and everyone else that it wasn't really jealousy. LOL.

I guess it's just weird to me because I'm similar to Saturnine. I'm very territorial! I could handle one comment from my boyfriend about one of my friends (I don't think I'd really care if it was about a random stranger either) but that's about it. If he repeatedly told me good things about my friend I'd be suspicious (of where his heart is.) I have Moon in Taurus and Moon opposition Pluto, trine Saturn. so it's not so much telling my friend but moreso wondering why my boyfriend is telling me these things. Then again maybe that's what trusting someone is all about. Not sure.

Whatever the case, there's a lot of communication in our friendship and I'll bring it up to her sometime to find out her reasoning. I wanted other girls', women's opinion on it though to see if I was being nutty or not.

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T
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posted January 15, 2013 05:02 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for T     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
sometimes when people say things or make assumptions about other people I kind of assume they're actually speaking for themselves. That might be crazy talk, I'm not sure.

No, I don't think it is. I had similar thoughts and do even moreso after reading more.

Let us know how it goes after you talk to her more. Sounds like you are secure enough in your friendship to talk to her and know she's probably doing it from her own issues....and nothing more. Or maybe just going about something the wrong way.

All the best.

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hannaramaa
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posted January 22, 2013 12:27 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hannaramaa     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
So I talked to her about it and I guess she never put together that she only forwarded compliments to me from men she was dating. She said they usually end up talking about astrology because I got her into it, and then I come up because of that. I don't know why Facebook has to be brought into the equation but *shrug*. I said what I needed to say and she knows better now. I just love Mercury in Geminis, they're so easy to communicate with!

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