posted January 31, 2013 05:44 PM            

And I've noticed that sometimes (just sometimes) if I refuse to jump in the mud with someone that the other person will eventually pull themselves out of the mud they're slinging and try acting like adults.

The delicate line I have to watch is how I express myself online as my Sag energy (minus my Libra tones & expressions that can be easily discerned IRL but not online) can really come off as offensive (not just blunt, but downright hostile). For example, I once casually & friendly said for someone to start another thread about an off topic subject, and if we'd been face to face I doubt he'd have taken offense, but as just pixels on the screen there was no facial cues, body language, or tone of voice and I came off as imperious to that person who had a meltdown over it. I felt bad about that because I saw that as mental laziness on my part, with a little more care, or even just a smiley, I could've avoided that (or at least removed my sense of guilt had I still been misunderstood as scolding him), but I'd simply forgotten that people just get the words and not the tone & intent, so someone who grew up being bullied, harshly criticized, and abused are likely to perceive me as being like past tormentors because that's what they've come to expect from people (and all the immature trolls & flame warriors on the net don't help either).

OTOH, some people are just crazy (that is, it's not so much that I can be too blunt as they need some serious psychological help). It really peeves me when an innocent question is seen as a personal attack, or even worse, when I pay someone a compliment but the person I complimented is so insecure that they perceive my compliment as a personal attack (one guy even got himself banned when he threatened to track me down, rape me, and chop me up with an ax, and then I caught him on another board blaming me for having "provoked" him, and the really ironic/moronic bit was the board was dogpiling him and I was the one person to speak up in his defense and try to calm everyone down as I was a moderator of that now nonexistent board yet he thought I was attacking him when I was the only one who wasn't, and btw it was another mod who banned him).

Taking offense at trivial stuff is nonsensical to me as well (this happens IRL as well as online). For example, if someone says they don't like a series, fanfic slash/ship, movie, author, or performer that I love I shrug it off with a "different strokes for different folks." And if a person was only briefly exposed (like 1 ep or less of a show) then I realize that it might've either been a bad ep or the person needed more context, not that I'm inclined to say that as I don't think it's important. But apparently many people can't be that easygoing. I once shared online about a road trip and mentioned how watching the TV at a motel made me realize why I didn't watch too much of it and briefly describing a couple of shows got someone to go nuclear that I didn't like her favorite TV show (which I wasn't even able to name but she recognized from my brief description). I suppose it's a type of immaturity (I've sure seen plenty of kids get into Jerry Springer arguments over Nick vs. Disney, Miley vs. Selena, Potter vs. Twilight, etc) that some never outgrow, but I think it's more likely to be an insecurity issue (no matter the age).

posted January 31, 2013 06:02 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hannaramaa:
How do you deal with immaturity? I see it on here a lot, and I have to deal with it at work and in my classes. I'm starting to go nuts. Sure, I understand we all have our moments, I really do. However, most of the time I get just SO annoyed with it. I don't know how to deal with those lacking in common sense or maturity but I wondered what you do in those instances and how you guard against letting it get under your skin. I don't want to be walking around annoyed with everything all the time.

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Ignore

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posted February 01, 2013 12:27 AM            

I felt that way when I was going through it the first time around.

My best suggestion is wait and watch, if your in your first or second year half of your classmates will be gone.

You'll start seeing your classmates dropping courses or switching programs.

Only the serious students remain in there third or fourth year.

Another thing to consider is maybe your not in the same league as your classmates.

By that I mean maybe you should be in Bachelor of Science Psychology and not Bachelor of Arts Psychology.

BA's students are looked down by BSc and Engineering students and society judges BA students more harshly, there are obvious reasons.

Or stay as a BA, keeping a good CGPA is much easier to maintain as a BA than a BSc, then get to graduate school.

One of my profs originally earned a BA in Geology then got a MSc and PhD.

I know you can do either your an Aries, Aries are suppose to be very determined.

You'll go much further then your classmates, so don't let it get to you.

Sorry for sounding blunt, but that's simply reality.

posted February 01, 2013 01:20 AM            

I always picked team mates that were fun and immature. Willing to party. Because I could and did all the work. Whether they learned anything or grasped the concepts were none of my business. Plus they would never argue. If I was grouped with some dumb chicks that wanted to work hard but didn't have the capacity to actually think I would be hugely annoyed. (I am not sexist but i really noticed this in school. hardworking women with low brain capacity. Not saying all since most women top classes. Just the mediocre ones I felt had something to prove just because they were women and wanted their opinions validated) I was grouped with such people before. Wanted to meet constantly because they could not grasp the process of what was needed to make a paper. IMO you should be able to do everything yourself even if it is groupwork. I ended up screaming at them because they wanted me to translate their words to simple English and their ideas were sh1t anyway, which got on my nerves coz they took so long to come up with them in the first place and bossed us guys around when they didn't have the brains for it. Plus they got mad at us drinking all the time. it impairs motor skills not brain capacity. I think lol!

posted February 01, 2013 01:29 AM            

I'm not in the same league as them! I go to a commuting university so there are many middle-aged adults in my classes. They love taking up class time trading stories about their kids, nephews, daughters, etc. I want to stand up and remind them this is not the curbside while they wait to pick up their children from school and our professor is not their counselor. I suppose it's less to do with what they say and more with the fact I feel my time is being wasted.

Another example is how my professor used the Westboro Baptist Church or the 9/11 attacks as examples of post-conventional reasoning and obviously they're controversial but you would think being in a classroom setting it was understood these were just EXAMPLES in order to balance out the notion of what PCR was. No. Everyone took the opportunity to get up in arms about both organizations and again, I felt like my time was being wasted by having to listen to it. I would just like to claw my eyes out when their fussing begins.

posted February 01, 2013 01:06 PM            

The counter to that argument is cost and year standing. You could go to another university but the tuition could be higher and if your paying your way it will be a financial roller coaster.

Another question is does your program have a coop option?. I think that's really what it boils down to, that way you can get related
psychology work in the summer while working on your degree.

Oh and year standing. If your almost finished your degree then finish it.

quote:

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Originally posted by hannaramaa:
Another example is how my professor used the Westboro Baptist Church or the 9/11 attacks as examples of post-conventional reasoning and obviously they're controversial but you would think being in a classroom setting it was understood these were just EXAMPLES in order to balance out the notion of what PCR was. No. Everyone took the opportunity to get up in arms about both organizations and again, I felt like my time was being wasted by having to listen to it. I would just like to claw my eyes out when their fussing begins.

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You should be proud that your still able to think for yourself.

The problem is its not until your last year and you do a thesis or are a graduate student that your given the change to think for yourself.

Otherwise its regurgitation from what the prof says.

It sucks because if you want those marks, your forced to conform.

For some majors this is why we have a generation of dummies.

posted February 01, 2013 01:53 PM            

Although there are people from all walks of life and personalities wherever you go and getting along with them is a fact of life, I doubt I would run into the same ignorance in more progressive areas. It's my dream to live in California or Seattle someday post-education.

What's the 'coop option'? I get the jist of it since you mentioned psychology work, but don't know what it means literally.

Alas, I'm about a year and some scratch from graduating. The tuition is cheap, and my grades aren't up to par for other universities or scholarships. So I'll just hunker down and throw myself into school work in avoidance of these dummies.

posted February 01, 2013 02:15 PM            

I hope your not in debt with student loans and then finding yourself underemployed.

Well, I don't judge you in terms of grades it helps if your parents are supportive. I know you said you had some problem with your Mom.

My Mom thinks you can just play politics in the workplace over education.
So she hasn't been that supportive for me.