posted March 22, 2013 07:28 AM            

When I was 13 I met him, at the time he was 24, he would make sexual advances towards me (even after he found out) and he would cause a lot of drama and leave many times

He would play with me and my friends mind (he was dating a 19 y.o, which was my friend too) and go nuts claiming he was from the "MAFIA"....

Well, I got mad, started sending him nasty emails and stalking him for 5 months, that was bad on my part, even because I got ****** off because he tricked us and he even lied about who he was ect

8 months later, I haven't bothered him, But I sent him an apology note, he ignored me and blocked me. I was like, "okay then"

then later I see him saying someone is stalking and harassing him on Yahoo! Answers

He's being a real a^s right now as I have not been talking to him for 8 months!!

posted March 22, 2013 07:50 AM            

If it did go as far as you having to defend yourself legally, what then would be your response? If he did act inappropriately toward you then I would suggest he is trying to be a victim, to scare you, unless he was geniunly bothered by your harassment (though considering the ages, I highly doubt that), as he would not want to incriminate himself.

His advances toward you were simply wrong and you should get some support from someone you trust. Don't worry, avoid the idiot and be sensible!

posted March 22, 2013 08:54 AM            

Second , if he was to report you, your parents would have the info & resources to help you.

Third, SunChild hit it on the head by stating he would most certainly raise some (unwanted) eyebrows on him self . Personally, I think he knows that and like his mafia games, ,he is trying to frighten you.

Lessons learned the hard way.

posted March 25, 2013 12:34 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by KarkaQueen:
....When I was 13 I met him, at the time he was 24, he would make sexual advances towards me (even after he found out)

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Well, you should threaten him back by saying I can report you as Pedophile for making advances to a minor.

posted March 25, 2013 03:47 AM            

A neighbor I used to have was killed by her boyfriend who had pretended to be in a gang. He stabbed her to death while she was on the phone to 911. Sure, he's in prison now, but she's in the grave and I imagine it was an excruciating death as he didn't want it to be too fast, and he'd already made the decision that killing her was worth prison, and his life (as far as I know) hadn't been destroyed by her, she'd simply told him to get lost and got a restraining order against him. (He also killed her cat and left the cat on her doorstep like a couple of weeks before he killed her.)

If the guy was a threat to you I'd say do all you could to stop him, but he's not, he's a nuisance who's gone away and you just need to stop obsessing about him, no matter what BS he comes up with (sounds like that's about all he comes up with anyway). But if you report him then he could very well become a threat rather than an annoyance easily ignored (you ignore it by focusing on your own life rather than looking for drama that's over and done with).

posted March 26, 2013 07:25 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
JJust as a warning...the above said is somewhat true (doesn't ALWAYS work out that way, but it does enough times, and heck, even peeing on school grounds at 2 AM while drunk can get you listed as a sexual offender dangerous to children), there's a danger to it as well: such people have taken violent, murderous revenge on those who took out restraining orders on them, and I can tell you from experience when I saw my dad crawl through our window in a homicidal rage after Mom that the restraining order is WORTHLESS when it comes to stopping an outright attack. .....

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Yes, but your comparing apples to oranges.
A restraining order from an abusive partner is one thing pedophilia is a different story.

posted March 26, 2013 07:39 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by SpooL:
Yes, but your comparing apples to oranges

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No I'm not, the principle is the same, even worse. A person with a restraining order doesn't have his (or her) life ruined. A person registered as a sexual offender does, so there's even MORE motivation to react violently than in the case of the restraining order, especially by a guy who thinks violence is cool.

And btw, I don't believe he's really with the mafia or any other gang, so that's irrelevant. Even if he is with an actual gang (not to be confused with a few fellow flunkies calling themselves that) they'd consider that his lookout and not something to risk their business with.

posted March 26, 2013 09:35 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by SpooL:

People would turn a blind eye towards drugs and gangs, but would never turn a blind eye to a pedophile are society is built that way.[/B]

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not completely accurate... people, in general, will turn their heads away from any sort of human ugliness... it's only after the fact that we become morally indignant and outraged...

PixieJane is right - this "man" is a nuisance, a rather gross nuisance but nothing more... if he is mentally unstable you have no way of predicting what could set him off.... talk to your parents so they are completely aware and then walk away...

------------------
" Some define good as that which preserves, and evil as that which destroys; but destruction can be cleansing and purifying, for there is such a thing in both men and races as spiritual constipation, which comes from too much preservation of the status quo." ( Dion Fortune )

posted March 26, 2013 10:02 AM            

KarkaQueen, I would add that unless is is a relative, a man that old is very unusual to be entertaining a girl in her early teens. It is a red flag and one you now know to be alert to, avoid and share with a responsible adult when they come into your space again.

I hope it all works out safe and well for you.

posted March 26, 2013 11:36 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
No I'm not, the principle is the same, even worse. A person with a restraining order doesn't have his (or her) life ruined.

A person registered as a sexual offender does, so there's even MORE motivation to react violently than in the case of the restraining order, especially by a guy who thinks violence is cool.

And btw, I don't believe he's really with the mafia or any other gang, so that's irrelevant.

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I was never referring to a restraining order, when I was referring to
Apples and Oranges, sigh.

Clearly he isn't linked to the mafia, he's simply trying to play on the gullibility factor.

But, If you lived in a suburb community with plenty of young family's and lots of children.

Do you think the offender would even have a chance to breath? It doesn't take long for the information to go out and the entire will want him out of the community or keep an eye out.

quote:

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Originally posted by emitres:
not completely accurate... people, in general, will turn their heads away from any sort of human ugliness... it's only after the fact that we become morally indignant and outraged...

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Depends. I'm referring to a community were gangs have complete power over the community, but are overlooked because theres a somewhat economic factor involved.

If your referring to the "Bystander effect" it is true that people turn a blind eye, but I'm referring to something much more.

posted March 26, 2013 11:40 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by SpooL:
Well Obviously, Maybe you misunderstood. I'm referring to getting the individual in question registered as a sex offender not a restraining order.

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posted March 26, 2013 11:45 AM            

But, deepening on the community has a factor to. If the community knows that an offender is close by there will be more vigilance and less likelihood of violence.

posted March 26, 2013 11:51 AM            

He certainly doesn't seem the type to just shrivel up in shame over being reported and sounds like he equates violence with respect & power, and if he can't get a job then what does he have to lose? If he feels he's losing everything he may decide to TAKE everything.

posted March 26, 2013 11:56 AM            

Of course we both got side tracked.
I know your heart is in the right place regarding her safety.

But, I stick to more of a "proactive community" concept were everyone works together to keep her safe in a good suburban neighborhood.

posted March 26, 2013 12:06 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by KarkaQueen:
Some 25-year-old man keeps threatening to report me for harassment and stalking.

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quote:

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Originally posted by KarkaQueen:
Well, I got mad, started sending him nasty emails and stalking him for 5 months, that was bad on my part, even because I got ****** off because he tricked us and he even lied about who he was ect

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by KarkaQueen:

When I was 13 I met him, at the time he was 24, he would make sexual advances towards me (even after he found out) and he would cause a lot of drama and leave many times

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by KarkaQueen:

He would play with me and my friends mind (he was dating a 19 y.o, which was my friend too) and go nuts claiming he was from the "MAFIA"....

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by KarkaQueen:

Well, I got mad, started sending him nasty emails and stalking him for 5 months, that was bad on my part, even because I got ****** off because he tricked us and he even lied about who he was ect

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by KarkaQueen:

8 months later, I haven't bothered him, But I sent him an apology note, he ignored me and blocked me. I was like, "okay then"

then later I see him saying someone is stalking and harassing him on Yahoo! Answers

He's being a real a^s right now as I have not been talking to him for 8 months!!

---

quote:

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Originally posted by KarkaQueen:

Can a 25 year old even report a 14 year old? I should be reporting him because the sexual advances and threats he gave me.

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posted March 26, 2013 04:07 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by SpooL:
I stick to more of a "proactive community" concept were everyone works together to keep her safe in a good suburban neighborhood.

Also, offenders are publicly listed or if not people can gain access and stay relatively safe.

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It's a nice thought, but not something I'd count on. Just because they're polite and exchange small talk doesn't mean they're going to involve themselves in anything that might be dangerous to them, best to pretend they don't see anything (think of them as "sunshine patriots" where they're nice unless real risk enters the picture, and then they think of themselves first). That's how MOST people are, even in the most peaceful suburbs. Most don't check the d-bases, either. Families have been known to refuse to protect even their own child, especially if the abuser is related. And the system is capricious as well, and sometimes girls are forced back in with abusers.

I'd say rural is different, but even then a little girl (at least once she's 13) is likely to be seen at least as partially to blame for even the sexual misconduct of someone in his 50s toward her. That is, his obnoxious behavior, and even felonious sexual violence on his part, is seen as her fault, and that also makes people less likely to get involved (unless it's a racial minority threatening a white girl or something like that). It sucks, it's not fair, it's not right, but that's the way it is no matter how much we know it's wrong.

Btw, I also recall how one brave little suburban girl had to be taken out of school for reporting. The reporting worked, the guy was instantly taken off the streets and he was convicted of not only molesting her but of other little girls as well. (Thing was the mom, who I used to go to the same shooting range with, is an expert in krav maga as well as firearms so when he threatened to kill her and her mom if she told the little girl figured it was her mom who'd kill him instead and told...hope she wasn't too disappointed that her mom called the sheriff instead.) But it got out because partially it was on the news and some people in jail found out more details and let it out once released and/or on the phone (the little girl also had an uncle locked up at the time who beat the crap out of the confessed child molester) and it got spread through the neighborhood. Girls at school, those who themselves were in danger of this creep (and may have been victims themselves) tormented her viciously as a **** and even some of the boys joined in tormenting her, and of course the school allowed it as they typically do so that the mom had to take her out. THAT'S how real life works. Not always, but often enough that one needs to be prepared for it rather than trusting in the rare goodwill of one's fellow humans.

posted March 26, 2013 11:18 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
It's a nice thought, but not something I'd count on. Just because they're polite and exchange small talk doesn't mean they're going to involve themselves in anything that might be dangerous to them, best to pretend they don't see anything (think of them as "sunshine patriots" where they're nice unless real risk enters the picture, and then they think of themselves first). That's how MOST people are, even in the most peaceful suburbs. Most don't check the d-bases, either. Families have been known to refuse to protect even their own child, especially if the abuser is related. And the system is capricious as well, and sometimes girls are forced back in with abusers.

I'd say rural is different, but even then a little girl

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Do we live in different environments/communities? or are people in Canada more likely to watch over each other compared to in the US.

You'll be surprised what people report where I am, its practically mynute what people call about. Plus we have a neighborhood community watch.

I've been at my neighbors several times and we watch over each others homes if either of us are away for extended periods.

My block is full of young families and the children are always top concern.
There are 4 elementary schools and a junior high. Plus 3 Retirement Homes.

Rural areas are interesting. Any outsider is deemed suspicious, but at the same time there equally suspicious of each other.

posted March 27, 2013 03:39 PM            

Actually, the story gets getting worse, it turns out he was a she -- well a... a past woman taking pills to become a man. I'm not surprised, as he was heavily emotional and very sensitive. now i know why he made up fake names , his real name was a woman's name. i guess he just wanted a new start as a boy.

its on the internet