posted July 09, 2013 05:23 AM            

ARIES: "Dear God! Give me PATIENCE and I want it NOW!"

TAURUS: "Dear God, please help me accept CHANGE in my life, but NOT YET."

GEMINI: "Yo God...(or is it Goddess?)...Who are you?...What are you?.....Where are You?.....How many of you ARE there? I can't figure you out!"

CANCER: "Dear Daddy, I know I shouldn't depend on you so much, but you're the only One I can count on while my security blanket is at the cleaners."

LEO: "Hi, Pop! I'll bet you're really proud to have me as your kid!"

VIRGO: "Dear God, please make the world a better place, and don't screw it up like you did the last time."

LIBRA: "Dear God, I know I should make decisions for myself. But, on the other hand, what do YOU think?"

SCORPIO: "Dear God, help me forgive my enemies, even if the ******** don't deserve it."

SAGITTARIUS: "OH ALMIGHTY, ALL KNOWING, ALL-LOVING, ALL-POWERFUL, OMNIPRESENT, EVERLASTING GOD, IF I'VE ASKED YOU ONCE, I'VE ASKED YOU A THOUSAND TIMES --- HELP ME STOP EXAGGERATING!!!!!!!!!!"

CAPRICORN: "Dear Father, I was going to pray, but I guess I ought to figure things out for myself. Thanks anyway."

AQUARIUS: "Hi God! Some say you're a man. Some say you're a woman. I say we're ALL God. So, why pray? Let's have a party!"

posted July 09, 2013 05:31 AM            

Aries: Why you selfish, self-centered son-of-a-***** ! You always put your needs before mine! What about me? What about how I feel? Huh? That’s always been the problem with this relationship: everything is always about you!

Taurus: **arms folded across the chest and heels firmly dug in** I’m not going to sign the divorce papers. Ever. And, no, you may not have your car keys.

Gemini: Does that mean you are not coming to the book reading with me tonight? Okay, don’t worry, I’ll call Janie. And we’ll talk more about this next week when I’m back from my trip. Or you could call me while I’m on the road or text me or Facebook me. We’ll talk. Bye!

Cancer: **Cancer’s eyes mist up, and the guilt-ridden spouse breaks into a torrent of words** Say something! Don’t cry! Wait, where are you going? Honey, eating that pie is not a good idea. Remember you were going to stick to your diet? Okay, fine! I’ll stay.

Leo: You want to leave me? Why? What’s wrong with you? You took your medication, right?

Virgo: The current stats say that one out of every four marriages end in divorce. Can’t fight the numbers, I guess.

Libra: Leaving me? But I just redecorated your den! And booked us for that couples-only thing at the spa! Have you considered the pros and cons of your decision?

Scorpio: **the announcement is followed by deafening silence from the Scorpio who hasn’t moved a muscle and nervous chatter from the soon-to-be-an-ex**
I knew you’d take it as calmly as you always do. I mean, you are mostly calm, except a few times when you went berserk and the neighbours had to call 911. So, I’ll just leave now, okay? And please don’t do that voodoo thing. And promise me you won’t sacrifice the dog on the next full moon as a cleansing ritual just because I got him for you?

Sagittarius: Jeez! Is this about the cute neighbour again? Yeah, she’s hot, but I was just giving her gardening tips. Honest!

Capricorn: What about our joint-accounts and those investments we are committed to? We’re up for the country club this year, this is not a good time for you to leave.

Aquarius: **looking up and sounding abstracted** I thought we were going to try and have twins so we could do research on twins? I think we can still go ahead with that. Let me check the ephemeris for your next fertile period. Shall we do it when the moon is in Gemini? That should up our chances of a multiple pregnancy. Where is the ephemeris? Hey, stop! Why are you tearing it?

posted July 09, 2013 07:17 PM            

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted July 10, 2013 04:17 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Randall:
It's true that Sags are dramatic!

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Quite Saggies are so adorable when they are dramatic tho

posted July 13, 2013 02:11 PM            

quote:

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And promise me you won’t sacrifice the dog on the next full moon as a cleansing ritual just because I got him for you?

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posted July 25, 2013 11:51 PM            

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Originally posted by 11nahyt:
Omg wtf is Aries doing? Lmao

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posted July 26, 2013 09:05 AM            

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Originally posted by Randall:
You a funny Sag!

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posted July 26, 2013 12:35 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by charmainec:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Randall:
[b]You a funny Sag!

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posted July 26, 2013 12:44 PM            

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Originally posted by charmainec:
What is the metal Aries dude doing?

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