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Author
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Topic: It's complicated...
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MoonWitch
Moderator Posts: 1268
From: The Beach
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted October 01, 2013 02:31 PM
  
So, I don't know where to post this so anyone feel free to move it where they will. I thought about Divine Diversities because it sort of has to do with religion but sort of now. I thought about the Teen forum since it is about my teen and I thought teen input may be good but then wondered if I'd be intruding there. I thought about Hearth and Home since that forum is about nothing but this really isn't nothing. Then I thought about Labors of Love since it's sort of about parenting but again, not entirely. I think if I put it in any of those forums it'll be moved anyway so...whomever else here can decide. I guess I'm just looking for some input/advice. Or maybe I just need to type this out. So, my 14 year old son comes knocking at my bedroom door last night at 11pm, crying. We go into his room to have a chat. Apparently, he couldn’t sleep because all he could think about is what happens when you die. I tried telling him what some people believe and what I believe, etc (I'm agnostic but sort of spiritual if that makes sense) but he said he thinks you just die and that’s it. Your brain just stops working and you’re gone forever. The thing that upset him most about this thought was that he wouldn’t remember all the people he loves and it was really tearing him apart last night. He said he has a great life and if he dies when he’s 89 years old, he’ll be all alone. I told him he’ll probably have kids, grandkids and maybe great-grandkids surrounding him. He said “But I won’t have the people that raised me” and he started crying all over again. He said he was thinking about it so much last night he almost passed out and the same thing happened to him in English class last year when he was thinking about it there. I told him everyone in the world thinks about these things at some point, some more than others. I told him although I don’t have all the answers that I believe that we have souls and I don’t believe when we die here that we are gone forever. I tried to talk to him about people with near-death experiences and what they see. He said he thinks that could just be the brain hallucinating since it doesn’t die completely for several minutes. I told him that science doesn’t have the answers to everything and humans don’t know far more than they actually do know. He said time seems to be going too fast and he expressed concern that so much of life is wasted in school, only to move on to full-time jobs where you spend most of your life working working working when people should be spending time with their families and friends. He’s so very smart and so very very sensitive. I don’t know how to give him some peace on the subject or even if I can give him any peace which breaks my heart. I also worry because he is so sensitive and I hate the idea of him having anxiety the way that I am sometimes prone to experience. IP: Logged |
Ellynlvx
Knowflake Posts: 87
From: Mountain Gate
Registered: Aug 2013
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posted October 01, 2013 03:34 PM
Smart Kid!!!He's right, we DO spend too much time on the wrong things! That's what Labors of Love is all about. The most important thing is Evolving. That and getting in touch with one's Holy Guardian Angel. That is the one thing that lasts, so many things are just transitory. I have felt when my loved ones have passed, I have felt them in different ways, depending a lot on how they went and whether they felt compelled to stay and comfort those who sought to hold them close. I distinctly recall when I dreamed that my Grandmother was no longer in the house. I died after childbirth and it was the most beautiful thing I had ever experienced, coming back was pure atch e double hockey sticks! Death is the last thing I fear, welcome it in fact. Tell him to take a look at the Autumn leaves outside the window, do they ever really die? I'll tell you a rest is most assuredly welcomed and deserved. And Love lives forever. IP: Logged |
Lexxigramer
Moderator Posts: 3240
From: The Etheric Realms...Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat...& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion!
Registered: Feb 2012
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posted October 01, 2013 03:53 PM
Your son sounds very intelligent and very curious and philosophical. 
My son threw much of his fears into his art work. Others have thrown it into their writing.
It helps to explore and express these fears in a tangible way.
Trying to appreciate our time here as best as we can; the little things are indeed the big things.  Sadly too;
these "little" things, are often only seen, if ever, in retrospect by folks in the busy busy rat race of the world. 
I applaud your son for noticing so much as such a young age.
I am glad you tell him that you yourself, "do not have the answers".
Kids who have not been brainwashed by being indoctrinated very young into religion, are often far more discerning in their ability to "know when adults are lying" about death, dying, afterlife, or not.
So while it gives him no peace when you tell him you do not know the answers;
it makes him know that he can be honest with you, trust you, and can tell you how he feels without being ridiculed or told lies to pacify him.
Encourage him to talk to you about his fears.
Encourage him to write in a journal or draw or paint to express his thoughts and fears.
Help him to not worry so much about the what ifs of when he is 89 years old. Yes, losing loved ones during one's life is very sad and often hard to deal with. Teach him to show, and live the love while he can.
As for afterlife;
well it can be the dying brain experience;
but;
what about others suddenly "seeing" the dying or ill person, from thousands of miles away? I know in my own NDEs that things pointed to others who had no way of knowing that I had died for a few minutes, to them knowing because I appeared to them, and I remember seeing them while I was out of body.
I have seen too many things that to me can only be explained by us continuing after bodily death, including what appears to be reincarnation.
I have solved murders too, because the victims "talked" to me.
Later I would see it in the news and find out that all they told me was true.
There was no way for me to know such details, including names and places and how the people looked.
I don't want you scaring your son with such things;
but I feel we do indeed continue after bodily death.
I think about such things as life after bodily death a lot, like several times a day 24/7 due to various real reasons that make me have no choice but to dwell on these matters and ponder how to not leave a mess behind including how to dispose of my corpse as easily and cheaply as possible.
I sure wish I had the answers to it all, the life, death, after life or not. I can understand your son's fear. 
I am sorry my post may be of no help.
Not doing physically well here and rather foggy brained.
Hope I made some sense.
I feel though that you are doing the right thing by making him feel free to tell you how he feels and not lying to him.
PS.
Glad you posted here at LLC2; because I was forced to resign my mod position at UC due to invasion of my privacy by a few people;
and extreme negativity from some folks I tried to help outside of LL;
who really did not want help, but just wanted attention.
So glad you posted here at LLC2 because I would not have replied to you at UC where I no longer feel safe or welcome at this time.
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MoonWitch
Moderator Posts: 1268
From: The Beach
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted October 01, 2013 04:35 PM
quote:
I have felt when my loved ones have passed, I have felt them in different ways, depending a lot on how they went and whether they felt compelled to stay and comfort those who sought to hold them close. I distinctly recall when I dreamed that my Grandmother was no longer in the house. I died after childbirth and it was the most beautiful thing I had ever experienced, coming back was pure atch e double hockey sticks! Death is the last thing I fear, welcome it in fact. Tell him to take a look at the Autumn leaves outside the window, do they ever really die? I'll tell you a rest is most assuredly welcomed and deserved. And Love lives forever. [/B]
<3
I believe what I do because of my experiences. So many things have happened to me that can't be explained and I am not crazy! I've seen ghosts, heard things, felt things, dreamed of things before the fact... too many things to think life is so cut and dry. So you had a near-death experience? Can you describe it? I'd love to get my son some literature or documentaries for him to watch (maybe better because kids these days like the visual input).
IP: Logged |
MoonWitch
Moderator Posts: 1268
From: The Beach
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted October 01, 2013 04:41 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Lexxigramer:
As for afterlife;
well it can be the dying brain experience;
but;
what about others suddenly "seeing" the dying or ill person, from thousands of miles away?
Funny you suggest that because I actually brought that up to him last night as well! He hadn't really heard of that happening before. I am going to look up some stories about this and share with him.
I like your idea about getting him to express his fears through art. He's a fine painter. And, yes, he is a sweet, sensitive, deep, thoughtful and smart kid. I'm leaving work early today so I can pick him up right after school. We're going to watch a movie at home. One of my all time favorite movies. "What Dreams May Come". It's sort of a heavy movie but it is so moving and really makes you think... and it has a good ending so...
btw - I didn't see what happened in UC but I'm sorry you're feeling so badly, Lexx. <3
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MoonWitch
Moderator Posts: 1268
From: The Beach
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted October 01, 2013 04:52 PM
Here's my little man!  IP: Logged |
Lexxigramer
Moderator Posts: 3240
From: The Etheric Realms...Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat...& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion!
Registered: Feb 2012
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posted October 01, 2013 07:36 PM
quote:
Originally posted by MoonWitch:
Here's my little man!
I did not re-post your son's pictures in case you wanted to delete for privacy later on.
He is quite a handsome young man!
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Ellynlvx
Knowflake Posts: 87
From: Mountain Gate
Registered: Aug 2013
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posted October 01, 2013 07:44 PM
quote:
Originally posted by MoonWitch:
<3
I believe what I do because of my experiences. So many things have happened to me that can't be explained and I am not crazy! I've seen ghosts, heard things, felt things, dreamed of things before the fact... too many things to think life is so cut and dry.So you had a near-death experience? Can you describe it? I'd love to get my son some literature or documentaries for him to watch (maybe better because kids these days like the visual input).
This song describes it beautifully...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZaqmwDauOto IP: Logged |
Lexxigramer
Moderator Posts: 3240
From: The Etheric Realms...Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat...& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion!
Registered: Feb 2012
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posted October 01, 2013 08:04 PM
quote:
Originally posted by MoonWitch:
Funny you suggest that because I actually brought that up to him last night as well! He hadn't really heard of that happening before. I am going to look up some stories about this and share with him.
I will try and find you some positive stories or movies if you wish.
quote:
Originally posted by MoonWitch:
I like your idea about getting him to express his fears through art. He's a fine painter.
Excellent!
My son has a degree in art and is a teacher. His art has helped him a lot. quote:
Originally posted by MoonWitch:
And, yes, he is a sweet, sensitive, deep, thoughtful and smart kid.
Wonderful! 
quote:
Originally posted by MoonWitch:
I'm leaving work early today so I can pick him up right after school. We're going to watch a movie at home. One of my all time favorite movies. "What Dreams May Come". It's sort of a heavy movie but it is so moving and really makes you think... and it has a good ending so...
Yes it is a heavy movie but a good one.
The Sixth Sense is a good movie.
The Others is another good one.
These movies are concerning trapped souls too like in What Dreams May Come.
I have shared my NDE here at LL awhile back.
Also some of my experiences with folks who have died.
quote:
Originally posted by MoonWitch:
btw - I didn't see what happened in UC but I'm sorry you're feeling so badly, Lexx. <3
I stopped posting years ago on certain types of threads usually.
I preferred if I became involved;
to keep such help private.
I was shown no respect, and felt violated;
and worse; used and my precious time wasted.
So yeah, felt I had no choice but to leave
as mod at UC. PS,
Some of the old Star Trek Next Generation episodes dealt with other realities and afterlife scenarios. IP: Logged |
Dreaming111
Knowflake Posts: 1723
From:
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted October 01, 2013 11:52 PM
Wow. I feel this way too. I used to cry as a kid about similar questions. I think what is best for him to hear would be that whether you have only today or years on end....you should make the best of it, live to your potential. Tell him about the people in history or the people in your own neighborhood. You know when I think I'm alone or my problems are magnified, I try to imagine what my neighbors are doing. I just run through their possible problems, headaches, fears, happiness, routines. "He must be cooking something in the oven. The phone is ringing and the dog is barking." Anyway, then you get into more details and imagine what his work life, home life is like and all its problems. Also, if it helps him there are books by doctors mds that describe their near death experiences or research into these things. That might help him understand that the world is so vast and we know so little even though many people walk around with the arrogance of being experts in their field. There was a youtube documentary where scientists from reputed places talked about the possibilities of black holes. One said that it could be creating a new big bang. Or it could be a place where we could in a way travel to another place. The place exactly is unknown. But he mentioned that if one day someone knocks on your door claiming to be your descendant from the future who has learned to travel back in time....do not be alarmed as it is one of many possibilities.
Maybe it could be a hobby or a career for him? To try and uncover what goes on, psychologically before death, neurologically,
physically?
He could go into any field of science almost to help discover parts of the truth. IP: Logged |
Dreaming111
Knowflake Posts: 1723
From:
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted October 01, 2013 11:56 PM
Also, since you are aware that your son is sensitive and highly intelligent, make sure to provide him with a lot of support and stability. It is known that highly sensitive and highly intellectual people are more prone to depression, suicide. I just wanted to bring this up. Since I noticed his expressive eyes, I wanted to make sure that this is something that is made clear and emphasized. IP: Logged |
Lexxigramer
Moderator Posts: 3240
From: The Etheric Realms...Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat...& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion!
Registered: Feb 2012
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posted October 02, 2013 12:04 AM
Dreaming111
Excellent replies! 
These issues are things my partner and I spend much of our time investigating in many varied ways.
IP: Logged |
somethingexcellent
Knowflake Posts: 3026
From: vodka fine, I'm so divine
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted October 02, 2013 01:06 AM
I cried and scared myself when I was 14 over death, dying, and what happens...maybe just ride it out with him and let him grow and learn and he'll come unto himself.  IP: Logged |
charmainec
Moderator Posts: 7279
From: Venus next to Randall
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted October 02, 2013 04:43 AM
This is a great topic. We'll keep it here.Moonwitch, your son is quite special as well as intelligent and sensitive.  I have bits and pieces of my NDE posted around LL but never really shared it here in detail, mostly because it is hard for me to describe it in actual words when it was abstract in the sense of having a feeling..the feeling of lightness, unconditional love and a sense of deep inner peace and feeling connected to everything as if you are a part of every living thing.. Maybe I can post about it later when I'm actually awake. Kitty fluffa woke me up.
Edit: Also, maybe stories about NDE may help ease some of the anxiety he has but not completely because his anxiety is losing the ones he loves.
IP: Logged |
Lexxigramer
Moderator Posts: 3240
From: The Etheric Realms...Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat...& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion!
Registered: Feb 2012
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posted October 02, 2013 05:27 AM
Charmaine.
quote:
Originally posted by Charmainec:
it is hard for me to describe it in actual words when it was abstract in the sense of having a feeling..the feeling of lightness, unconditional love and a sense of deep inner peace and feeling connected to everything as if you are a part of every living thing..
Yes. quote:
Originally posted by charmainec:
Edit: Also, maybe stories about NDE may help ease some of the anxiety he has but not completely because his anxiety is losing the ones he loves.
I agree. IP: Logged |
Ellynlvx
Knowflake Posts: 87
From: Mountain Gate
Registered: Aug 2013
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posted October 02, 2013 10:40 AM
EXACTLY!!!IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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