posted November 19, 2013 08:02 AM            

So glad you're doing better. Keep it up. True, we do need to help ourselves or else other people can only do so much. But if things get worse, please do consider talking to someone. You may need to be lucky to get a good one, but they can help you see why you got so depressed. Sometimes, I find it's reassuring to at least know what is happening to me.

Really sorry it's been so rough for you. All I can say is I know the feeling and the struggle. Yeah, faith is good. <3 Even if it's a small thing, if it gets you through the day, just go for it!

Scary hmm? Yeah, I bet you can handle it.

posted November 20, 2013 09:50 AM            

If you are aware of the astrological heavens, you know you've just gone through some REALLY TOUGH self dis-integrating transits....?

This time period Nov 3 eclipse to your Nov 8th birthday was a wowzer!!!!

Hope these following weeks bring you more clarity and some hope and joy in your Life.

BIG HUGS!!!

posted November 22, 2013 06:01 PM            

And...
Oh my God, I know right? The reactions and knowing people aren't on your side are even worse. If it makes you feel better, of course you're not making things up or imagining them. If anything, you seem like someone who'd rather downplay things than draw attention to yourself. You wouldn't talk about any of this for no reason!

And I'm taking it here for privacy: So sorry about what you're going through on top of the SAD. If you're not ready to go to a psychiatrist, don't do it. It's good to want to get help, but if you're still having doubts, then maybe it's not the right time yet. When it is, you'll know. It's your emotions and trauma, no need to rush it.

Sometimes it's better not to poke into fresh, raw emotions right away. Give yourself some time to let them in and process them if that feels easier for you. There are different ways to cope with problems. Getting professional help is only one and I understand if you don't feel like it yet.

And if you do - again, good job calling them! - then that's great. Brave thing to do.

And thanks. <3 I do my best. Life's pretty much surviving and very little living right now - which it has been since lord knows how long - but I'm trying to find peace with myself.

We'll both make it.

posted November 23, 2013 06:29 PM            

And sure, go ahead and keep some things to yourself - or say them in private. I don't mind not knowing the whole story right away.

posted November 23, 2013 11:42 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Doux Rêve:
Thank You, mirage...
That is very sweet of you. *hug*

I can't find the strength to be positive, now.
But a part of me remains hopeful.

You are precious. <3

---

You are too!!... {{{ }}}

(I've got my own 2nd Saturn-Return going on right NOW... Will have it to the EXACT degree, minute, and arc seconds in a matter of hours from now, Sunday morning 11/24.)

What a storm, Doux Reve! With some really abstract surreal-stirring asteroids moving along through Scorpio too-- .

posted November 23, 2013 11:50 PM            

Seems that many of us have been affected by the stressful planetary transits. I hope the universe holds better days for you ahead... Wishing you Grace for your journey!

posted November 25, 2013 11:55 AM            

I'm just feeling walls and thick motions of watery abominable sadness today...

Sunday morning, at the exactitude of my Saturn return, I had a Spiritual Moment occurring for several hours. I chose to sit outside, on a cloudy windy quiet grey morning here. I clutched my cup of hot coffee close (for warmth), while I read through the "Saturnian" Book of Ecclesiastes (HolyBible).... "Ecclesiastes" means 'The Preacher'... Its bottom-line message is that ALL is 'vanity' (which is translated as 'meaninglessness').... A Saturnian Review of Time Cycles, and mastering evocative lessons in becoming mature throughout various developmental stages in a Lifetime.

To me, this book is a poetic-philosophical look at the overall 'purpose' of life, and multiple lives.

We DON'T get to "really" know what our lives 'meant' until we get to the last breath and last moment we live. It's only AFTER the fact, only AFTER all has been 'said' and 'done' in our lives that we get our Report.... We do our life-overview, and we can look at the Tapestry as ONE piece of work to 'see' what was really accomplished.

Yes, the 'little' things we do count much, and count the MOST. It's the 'attitude' held most-deeply at the bottom of all we do WHILE IT'S BEING "DONE", that is the thing worthy.... You can perform great works of charity or love, but 'what is looked at' in our Final Review is NOT 'what was done' but HOW WE WERE inside as it was BEING done.... The works (whether good, whether harm) isn't what is looked at. It's the Bottom of The Soul, the unconscious attitudes and invisible thinking beneath it ALL that we will (at the end of bodily life) be 'judged or Reviewed like a job-review by Ultimate Authority (Self and/or Higher, jointly looking at it all together and objectively).

It is the "moment to moment" "LIVING of The Life" that counts. It The "Now" ~~ Eternally, The Now ~~ NOTHING we physically "do" to amass things for ourselves and for others 'counts'.....

You know the old adage about "It's the Thought" that counts?...... yeah. What was your big unspoken motivation for "doing" things....

Whether you live a life of ease, or a life full of present unyielding sorrow upon sorrow.... It "doesn't count" toward your 'advancing'....

Some people can get their TOTAL financial gig "performed" with PERFECTION. And at the end, have all they need for their material comforts, and have stuff to give their families extended.... But THAT doesn't 'count' unless the underlying eternal Moment of the Soul was 'correct'...

Some people can COMPLETELY give their Life over to Humanitarian Causes, and even give their Life-Body up to this nobility of thought and way of life..... But it doesn't COUNT. DOING isn't what counts.... It is the LOVE.... The deepest most PROFOUND, AND MOST SILENT DEEPEST Being and Love (stripped of 'endeavors') that will remain... and be judged... and be Reviewed like your 'Report Card' in the Soul's School of Life.

Scriptures used in the lyrics to this song is from a portion of the Book of Ecclesiastes.

(music) Turn Turn Turn / To Everything There Is A Season (The Byrds) lyrics [3:38]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bIBu2p8FR3o

(music) Windmills of Your Mind (PeterGrant) [3:02] http://www.youtube.com/watch?hl=en&feature=related&v=dLx83xXKmPA&gl=IL

(music) Love Song (Elton John, TumbleweedConnection) [3:37] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=14nD-QMjFvI

posted November 25, 2013 02:18 PM            

Devil's Food!!! YES!!!! Oh it's One of my FAVORITE indulgences in alllll the world!

YOU ARE SO PRECIOUS for Sharing your stash with me here!.... oh YUM! heh heh heh! ooooghhhhhh it's C A K E !!!!! ALL OVER my face!!

uhm,,,,, need milk? *guzzling down a cold class of ymmmy creamy MILK!* ahhhhhh....

posted November 25, 2013 03:27 PM            

I always find that book so sad.

I mean, the guy had it all, and in the end to leave everything in the hands of someone he had no faith in.

Ecclesiastes is just sad.

Bernie Taupin has a very real deep and abiding faith, he is very strong in that.

Have you ever heard this one?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mUMtS5nS-DA

Or this one?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ff47pKqxChI

posted November 26, 2013 11:07 AM            

Were you raised studying Astrology?

Or are you just a Natural?

posted November 26, 2013 04:28 PM            

Oh well.

It's just the ordinary everyday Penetrative Scorpionic Vision, then?

Well, you are amazingly good, either way, ha.

posted November 26, 2013 08:05 PM            

Do you ever use "The Name" to protect yourself?

Put it at the head of your bed.

Here is a video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eYUvxaorblo

I care about you as well.

posted November 27, 2013 01:01 AM            

quote:

---

I'm scared of the dark and often have a feeling that something's lurking in the dark, waiting to attack and engulf me.
Sometimes I get very anxious and feel like something's not right within me (like a bad spirit is controlling me, or trying to control me).
It gets bad especially when I go to bed. I get very scared and have to try to calm myself down by praying and visualizing Angels and White Light around me. It doesn't always work though and sometimes I spend hours feeling tense and anxious and unable to fall asleep because I'm too scared to close my eyes. Yeah... sounds messed up.
Scorpio-influenced people are usually very sensitive to the psychic world and are often "attacked" (sometimes subtly) by evil forces.
I've known a fair share of fellow Scorps who have some very spooky stories to tell.
I believe that's why most of us have a tormented side with lots of "inner demons"

---

I'm exactly the same and experience this during the day too but at night it's intensified. It isn't paranoia either. It's real. I pick up all sorts of enegies from people which why I don't like physical contact with strangers.I also had terrifying experience when I was sixteen when one afternoon I saw a mass of grey like particles taking the shape of a ball, half levitating in the air and come after me in the house! (I posted about it some years ago here).
There are things you can do to keep yourself protected but not much has helped for me. I can feel energies in homes and buildings. And often joked about being a human sponge (the best way to describe it). IQ once told me to try and learn how to tune in and out of this energy.You just need to learn know how to control it.