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Author Topic:   what do i do?
connectthedots
Newflake

Posts: 16
From: united states
Registered: Mar 2014

posted March 24, 2014 01:18 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for connectthedots     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I really need help with this. Okay long story short, i suffer from bipolar disorder, am on meds. I am super greatful that they work and i am not such a wreck as i am before. However, ido not feel like i have many people to discuss something that happened , this is unrelated to the bp just giving some background.

Last year in june , my boyfriend passed away of a drug overdose. In and of itself this is difficult. I miss him a lot sometimes but i do not have anyone i can talk to about it. Noone is clearly willing. I guess most people just think you know, i only got to date him for two months. Yea. It is a short time. But in short, i completely loved this guy. I don't know how i am supposed to tell this to ppl or even if i am. Its very.. most people wouldn't get it. In that time, i got to meet his family and felt accepted by them. I felt very happy about all this. Two days before he died, his mother was talking to us and she looked at both of us And said, well i like you two together, as a couple. It felt somehow validating. Like how it just very naturally occurred. Anyway. I loved this guy. It was the only time i had ever seriously thought about starting a family, and the thought got me excited. Man, its like i just want to talk about how awesome it felt to be in love..and i just miss him. I don't know. I've gotten, well you should be over it by now, and general insensitivity. And it burns. And i just need to let people know.


First, im having a great day. And I feel really good. Then i feel really bad. This can't be my disorder. I have that under control. So what gives..

My mom tells me, but youre doing soo much better than last year! Last year around February /march is when i had a terrible manic episode. Pretty bad. And she is right. I am doing better. Would I be going backwards if i told y'all that, i don't really care, i am doing BETTER compared to my 2013 self. But compared to other 23 year old s TODAY, i am doing ****** . I haven't had a job since 2011, haven't gone to school, not many friends, etc. I am happy my. Progress bu. I guess i just needed to vent. Sorry. Hugs to all who read this. I appreciate it sooo much. Thanks.

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Swift Freeze
Knowflake

Posts: 559
From: One World
Registered: Nov 2009

posted March 24, 2014 06:14 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Swift Freeze     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I would encourage you to speak to a counsellor or therapist to help you deal with those events in your life. They will be someone to talk to, as well as someone equipped and capable of dealing with it. It may be that his family and your family are not emotionally strong enough to deal with everything going on and offer you the support you need.

------------------
Learn lots. Don't judge. Laugh for no reason. Be nice. Seek Happiness. Follow your dreams.

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Violets
Moderator

Posts: 2915
From: Twin Peaks
Registered: Apr 2011

posted March 24, 2014 12:52 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Violets     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Swift Freeze:
I would encourage you to speak to a counsellor or therapist to help you deal with those events in your life. They will be someone to talk to, as well as someone equipped and capable of dealing with it. It may be that his family and your family are not emotionally strong enough to deal with everything going on and offer you the support you need.


I agree with this. You can also find support groups where people might understand how you feel. Al Anon might be a good place to start, or grief and loss therapy groups (some are free, and Al Anon is always free).

I had a very dear friend who was also bipolar, and addicted to drugs. He passed away two days after Christmas a couple of years ago, and his birthday was about a week ago.
He was a good friend, and married to one of my best friends for many years, when we were close to your age.
I miss him still today.
It's okay to still feel grief, and you will find people here who will not only be willing to listen to you, but who might understand how you're feeling.

I would encourage you to post in Sweet Peas in the Rain here if you want to talk in depth about painful stuff. A lot of us open up there about things we probably wouldn't otherwise talk about. But face-to-face human contact with someone who won't dismiss your feelings is probably what you need the most right now.

Here is a link to the other forum.


http://www.linda-goodman.com/cgi-bin/u bb/forumdisplay.cgi?action=topics&forum=Sweet+Peas+In+The+Rain&number=27&DaysPrune=1000&LastLogin=


Here is another link to an online support forum for friends and family of people addicted to substances.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/

Scroll down, and you will find the "Friends and Family" forum, and if you scroll down further you will find a few forums for mental health issues and another one for Grief and Loss.

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Violets
Moderator

Posts: 2915
From: Twin Peaks
Registered: Apr 2011

posted March 24, 2014 12:58 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Violets     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Also, I think that it's perfectly understandable that you're still feeling the loss of someone you cared about, less than a year later. Those feelings don't just magically evaporate, and I think that you're doing exactly what you need to do. You're reaching out for help and trying to find other people to talk to about it, and you're not ignoring your feelings.

I'm very happy for you that you've got medications that are helping you with bipolar issues, because that's really important.

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connectthedots
Newflake

Posts: 16
From: united states
Registered: Mar 2014

posted March 24, 2014 10:10 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for connectthedots     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thanks. I forgot to mention, i do have a therapist. I'm not going to see him (he took time off) for the next two weeks so I posted here. Thanks for letting me know where I can post and stuff. Awesome! I dont speak to his family, nothing bad but I dont know, Im not sure how to approach it even though his mom told me, shewanted me tostill communicate and be a part of their lives. And I really want that. It's something. Thank you guys again so much!

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connectthedots
Newflake

Posts: 16
From: united states
Registered: Mar 2014

posted March 25, 2014 01:42 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for connectthedots     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I really like this forum. Its a wonderful place. Im glad I found it. Now i can rest easy, back to the grind. My very odd barely perciptible grind lol

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Violets
Moderator

Posts: 2915
From: Twin Peaks
Registered: Apr 2011

posted March 25, 2014 09:36 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Violets     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm glad that you like it here, and welcome!

Maybe it wouldn't be a terrible idea to try to engage with his parents? It seems to me that you would all share a bond with this, and it might help them and you as well?

You could always test the waters, and see how receptive they are to forming more of a connection? Maybe something simple like having coffee or something...

I'm not there of course, so I don't know if that would feel too awkward for you, but if you were able to really forge a friendship with them it could potentially bring a lot of healing for all of you.

Whatever you decide, I wish you the best of luck with it, and healing when you're ready for it. We all heal at our own pace.

I'm glad the links were helpful!

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connectthedots
Newflake

Posts: 16
From: united states
Registered: Mar 2014

posted March 25, 2014 08:18 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for connectthedots     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
The most awkward part about that violet would be asking my mom if she still has their phone number (lost my phone I had it saved on some time ago) but I might be able to bypass that through facebook. I really want this as you can see. I would love to talk to her..

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Lexxigramer
Moderator

Posts: 3683
From: The Etheric Realms...Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat...& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion!
Registered: Feb 2012

posted March 26, 2014 09:30 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lexxigramer     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Moving this to Sweet Peas.

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