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Author Topic:   where do you find courage, how ?
fiery_fish
Knowflake

Posts: 83
From: Seattle
Registered: Oct 2014

posted November 21, 2014 03:17 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for fiery_fish     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm in love, its been 15 months, she doesn't care, wants me to die.

Its terrible, I feel suicidal, I'm surrounded with people but I'm still alone.

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Vajra
Moderator

Posts: 489
From: Europe
Registered: Dec 2012

posted November 21, 2014 04:53 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Vajra     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I take it you're a Pisces with lots of fire, right? Am a crab with lots of fire so can relate, our emotions are sometimes much too violent to be healthy. As for your question: Real love does not make anyone feel suicidal even if one is rejected, because love is in itself a friendly and uplifting energy, so if genuinely in love, one would feel uplifted and grateful that the other person exists, is well and alive, and cherish that fact. And even draw energy from it. If someone's rejection is making you feel worthless and suicidal, the feeling is more likely to be obsession/infatuation, not love, or at least a blending of all these emotions.

The thing to do is to get to the root of why you are feeling both worthless and obsessed, and to take practical steps against it. Therapy of some form may be helpful, if you're able to find a good counsellor; but for many people, self-healing can also be accomplished through spirituality, or simply by making a firm decision to change one's life circumstances for the better, and confront reality rather than living in a dream.

As with any addiction (and obsession/infatuation is basically an addiction of the mind), you can only get rid of it by avoiding all contact with the drug for an extended time, through a phase of complete withdrawal. After the obsession phase is over and you have learned to stand firm within yourself, you will finally be able to see whether some form of love was actually buried beneath the obsessive feelings or not, and take it from there.

Hope this advice doesn't sound too harsh, it's my honest opinion on the matter, hard-won through experience. In other words, been there, done that and I assure you it's not worth it, obsessing over someone who does not (at the moment at least) want you. Best of luck!

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fiery_fish
Knowflake

Posts: 83
From: Seattle
Registered: Oct 2014

posted November 21, 2014 05:23 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for fiery_fish     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Vajra:
I take it you're a Pisces with lots of fire, right? Am a crab with lots of fire so can relate, our emotions are sometimes much too violent to be healthy. As for your question: Real love does not make anyone feel suicidal even if one is rejected, because love is in itself a friendly and uplifting energy, so if genuinely in love, one would feel uplifted and grateful that the other person exists, is well and alive, and cherish that fact. And even draw energy from it. If someone's rejection is making you feel worthless and suicidal, the feeling is more likely to be obsession/infatuation, not love, or at least a blending of all these emotions.

The thing to do is to get to the root of why you are feeling both worthless and obsessed, and to take practical steps against it. Therapy of some form may be helpful, if you're able to find a good counsellor; but for many people, self-healing can also be accomplished through spirituality, or simply by making a firm decision to change one's life circumstances for the better, and confront reality rather than living in a dream.

As with any addiction (and obsession/infatuation is basically an addiction of the mind), you can only get rid of it by avoiding all contact with the drug for an extended time, through a phase of complete withdrawal. After the obsession phase is over and you have learned to stand firm within yourself, you will finally be able to see whether some form of love was actually buried beneath the obsessive feelings or not, and take it from there.

Hope this advice doesn't sound too harsh, it's my honest opinion on the matter, hard-won through experience. In other words, been there, done that and I assure you it's not worth it, obsessing over someone who does not (at the moment at least) want you. Best of luck!



Yes, you are right. I'm a Pisces sun, Aries moon, which in itself is sorta unfortunate.

I tried to withdraw, and I withdrew for 4 months, but she won't leave my thoughts, every day, every night..rejection does hurt.

So I'm not sure if its just infatuation, I genuinely love her. And being an Aries mmoom I'm just no used to quitting, or giving up. I'm a winner.

I'll withdraw for another time and swim down my ocean, but that might destroy me for an extended period of time, where I lose interest in people, work, life in general. I know I won't die from it, but it will take along long time to recover.

My heart tells me to keep trying even if it cost you the world.

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Vajra
Moderator

Posts: 489
From: Europe
Registered: Dec 2012

posted November 21, 2014 07:39 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Vajra     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi fellow Aries Moon I know about that "I'm not quitting" thing all too well… but you know, you can only influence your own affairs, but cannot make another person's decisions for them. It helps to simply accept that fact, and not waste energy on wishing things were otherwise. Maybe, if you can let her go in a loving way, and show her you can continue to exist without her, she will finally appreciate you some more. Happened to me that way with a Scorp guy. Us Aries Moons need to combat the urge to chase someone who's withdrawing, it's only driving them further away.

And please, take seriously what I said about searching for the internal cause of those feelings of worthlessness and obsession. There's something within you that needs healing, which cannot come through external means, or through another person. When you've healed that part within yourself, not only will you be able to love more fully and more truly; you will also be able to make a love relationship last even in a rough patch, rather than let it blow up because of hurt feelings, ego trips, and the like. Use the time alone to heal, to get to know yourself, accept and even love yourself, and to reflect on what you would ideally want in a partner. When you do that kind of work on yourself, the universe will answer your requests, and send you what you genuinely need.

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Randall
Webmaster

Posts: 47087
From: Saturn next to Charmainec
Registered: Apr 2009

posted November 30, 2014 08:47 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

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