Posts: 794
From:
Registered: Nov 2015

posted October 04, 2020 08:06 PM            

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I have this weird situation that I am going through and need to get It out of my system.
Few years ago I moved to this place in the world and I was happy.
I lived my life in a weird way, looking back I realized that I was stupid and naive. I realized that my friends and family manipulated me the whole time and they were hating on me.
I don’t want to get into details I just had a tough year. My life got paused and it forced me to think about things in my life.
I just feel disconnected.
The place I live in keeps getting more and more toxic. I cannot feel happy anymore.
I cut most contact with family.
I cut contact with my best friend.
All of them told me they love me but they were lying.
The friend was envious of everything I had and she was just waiting to see me fail when I did not she showed her true colors.
The family member knows me very well she studied psychology in college and she knows my vulnerabilities and I realized now after Decades years of being siblings that she was the one who is trying to destroy my happiness. Everytime I get a tiny bit of success or happiness she just say things that she knew would send me to a panic mode. I thought she loved me as a family and now to be honest I don’t know if I can trust a woman again.
Realizing this truth about this family member was heartbreaking and was the last straw. I have severe trust issues now. If I meet the perfect partner now and they tell me they love me I wont believe them I wont even be able to love them back.
My saturn in aquarius in 11th house and I know how saturn return can shake up everything.
I don’t even know what to do anymore. Its like I cannot trust any human being. And I wont be able to trust anyone. I feel disconnected from everything. I am trying to keep being positive because whenver I am in a dark mood I do attract problems in my life.
I don’t know if its saturn return.

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Posts: 132249
From: From a galaxy, far, far away...
Registered: Apr 2009

posted October 05, 2020 12:41 PM            

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Moving this to Sweet Peas In The Rain.

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