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Author
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Topic: What we’ve been getting wrong about choosing gifts
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Voix_de_la_Mer
Moderator Posts: 3215
From: Sound
Registered: Aug 2011
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posted December 03, 2020 04:15 AM
  
quote:
hundreds of people surveyed online said that when buying gifts, they prefer to choose an item or experience that reflects the personality and interests of the person they are giving to. Similarly, people mostly said that they preferred receiving gifts that were tailored to their tastes and personality. Other survey participants were asked to recall recent gift-giving and receiving experiences, and in line with the findings for preferences, they said that, yes, they mostly gave and received gifts that were recipient-centric.However, contrary to this received wisdom, Aknin and Human reasoned that giving a gift that reveals something of your own true self could be more effective at increasing relationship closeness because it’s an act of personal disclosure.
http://digest.bps.org.uk/2015/07/31/what-weve-been-getting-wrong-about-choosing-gifts/
- I thought this was pretty interesting and I can agree with it. One of the best gifts I received from my grandparents at Christmas was a book of their life (blank) I had given them the year before for them to fill in 'The Grandparents Book'. They completed it with information about their lives and relationship and gave it to me the following Christmas. It was definitely one of the best gifts I have ever received, I still go back and read it from time to time.
Anyway, I thought this article might be handy considering the time of year and maybe help us all consider other types of gifts for our loved ones (or that one who is a nightmare to buy for - we all have one!) ------------------
Face a situation fearlessly, and there is no situation to face
~ Florence Scovel Shinn ~ IP: Logged |
vansio
Knowflake Posts: 1513
From: the outskirts of Delphi
Registered: Dec 2017
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posted December 03, 2020 06:59 AM
lovely information. thanks for sharing. IP: Logged |
Chanterelle
Knowflake Posts: 297
From: USA
Registered: Sep 2020
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posted December 03, 2020 07:36 AM
That makes so much sense. My cousin’s fiancée, whom I’ve never met in person, had an online bridal shower recently, and choosing a gift off their registry was such an uncomfortable experience. Then later I got a chance to say, “Hey, I heard you like crystals, now I’m excited to have a reason to go rock shopping”... so much better! IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 136018
From: Your Friendly Neighborhood Juris Doctorate.
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted December 03, 2020 03:49 PM
Good stuff!IP: Logged |
Voix_de_la_Mer
Moderator Posts: 3215
From: Sound
Registered: Aug 2011
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posted December 03, 2020 04:18 PM
Yeah, it was a lightbulb moment when I read it  I was always one for buying people things related to their personality and likes and I thought that was doing good, by staying away from the generic, however, this study chimes exactly with something that happened at Christmas last year. I got my partner various things related to stuff he liked, in addition I got him an item that I could tailor-make to express my feelings on (was carved). When asked what his favourite was, he said the carved one. It was the cheapest in price, but highest in value to him because I guess I revealed my feelings 
IP: Logged |
mirage29
Knowflake Posts: 14122
From: us
Registered: May 2012
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posted December 04, 2020 07:14 PM
Interesting. I loved the idea you did with your Grandparents!! 
That will be a Family Treasure that will last for generations. You could store it electronically and if you have one of those 'ancestry'-type family-tree products your family shares, you could leave the url to their 'story' under their names. IP: Logged |
Dumuzi
Knowflake Posts: 2902
From:
Registered: Oct 2018
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posted December 04, 2020 07:53 PM
depends on my relationship with someone how i give gifts, if it's intimate then generally i go for something that i know they'll like and is reminiscent of them but also more sentimental or reminiscent of some memory shared IP: Logged |
Voix_de_la_Mer
Moderator Posts: 3215
From: Sound
Registered: Aug 2011
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posted December 06, 2020 03:50 AM
That's a great idea Mirage!Dumuzi, yes, gifts that hold a memory or mark a point in time that was shared are great and I can see that these would also be bonding. ------------------
Face a situation fearlessly, and there is no situation to face
~ Florence Scovel Shinn ~ IP: Logged |
DualGemV2
Knowflake Posts: 895
From: Toronto, Ontario
Registered: Aug 2016
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posted December 06, 2020 09:20 AM
Reminds me alot of my Virgo-Leo aunt.Every christmas she'll pick up fresh locally picked fruits or pick it herself and make perserves then give it to family. We still have a bottle she gave us and its normally good for about a year sometimes longer. In a way she's sharing herself and simple frugality but at the same it..there is a bit of care that has to go into it. My Planets
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☉‘ ♊, ☽ ♈, ASC ♑, ☿ ♊, ˇ÷ ♉, ˇö ♋ , ♃ ♒, ♄ ♏, ♅ ♐, ♆ ♑ IP: Logged |
teasel
Knowflake Posts: 16895
From: http://forum.astro.com/cgi/forum.cgi?action=viewprofile;username=u36170365
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted December 06, 2020 09:31 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Voix_de_la_Mer:
Yeah, it was a lightbulb moment when I read it I was always one for buying people things related to their personality and likes and I thought that was doing good, by staying away from the generic, however, this study chimes exactly with something that happened at Christmas last year. I got my partner various things related to stuff he liked, in addition I got him an item that I could tailor-make to express my feelings on (was carved). When asked what his favourite was, he said the carved one. It was the cheapest in price, but highest in value to him because I guess I revealed my feelings
This reminds me of the guy I mentioned. I sent him a book, and he thanked me when it showed up, but he was happier over a handwritten card that I sent before that - he said that he would keep it on his desk. I don’t know what to get my dad. He will take things back, and would prefer that I don’t spend money on him. Or much money. IP: Logged |
Voix_de_la_Mer
Moderator Posts: 3215
From: Sound
Registered: Aug 2011
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posted December 07, 2020 04:15 AM
quote:
Originally posted by DualGemV2:
Reminds me alot of my Virgo-Leo aunt.Every christmas she'll pick up fresh locally picked fruits or pick it herself and make perserves then give it to family. We still have a bottle she gave us and its normally good for about a year sometimes longer. In a way she's sharing herself and simple frugality but at the same it..there is a bit of care that has to go into it. My Planets
=========================================
☉‘ ♊, ☽ ♈, ASC ♑, ☿ ♊, ˇ÷ ♉, ˇö ♋ , ♃ ♒, ♄ ♏, ♅ ♐, ♆ ♑
Aw I love this, that's a great idea for presents. I always think that a lot of positive energy can come from food when someone has spent time creating it. You have reminded me of my nana's yearly bramble jam making. She's too old to do it now, but used to tell the story of when she took me bramble-picking with her when I was a toddler. Apparently the jam yield was low that year as it was 'one for the jam, one for me, one for the jam, one for me...'  (still a berry-lover!) IP: Logged |
Voix_de_la_Mer
Moderator Posts: 3215
From: Sound
Registered: Aug 2011
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posted December 07, 2020 04:18 AM
quote:
Originally posted by teasel:
This reminds me of the guy I mentioned. I sent him a book, and he thanked me when it showed up, but he was happier over a handwritten card that I sent before that - he said that he would keep it on his desk. I don’t know what to get my dad. He will take things back, and would prefer that I don’t spend money on him. Or much money.
Yeah, I guess the card would have revealed more of how you felt and your appreciation of the friendship/relationship. My Grampa always says the same as your dad, but there are a couple of things he won't refuse (food being one of them - Taurus Sun!). Would he maybe appreciate a big hamper or something like that? IP: Logged |
Chanterelle
Knowflake Posts: 297
From: USA
Registered: Sep 2020
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posted December 15, 2020 05:46 AM
Okay, I’m not typically one to plug merchandise of any kind, but I just found a gift so perfect I had to buy two— one for myself, and I haven’t even made up my mind who to give the other one to. Now that I think harder, maybe my brother and his wife who are expecting a baby in January. It’s this poster-sized solar/lunar calendar wheel with space to fill in one line a day— a friend showed me hers for this year, not a single line blank, and I thought “maybe I can do this for real” — I managed to keep a weekly-ish journal for about 6 months this time around, and I’m glad I’ve at least got that much to reflect on. http://www.etsy.com/listing/889143297/2021-lunar-solar-calendar-wheel-poster?ref=shop_home_active_1&frs=1&crt=1&variation0=1583884450 IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 136018
From: Your Friendly Neighborhood Juris Doctorate.
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted December 27, 2020 02:33 PM
Bump!IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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