posted July 19, 2009 05:44 PM         

1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window (on an airplane!)

2. I got a call from a candidate's staffer, who wanted to go to
Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the
passport information, and then she interrupted me with, "I'm not
trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts."
Without trying to make you look stupid," I calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa." Her response - click.

3. A senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida
package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando.
He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain
that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He
replied, don't lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a very
thin state!" (OMG)

4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife who asked, "Is it possible
to see England from Canada?" I said, "No." She said, "But they look
so close on the map." (OMG, again!)

5. An aide for a cabinet member once called and asked if he could
rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he
had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted
to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we
will need a car to drive between gates to save time." (Aghhh)

6. An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m.,
and got to Chicago at 8:33 a.m. I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she couldn't understand the concept of time
zones. Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.

7. A New York lawmaker called and asked. "Do airlines put your
physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?" I said, "No, why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that's very rude. After putting
her on hold for a minute, while I looked into it (I was dying laughing),
I came back and explained the city code for Fresno, CA is "FAT" (Fresno Air Terminal) and the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.

8. A Senator's aide called to inquire about a trip package to
Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be
cheaper to fly to California, and then take the train to Hawaii?"

9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who asked, "How do I know which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them.

10. A lady Senator called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola,
Florida. Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?" I
asked if she meant fly to Pensacola, FL on a commuter plane. She
said, "Yeah, whatever, smarty!"

11. A senior Senator called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him that he needed a visa. "Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those." I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times, and every time they have accepted my American Express!"

12. A New Mexico Congresswoman called to make reservations. "I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York." I was at a loss for
words. Finally, I said, "Are you sure that's the name of the town?"
"Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the lady. After some
searching, I came back with, "I'm sorry ma'am. I've looked up every
airport code in the country and can't find a Rhino anywhere." "The
lady retorted, "Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is.
Check your map." So I scoured a map of the state of New York and
finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?" The reply?
"Whatever! I knew it was a big animal."

Now you know why the Government is in the shape that it's in! Could
anyone be this DUMB?