posted November 21, 2010 07:11 PM              

you bake and open the window and start clattering pans and things.. then, they'll come a-runnin.. they can hear a henkels knife clinking with other utensils a mile away..

once u get them in though, u have to pretend that ur fake injured.. trip over your foot or something (MAKE SURE THEY SEE!) and make sure to use lots of 'ows', *bonus* and boner if you pout!

once you've been bandaged up by them and they've spoon fed you what you've baked (to get you all better) you offer to pay them some money (chances are they won't decline) and then you thank them for all their time and how it was greatly appreciated.

then, you whine and get depressed because you say their company was so great and you're afraid that you'll never see them again so that they feel pity.

cancer's are big on guilt, gets em every time! once you've covered everything and have handled your basics, you let them go home with some of your tupperware and escort them out maybe even going so far as telling them you never want to see them again..

cancer's are intuitive.. they'll understand that you're only saying that because of the pain.. from there on out, they'll cling to that tupperware for dear life and store it in a box or possibly even bring it back to you but just to see you again..

if they give you the tupperware, you have to give them something back..

it's the only way they feel they haven't let you down because in a way, they've never left you.. it gives them a sense of continuity..

keep that game up for a little bit and soon enough, the cancer will be clawed to your foot as you scurry all throughout the house on cleaning day because they're afraid of you leaving them.

then, and only then, will you realize the sh(t that you've gotten yourself into and there won't be a day where if you try to break up with them, that it will be forgotten.

if they have a lot of capricorn, they're gonna leave your house and take all of your shoes, your pans will have gone missing, your clothes may be destroyed, they run off with your daily valuables and keep em hostage..

your phone won't stop ringing..

they'll call and call and call only to tell you that they hate you and that they need some final things handled but they'll never be handled because there'll always be more.

and once there is no more, they'll break down again and ask you why before telling you that they hate you again but some may even take you back only to get back at you a bit later by leaving you because of you leaving them.

some of this can be used to also attract a libra but we'll delve into that a bit later.

and remember, nothing posted after this by any of them will be true.

posted January 06, 2011 01:54 PM            

Strangely I get someone after me when i don't make an afford to attract someone.

Well, dress nicely makes some difference.

So i've been asked out on a date by a cancer man. And that came totally out of the blue.

posted January 06, 2011 02:09 PM            

That was kinda true to form of my last relationship. Spot on about the calling and calling and hating and getting back etc.

Hilarious.

posted January 06, 2011 02:55 PM            

B. I get nervous already for a date. Uhhh, we're just friends and get no ideas.

C. I met him this summer on my painting holiday. He hardly spoke a word.
then i saw him a again on the reunion in octobre. He spoke a little more.
And then suddenly he asked me out in decembre. What was going on in his head?
i totally forgot about him. Shy person? well bull, now he isn't actng so shy anymore.