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Author Topic:   Sexual Ethics & Double Standards
PlutoSquared
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Posts: 3475
From: Mars
Registered: Aug 2010

posted November 20, 2010 04:36 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for PlutoSquared     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Do you guys have double standards regarding sexual issues? Is it ok for you to do something, but not another? Or, do you feel it's ok for someone else, but never for you?

How about the unspoken sexual ethics we have in our society? Do you feel sexual ethics are important? How so? Are these sexual ethics there for everyone? Or, should we just lump all "ethics" and disregard them all together?

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Randall
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Posts: 6734
From: The Goober Galaxy
Registered: Apr 2009

posted November 20, 2010 04:55 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
A lot of guys are all about the double standards (oral comes to mind). Some girls are the same way. Most people are selfish by nature. Sex is reflective of other aspects in our lives. Most people are takers. Givers are in the minority. Can two takers last? Probably not for long. Is the ideal relationship between a taker and a giver? That's the most common dynamic--but how long does that last? Two givers might be perfection...or they might compete with each other and be unhappy...unless each can also learn to receive and sometimes graciously become a taker.

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ghanima81
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Posts: 584
From: Maine
Registered: Apr 2009

posted November 20, 2010 05:09 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ghanima81     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I think you're right, most people, by nature are selfish. I think when you find a person that you can be a little selfish with, but whom you also want to DO for, and they are in turn the same, that is quite ideal. We learn from each relationship and experience in our lives. Two takers (and I've been there) obviously cannot survive, Generally, two takers are young or simply niave in relationships and cannot really learn from each other so long as they perpetuate the selfish tendencies. I think you need to experience a giver, to know what it truly is to recieve, as you said Randall, graciously. This feeling makes you WANT to give back, thus you learn a new way to be, one that is much better for the psyche.

I do know plenty of couples where one is clearly the dominant (and most are actually women) but there is a sadness in the giver's eyes, because although they give and give, they never get the appreciation they crave. I suppose it is their own fault really though, and eventually leave to find their own gracious giver, since they have learned what is is to "give til it hurts".

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NickiG
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Posts: 3112
From: Pluto, next to Ami Ann
Registered: Jul 2010

posted November 20, 2010 05:16 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for NickiG     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
if two givers compete...doesnt that make them selfish?

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the better the chase, the better the reward

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Randall
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From: The Goober Galaxy
Registered: Apr 2009

posted November 20, 2010 05:23 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I never looked at it that way. I will have to think about that, Nicki. What Ghani said.

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NickiG
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Posts: 3112
From: Pluto, next to Ami Ann
Registered: Jul 2010

posted November 20, 2010 05:37 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for NickiG     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Ghani or Ghandi?

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the better the chase, the better the reward

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MoonWitch
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Posts: 543
From: The Beach
Registered: Apr 2009

posted November 20, 2010 05:47 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MoonWitch     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
My ex husband had multiple double standards. He wanted an open relationship where he would sleep with whomever he wanted whole I stayed home and remained faithful to him exclusively.

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Ami Anne
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Posts: 7205
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted November 20, 2010 05:48 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Randall
That was such a well thought out post about givers and takers.
Your Pluto must have channeled it

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Pluto conjunct Dejanira, Girlfriend.

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PlutoSquared
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Posts: 3475
From: Mars
Registered: Aug 2010

posted November 20, 2010 06:20 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for PlutoSquared     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Moonwitch,

I'm glad you brought up this topic, because it's something I see more and more...

Men who marry stable women, expect her to be the breadwinner, lavish them (the men) with attention and gifts, and in return they provide sexual favor... but the MEN ALSO... have many lovers on the side.

This would be different than an "open relationship" in ways, because the Man EXPECTS that his "base wife" stays at home and does not have any other sexual relationships, except for him.

The appearance of a traditional marriage is just the cherry on the top!

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charmainec
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Posts: 2032
From: on the other side of the rainbow
Registered: Apr 2009

posted March 17, 2011 08:21 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for charmainec     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

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