posted November 27, 2010 02:31 AM         

Should a victim be blamed for inciting the abuse because, well, 'Like attracts like'??

The answer is not on the level of the physical. This ain't Kansas where you punch someone and they punch you back and voila! That's what Newton said.

We, and I include myself, have unconsciously played a victim because we have been unable to break ourselves from our emotional molds and because we consider change a detriment to security.

We don't attract psychopaths/abusers/weirdos/jerks etc. because we want them. We end up with them because their 'lies' make us feel good about ourselves. We hate to walk away from them because we are scared of being alone with the ugliness that we consider ourselves to be.

Whatever the reason for us losing our self-respect, it allows a leverage to the abusers from where they can manipulate us.

So yes, it is us who allow the abuse to fester and rot ourselves from within. But it is there for a reason: to let us know that we need to fix ourselves up, we need to heal our fractured selves.

We cannot change the abuser and any attempt at it is foolhardy from the start. But we can change our perception of ourselves as 'lacking' in something, of not being 'good enough' to deserve better when better is what we want.

We are all beautiful. We are all whole.

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अस्तो मा सद् गमय |
तमसो मा ज्योतिर्गमय |
मृत्योन् मा अमृतं गमय् ||
ॐ शांति शांति शांति

posted November 27, 2010 07:46 PM         

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अस्तो मा सद् गमय |
तमसो मा ज्योतिर्गमय |
मृत्योन् मा अमृतं गमय् ||
ॐ शांति शांति शांति