True Confessions - Lindaland

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Author	Topic: True Confessions
Ami Anne Moderator Posts: 10797 From: Pluto/house next to NickiG Registered: Sep 2010	posted May 18, 2011 08:09 AM I have the nerve to do this cuz my friend said I was NOT and she knows cuz she studied it . I have been afraid since I was 14 that I was a sociopath. I will tell you why now that she assures me she will bet her LIFE that I am not lol ------------------ ‎"Enlightenment doesn't result from sitting around visualizing images of light, but from integrating the darker aspects of the self into the conscious personality Jung He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city Proverbs IP: Logged
Ami Anne Moderator Posts: 10797 From: Pluto/house next to NickiG Registered: Sep 2010	posted May 18, 2011 08:12 AM I was a normal kid before 14 .I had phobias but they did not intrude on my life much. I had a sense of self,friends,was starting to go to parties,skating,normal kid things. At 14,I became numb,as I share here,often. When I became numb, I felt like I was in a permanent novacaine state from which i could never escape ------------------ ‎"Enlightenment doesn't result from sitting around visualizing images of light, but from integrating the darker aspects of the self into the conscious personality Jung He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city Proverbs IP: Logged
Ami Anne Moderator Posts: 10797 From: Pluto/house next to NickiG Registered: Sep 2010	posted May 18, 2011 08:19 AM From 14 on,I was not "there". Prior to this I had friendships in which I felt present. I felt present in life and present to my own emotions and thoughts I am gonna have to write this slowly cuz my false self wants to lie and make myself look good ------------------ ‎"Enlightenment doesn't result from sitting around visualizing images of light, but from integrating the darker aspects of the self into the conscious personality Jung He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city Proverbs IP: Logged
Ami Anne Moderator Posts: 10797 From: Pluto/house next to NickiG Registered: Sep 2010	posted May 18, 2011 08:21 AM Anyone can share about their own true confessions in the meantime or on anything I wrote so far if you care to. ------------------ ‎"Enlightenment doesn't result from sitting around visualizing images of light, but from integrating the darker aspects of the self into the conscious personality Jung He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city Proverbs IP: Logged
Mblake81 Knowflake Posts: 1437 From: Registered: Aug 2010	posted May 18, 2011 11:08 AM The real self, the false self. Mano-a-Mano. *Mano-a-mano is a Spanish construction meaning "hand to hand". It was used originally for bullfights where two matadors alternate competing for the admiration of the audience. Current Spanish usage describes any kind of competition between two people where they both compete trying to outdo each other or, conversely, a cooperative effort between two parties. IP: Logged
abcd efg Knowflake Posts: 445 From: India Registered: Mar 2011	posted May 18, 2011 11:35 AM OK. Getting it. Need not go in minor details. This is your very personal experience and this is a public forum remember? (Ofcourse this is only my opinion, if u feel its OK ignore me pl). Anyways, pl carry on with it...listening. IP: Logged
Ami Anne Moderator Posts: 10797 From: Pluto/house next to NickiG Registered: Sep 2010	posted May 18, 2011 11:54 AM Well, I suppose I tell my story cuz I believe we are only as sick as the secrets we keep. There has never been a time when I have talked about my past that someone has not said"Thank you" in some form. "Thank you for saying what I could not." I must be destined for this with an 8th house Gemini stellium ------------------ ‎"Enlightenment doesn't result from sitting around visualizing images of light, but from integrating the darker aspects of the self into the conscious personality Jung He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city Proverbs IP: Logged
lechien Knowflake Posts: 1004 From: my 30 cubic square meter room with a rat! Registered: May 2009	posted May 18, 2011 12:49 PM Ami, funny, i kind of took a similar path after i turned 14. about friends. i didn't think i was sociopath, but i thought something was wrong with me. i had no way to judge. glad those days are over! IP: Logged
Ami Anne Moderator Posts: 10797 From: Pluto/house next to NickiG Registered: Sep 2010	posted May 18, 2011 06:29 PM Yes Lechien We have to make sense of a crazy mother so have to put the craziness on ourselves where it seems more understandable. However,then it sticks like Crazy Glue ------------------ ‎"Enlightenment doesn't result from sitting around visualizing images of light, but from integrating the darker aspects of the self into the conscious personality Jung He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city Proverbs IP: Logged
Ami Anne Moderator Posts: 10797 From: Pluto/house next to NickiG Registered: Sep 2010	posted May 18, 2011 07:53 PM Have not come back to confess where I buried the body ------------------ ‎"Enlightenment doesn't result from sitting around visualizing images of light, but from integrating the darker aspects of the self into the conscious personality Jung He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city Proverbs IP: Logged
abcd efg Knowflake Posts: 445 From: India Registered: Mar 2011	posted May 19, 2011 04:46 AM Take Your Time. IP: Logged
Mblake81 Knowflake Posts: 1437 From: Registered: Aug 2010	posted May 19, 2011 08:18 AM I should be more positive and give more than I already do to the people that matter to me. Life can get confusing to me. I should appreciate what I have right now because I may not have it later, The problem is I realize that but can not make myself believe it until it happens. The thought of being a day late and a dollar short with myself comes to mind. Im happy that me and Ami Anne reconciled, It was bothering me. IP: Logged
mochai Knowflake Posts: 854 From: Charon Registered: Sep 2010	posted May 26, 2011 11:37 AM Mblake, I know I've gotten ****** off at you before, but I'm glad you're such a cool person. Just reading your posts here made me think that. Thanks for what you contribute here. Ami, the worst times in my life I felt like I shut down to all feeling. I'm sorry you suffered that way. IP: Logged
Ami Anne Moderator Posts: 10797 From: Pluto/house next to NickiG Registered: Sep 2010	posted May 26, 2011 12:59 PM quote: Originally posted by Mblake81: I should be more positive and give more than I already do to the people that matter to me. Life can get confusing to me. I should appreciate what I have right now because I may not have it later, The problem is I realize that but can not make myself believe it until it happens. The thought of being a day late and a dollar short with myself comes to mind. Im happy that me and Ami Anne reconciled, It was bothering me. Awwww Mblake What a warm fuzzy I needed it,today Thank you Darling IP: Logged
Ami Anne Moderator Posts: 10797 From: Pluto/house next to NickiG Registered: Sep 2010	posted May 26, 2011 01:14 PM You know,after I wrote this and told you all about it,I started healing. We are only as sick as the secrets we keep. IQ wrote me a beautiful message on how I could not be a sociopath. I realized that I could NOT. I hate to hurt people's feelings cuz I know what it feels like to hurt and be embarrassed. Sociopaths do not have this kind of empathy. I can detach from my emotions as IQ says he can.This is a pulling back from your emotions and getting in to a clear thinking space. I have a lot of air and can do this. Later,I cry if I am hurt but for the moment I can be uber rational lol I thought this made me a sociopath. If I had been afraid to share it,I never would have healed it. It seems silly now,in retrospect. That is what happens with secrets ------------------ ‎"Enlightenment doesn't result from sitting around visualizing images of light, but from integrating the darker aspects of the self into the conscious personality Jung He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city Proverbs IP: Logged
sunshine9 Moderator Posts: 240 From: Durham, NC, US Registered: Apr 2009	posted May 26, 2011 04:18 PM quote: Originally posted by Ami Anne: At 14,I became numb,as I share here,often. When I became numb, I felt like I was in a permanent novacaine state from which i could never escape Awww.. ((((((Ami Anne)))))) Sunshine IP: Logged
SunChild Moderator Posts: 2360 From: Australia Registered: Apr 2009	posted May 26, 2011 07:08 PM Ami Last night I wanted to text my Mum, F**K You. I really just wanted to show my anger, (hurt) but I was so angry that she doesn't want to be a part of my life, or any of her children, and she is missing out on her grandchildren being born, all 3 of them, and not passing on the normal mother-grandmother help, support, wisdom at this time in my life, I feel like hating her for it. It's taking every bit of courage I have to truly understand her situation and not entirely blame her and see the bigger picture, no matter how twisted it looks. I have dreams that she attacks me and I just stand there and take it because I refuse to hurt her. I'll tell her the truth but I wont intentionally hurt her or be vindictive, but last night I came close cos I was feeling emotional. But then this morning I was glad I didn't do it. It's so unlike me to want to be that crass, but I saw no way out and just wanted the last word. IP: Logged
Ami Anne Moderator Posts: 10797 From: Pluto/house next to NickiG Registered: Sep 2010	posted May 26, 2011 08:48 PM Thank you SunChild,Lechien ,Sunshine and Mblake I felt so happy when I looked at this thread. I didn't feel SO alone. I have been feeling alone. I feel so guilty for my feelings when I HATE someone who has abused me but I love them too. I want to touch base.That means touch who I am and what I feel. All this guilt. Your mother put you in braces and contacts. You are so ungrateful you were not on the street. Well, what if she stole my soul? Where does that fit in????? HUH??? My Aunt knows what she feels and what she thinks. Does that make you a person? I think it does. Guilt is like a creeping moss.It creeps and it takes you until it squeezes you in it's grasp. Yes, you gave me life. You gave me a home but what does that mean I must give you back? My blood running from my body until I am nothing. ------------------ ‎"Enlightenment doesn't result from sitting around visualizing images of light, but from integrating the darker aspects of the self into the conscious personality Jung He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city Proverbs IP: Logged
saronna Knowflake Posts: 325 From: Australia Registered: Jan 2010	posted May 26, 2011 10:00 PM you are not alone Ami Anne. Hugs IP: Logged
Ami Anne Moderator Posts: 10797 From: Pluto/house next to NickiG Registered: Sep 2010	posted May 27, 2011 07:44 AM Saronna Thank you for the MANY kind things you say to me. You seem to be like a little angel.When I need a kind touch you seem to pop up with a warm and loving post.Thank you!!! ------------------ ‎"Enlightenment doesn't result from sitting around visualizing images of light, but from integrating the darker aspects of the self into the conscious personality Jung He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city Proverbs IP: Logged
tenny22 Newflake Posts: 21 From: USA Registered: May 2011	posted May 30, 2011 09:22 PM And your posting helps others to take that step towards healing as well... IP: Logged
Ami Anne Moderator Posts: 10797 From: Pluto/house next to NickiG Registered: Sep 2010	posted May 30, 2011 10:02 PM quote: Originally posted by tenny22: And your posting helps others to take that step towards healing as well... ------------------ Enlightenment doesn't result from sitting around visualizing images of light, but from integrating the darker aspects of the self into the conscious personality Jung You must lose your life for My sake in order to find it . Jesus He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city Proverbs IP: Logged
northernlad Knowflake Posts: 138 From: Registered: Feb 2011	posted May 30, 2011 10:40 PM quote: Originally posted by Ami Anne: It's true because if I hadn't seen what you've posted I would have never made my own thread. IP: Logged
Ami Anne Moderator Posts: 10797 From: Pluto/house next to NickiG Registered: Sep 2010	posted May 30, 2011 10:50 PM quote: Originally posted by northernlad: It's true because if I hadn't seen what you've posted I would have never made my own thread. I am on my way to bed Northern Lad but I want to thank you for writing this. I feel I gave something to someone and that makes me feel like I matter. Thank you ------------------ Enlightenment doesn't result from sitting around visualizing images of light, but from integrating the darker aspects of the self into the conscious personality Jung You must lose your life for My sake in order to find it . Jesus He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city Proverbs IP: Logged
abcd efg Knowflake Posts: 445 From: India Registered: Mar 2011	posted May 31, 2011 12:39 PM For All! IP: Logged

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