posted May 29, 2011 10:11 PM            

I build myself up constantly. I come across as very confident but I'm mostly not. I use humor to try and deal with things, but sometimes I just don't even want to laugh.

I take my emotions, and instead of FEELING them, I file them away under which defense mechanism I'd like to use to avoid dealing with them.

I can't really get close to anyone dealing with things like this. And I can't say I blame anyone for not wanting to go through the obstacle course trying to get to me.

posted May 29, 2011 11:31 PM            

If you want to get more out of life, then you have to give in the same respect - be charitable and gracious and experience the abundance come into your life.

If you want to succeed then double your failure rate - Yes! Fail, fail and fail again. Eventually you’ll get to where you were planning to get to.

If you are hungry, sing; if you are hurting, laugh!

If you feel like you’re losing that means you’re in the process of winning - remember a knock back is a one step back and two steps forward.

If you want to be rich, be incompetent - don’t work hard, work smart and employ pros to do the work for you.

If you want to be really rich, be lazy - learn from Richard Branson.

If you want to be appreciated - shut up! - there is a reason why you have two ears and one mouth.

Just remember that we are one big walking, talking, breathing paradoxes at all moments of our lives and as soon as we give it all up, we can surely have it all…

So remember this the next time your thoughts get the better of you, that life is merely an illusion and yes… life is a paradox.

posted May 30, 2011 12:23 AM            

I'll go more into what's swirling around in my head tomorrow. I tend to blurt out novels and I don't want to be up all night.

posted May 30, 2011 05:03 AM            

We want our men to be men. we don't want them to tell us they're stressed or hurting.
We want them to fight off intruders, bring home the bacon and shut up about it.
So what we would say in my neck of the woods is:
You are completely normal, keep calm, carry on.

But if you are from the north of Australia I would say "Man up you big girl"

If you are from the USA then I apologise profusely.

posted May 30, 2011 02:01 PM            

I'm also gay. And have a lot of Cancer in my chart. The notion of shut up and be a man about it doesn't hold a lot of water for me. People aren't black and white based on gender for me. I have a lot of friends who defy gender stereotypes and are very happy doing so.

That said, I think a part of me is stuck in trying to be a "man" about things. I started out a very happy, carefree child; but then **** happened and I began closing off parts of myself. I became quiet. I became emotionless on the outside, while there was all sorts of turmoil on the inside. I began to feel anxious when dealing with people. I'm still anxious about dealing with people. I was never taught that it's okay to emote, but that's exactly what I NEED to do.

posted May 30, 2011 04:36 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by northernlad:
Sorry to disappoint you, bunnies, but I'm American

I'm also gay. And have a lot of Cancer in my chart. The notion of shut up and be a man about it doesn't hold a lot of water for me. People aren't black and white based on gender for me. I have a lot of friends who defy gender stereotypes and are very happy doing so.

That said, I think a part of me is stuck in trying to be a "man" about things. I started out a very happy, carefree child; but then **** happened and I began closing off parts of myself. I became quiet. I became emotionless on the outside, while there was all sorts of turmoil on the inside. I began to feel anxious when dealing with people. I'm still anxious about dealing with people. I was never taught that it's okay to emote, but that's exactly what I NEED to do.

That's where I'm stuck. I can't sustain any relationships because when people get too close I have to cut them off. I can't feel love for others because I've cut off the ability to feel love at all.

---

posted May 30, 2011 09:22 PM            

I think I just had a breakthrough.

posted May 30, 2011 09:34 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by northernlad:
I go through this song and dance when I meet guys. I paint myself as this really confident, cold-hearted ***** who is just too cool for school. I say that I don't care what people think of me, but still make fun of myself a good deal. In reality, I'm anything but a cold-hearted ***** . I'm too nice for my own good. I think that's my favorite wall to deploy, because it's telling other people that there's no emotions here, so don't bother trying to connect with anything. And I'm sure people see through it. I think that I'm too caught up in what other people think of me, and if they don't like the facade I paint that's fine, because they're not rejecting ME, they're rejecting the illusion I put forth.

I think I just had a breakthrough.

(And, LEXX, I do have facebook. Is there a way to private message on here? I'm not too keen on posting my profile for everyone to see.)

---

Northernlad

posted May 30, 2011 09:44 PM            

I don't know how to stop doing what I'm doing, but at least I've identified that I'm doing it. It's a start, right?

posted May 31, 2011 03:29 AM            

It involves deciding how you think you can best survive, putting on that mask and setting forth.
Some people can maintain that facade for so long, that it does become them.
This is because it is not far removed from who they actually are, but with you this is not the case.
On your own admission this is the antithesis of who you are ,so of course it's going to crumble or cause you confusion.

The solution is to "man up" in a different way.
And that is to bravely throw yourself open.
You will get hurt. Inevitable.
You will survive. Indisputedly.
Most of us on here are living proof of that!

But you will be authentic and that will bring you happiness in a different way.

And please don't feel embarrassed about being American.
We all have our crosses...

And yes! It's just the British sense of humour.
I love my touchy, feely, awesome, love ya, hugs,American chums.
It's a refreshing change sometimes from the northern
"Stop effin' whinging" society I live in.

posted May 31, 2011 05:43 AM            

NL
If you want to add me,please send me a Friend request but tell me who you are,please.

posted May 31, 2011 11:51 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ami Anne:
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum23/HTML/000232.html

NL
If you want to add me,please send me a Friend request but tell me who you are,please.

---

I can't see any of Randall's profile, and thus can't find you.

posted May 31, 2011 05:26 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Mysticknowflake:
northernlad, keep venting and you will begin to realize that you are capable of love, you're simple afraid of it.

---

Scared ******** is more like it

I wasn't exactly taught how to love as a child, so sometimes I'm not sure what it is exactly. My mom came from a physically abusive household and is very cold emotionally. My dad lost his dad when he was about 9 and went on living a very self-destructive lifestyle until about his mid-thirties. His father physically died whereas I feel like mine did symbolically. He's alive, but he's not much of a dad. They had a messy divorce that my sister and I got caught in the middle of. I think that did a number on me, but instead of dealing with anything I felt I bottled it up and trudged on.

posted June 01, 2011 08:55 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by northernlad:
Lately I've been thinking about how I've built up too many walls around myself. I'm afraid of feeling vulnerable. I'm afraid feeling. I'm afraid of getting hurt. I'm a bit numb and it's very lonely.

I build myself up constantly. I come across as very confident but I'm mostly not. I use humor to try and deal with things, but sometimes I just don't even want to laugh.

I take my emotions, and instead of FEELING them, I file them away under which defense mechanism I'd like to use to avoid dealing with them.

I can't really get close to anyone dealing with things like this. And I can't say I blame anyone for not wanting to go through the obstacle course trying to get to me.

I'm just venting. I don't know if there's any astrological significance to any of this or if it's more to do with personal circumstance. I just need to express it somehow.

---

Funny, I've been thinking about the exact same thing around the exact same time... I still don't have a conclusive answer to this problem though...

posted June 01, 2011 09:50 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Aya_and_baby:
Funny, I've been thinking about the exact same thing around the exact same time... I still don't have a conclusive answer to this problem though...

---

posted June 01, 2011 10:09 AM            

I haven't checked my transits for the last couple of days because with everything I had going on, my mind wasn't on interpreting them - and since I haven't asked that particular question on here, I understand that no one came to tell me that transit moon aspecting my 1st house or something could be the cause of this

What I have noticed though, is that the transit sun recently conjuncted my moon. Since the latter is exactly opposite my rising, the sun was also aspecting those. And my mercury, for good measure. (And Uranus too, but in a wider orb!)

It's a guess, though, nothing conclusive, as I said. And I'm not entirely sure of your chart - I know I've seen it somewhere before but I can't remember it all too clearly

posted June 01, 2011 03:21 PM            

Or something in that sense

I don't know where the eclipse fits in your chart, but in mine, it is exactly opposite my Uranus, and in a wider orb Mercury (and ASC) and conjunct Moon, Chiron and DSC of course - still in the same wide orb. That area is the busiest part of my chart so it shouldn't really come to my surprise that I suddenly find my emotions running wild and find myself doing a lot of introspection...

The opposition to Uranus does worry me a bit. On the other hand, it could explain why I hit my head against a car boot on sunday and got a minor concussion because of it. Accidents