posted December 24, 2011 09:34 PM            

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I once saw a sign that said "sin is death" but if "all deaths are suicide (linda goodman)" and suicide is sin, then shouldnt "death is sin" be more appropriate?

posted December 25, 2011 02:55 PM            

one of the things mentioned was when the woman gets jealous when she discovers the guy she just started dated is also dating other women

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I once saw a sign that said "sin is death" but if "all deaths are suicide (linda goodman)" and suicide is sin, then shouldnt "death is sin" be more appropriate?

posted December 26, 2011 06:00 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by NickiG:

one of the things mentioned was when the woman gets jealous when she discovers the guy she just started dated is also dating other women

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For me, I would not be comfortable if my lady was dating other men at the same time.

posted December 26, 2011 10:43 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
Some people get jealous easily, and I have no doubt there are women (and men) who feel threatened knowing there's competition, even at the casual phase. That doesn't mean all women do. (As for me I just presume anyone chatting me up is also chatting up others.)

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thats where we differ...i figure if i'm dating someone, even casually, that we are both being monogamous

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I once saw a sign that said "sin is death" but if "all deaths are suicide (linda goodman)" and suicide is sin, then shouldnt "death is sin" be more appropriate?

posted December 27, 2011 05:44 AM            

if i were a girl tho i'm imagining all the free food haha!

posted December 27, 2011 07:14 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by sand:
if i were a girl tho i'm imagining all the free food haha!

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You should also imagine the guys that think you "owe" them if you let them do nice things for you (especially buy you stuff, like dinner). Many don't, but enough do who will whine and pout if you don't "pay up" (typically in sex), others will spread nasty rumors about you (either lying about having sex with you or calling you a tease), and a few will outright sexually assault you (or use a date rape drug on you--and btw, at least one guy posting on a messageboard didn't consider this rape) if you don't.

In short, I don't let guys I haven't learned to trust to buy me anything to prevent "misunderstandings." And even when I get to know someone or close to them (male or female) I try to keep things balanced between us (preferably in my favor, that is, my putting out more money) just to feel on the safe side.

quote:

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Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:
And if sex is involved in dating (which it seems to be for most people), then that REALLY complicates things

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Well for me, casual dating doesn't include sex. When sex becomes involved then it gets serious. Of course I'm sure many guys don't agree (at least not deep down, and judging by what I've seen men post to each other on messageboards when they're not thinking of women reading what they post).

--Libra sun, Venus in Libra, Mars (and moon) in Sag, Leo rising

posted December 27, 2011 10:34 PM            

I've had to deal with very aggressive men as well, and it ranges from the annoying to the menacing (even criminally so, if only I had the evidence to prove it), and that's not counting the actual attempted sexual assaults (and worse). I still recall the utter shock when I was 15 and an adult male (who seemed very nice and I didn't fear him at all) gave me a ride and bought me a coke and then said outright I "owed" him and he tried sexually assaulting me in his car in a multistory parking garage. It wouldn't be the last time, and after awhile I learned that accepting favors from men was just too much risk. Some of the things I've seen men post on messageboards when they're not thinking of women reading them just reinforces my caution.

Sometimes they don't even have to do anything for you for them to feel entitled to you. One guy seemed boyishly eager for me on the Venice boardwalk and I found it cute at first, but I was uninterested and I flashed a ring and said, "I'm married" (a trick I came up with to try to cut back on guys constantly macking on me). It didn't work and when I kept going he even started calling me names in a threatening tone though he didn't actually attack me (though I was afraid he might). I later found out that some men are actually more attracted to married women because they think it's easier to get sex without strings attached and I recall thinking, "I can't win!"

posted December 27, 2011 11:09 PM            

I'm also afraid of most people for a similar reasons/ situations. Especially men (usually old ones who right away give off a pervert vibe without even meaning to and expect you to be open to it...or not notice it? idk) i've encountered a few and it's clear that they don't respect women in any way and are aggressive and it's very scary.

quote:

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I ignore male strangers who talk to me

Any clean and proper and decent man would UNDERSTAND that approaching a woman who is all alone would cause her terror and would be seen as suspicious and frightening.

People wonder why I have no interest in dating, and things like this are a good part of it (though not all; lack of interest plus lack of physical desire and simply having different goals and dreams in life also come into play).

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I hear you.