posted February 05, 2012 10:59 AM            

ugh, this guy who I will call J(who is 23 now) has really seem to taken a liking to me. But he has slept with my younger(she's 19 now) cousin. So he doesn't stand a chance in hell with me.
I've told him that, in a sugar coated way.(not too sugar coated I mean I got my point across) He is still really nice to me...but it's like dude seriously, what does he think I am!? I know what you did with my cousin, so it's not gonna happen.

Do guys, or most guys seem to care less about stuff like that? I'm mean I'm sure there are girls like that(really only met one girl who was like this)...but I'm guessing guys more...cause guys sex drives are higher usually.
Plus I've done stuff with J's younger brother(he is 20 now) and they where adopted so they are not related to each other, but still) and he knows it....but J is still interested in me.

I'm guessing some of you are A: agree with me. And I'm guessing some of you B: might think I'm a prude and uptight, and I'm guessing the rest of you are thinking C: where do I meet these people?! LOL or D: both A and C (like my sister when I was venting to her today. lol)

But I've been thinking this thought for a while "Why do some people care? and Why do some people not care?"

posted February 05, 2012 11:14 AM            

But last night it got way to uncomfortable for me.
Like some of our friends are routing for us to take it farther...wtf don't encourage him. I've already stated my statement. And I am more stubborn than I look. And I'm not gonna change my mind. I really can't stand it when I have to repeat my self to the point where I start to feel like I'm a broken record.
So I don't know how much longer this platonic thing can last anymore.

posted February 05, 2012 12:10 PM              

Personally, I don't do sloppy seconds. I have Venus in Leo and integrity is very important to me. If it were a situation where me and a friend or relative liked the same guy and he hadn't done anything with them yet and liked me more I'd consider him. Consider being the important part of that sentence. But that's always a sticky situation. I'm incredibly turned off by guys that have been with my friends or even extended family members. If I knew the guy before he started dating someone I was close to my Venus in Leo pride who'd chime in. Because I wouldn't be able to get past how he initially didn't make a move on me first.

posted February 06, 2012 08:05 PM            

Yeah I have Leo IC. I find guys that have been with a family member to be a turn off. Before I didn't even realize it but I do now.

My younger cousin is slightly competitive it seems. Back when we where in high school I remember me and this guy kind of had a good conection going...so what does my cousin do...start being all over him. And eventually they made out. It's like she did it on purpose.(but who really knows, I might just be trippin. lol) And after that I wasn't feeling him, like I was kind of cold towards him.
and later I was like ohh I bet thats why...

Plus I have Scorpio Moon conjunct Pluto. (maybe it has something to do with not wanting to be reminded of who was before me)

but anyways about this guy J
I honestly just like him as a person. I don't have those kind of feelings for him, but I enjoy hanging out with him though.

(my sister has had friends seconds before in the past) So when I was talking to her she said something like "It doesn't sound like your that attracted to him." And honestly that is true. I've never felt atrracted to him, I just like him as a person.

But that is a good point about if you really like the person, their past shouldn't matter.

I will admit that I have taken seconds from friends...but it seems like I really only do that if all they really did was kiss or make out...and really not anything more than that.

posted February 11, 2012 10:40 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by sand:
just be thankful your cousins don't sleep with each other!

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LMAO.

posted February 13, 2012 11:16 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by amowls**:
It's kind of sad to see the world that way. Like people can be "used up" so to speak.

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posted February 14, 2012 12:13 AM            

And I thought "sloppy seconds" meant having sex with someone who was still "messed up" from having sex with someone else, but maybe I just took that too literally.

quote:

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Originally posted by Stawr:
Another tricky thing with these senarios, 'will your friend be okay with it...and if not is the guy worth losing your friend over.'

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This would be my only concern...and it's conceivable that I might worry about one and/or the other deciding to try and rekindle the dead romance once they're around each other long enough, but I wouldn't assume this was the case without a good reason (if I did then I'd either never enter into such a relationship or I'd end one or both relationships).

quote:

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Originally posted by LEXX:
nonsense

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Such sentiments you described in others do strike me as nonsense.

quote:

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Originally posted by LEXX:
I do not feel that means I am tainted, used up, second hand goods

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posted September 02, 2021 01:10 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Dumuzi:
i wouldn't care if i liked someone, what difference does it make to me what happened before me?

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posted October 16, 2021 08:16 PM            

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posted October 24, 2021 11:10 AM            

In high school I had a friendship end because I had the same taste in guys as my friend who also had Scorpio moon and Pluto.

posted January 02, 2022 01:56 PM            

I have noticed there are two types of people that get into the open/poly lifestyle. There are the straight up sex addict types that use it as an excuse to indulge their addiction. These typically have a lot of self wounds that they need to heal, and generally lack self love.

Then there are the more spiritually attuned, and more rare types, that understand that you can love and be in love with more than one person at a time, it's not focused on sex (but connection) for them, and that the only reason why people don't practice that sharing is because of jealous, fear/insecurity, possessiveness, etc which all come from ego, shadow, and fear.

And yet, here are some interesting statistics about marriages and cheating:

"Another estimate from the journal of Marriage and Divorce concludes that a mindblowing 70% of married Americans cheat at least once in their marriage.

More reliable numbers from the US General Social Survey point to lower statistics for infidelity, but they are still worrisomely high.

According to the General Social Survey, “twenty percent of men cheat compared to 13 percent of women.”

According to LA Intelligence Detective Agency the numbers are somewhat higher. They write that:

30 to 60 percent of married couples will cheat at least once in the marriage
74 percent of men and 68 percent of women admit they’d cheat if it was guaranteed they’d never get caught [GCE's comment: WOW]
60 percent of affairs start with close friends or coworkers
An average affair lasts 2 years
69 percent of marriages break up as a result of an affair being discovered"

(Then combined with the statistics that in the US at least, 50% of marriages end in divorce.)

When these statistics mention infidelity and cheating, they are not talking about open relationship connections, but the worst kind of infidelity, when one partner lies, hides, keeps secret, their other relationship. Clearly (most) humans are not very good at the whole monogamy thing, but yet are too afraid to be open and honest about their real feelings, thoughts, needs, desires, etc.

And what you repress/suppress will eventually bite you in the arse. I actually find with having an open option, I think about other women and sex in general less. Yeah, I flirt a bit with some women here and there, like on this forum, but rarely is it ever serious--most of the time it is more lighthearted and more joking around.