posted February 12, 2012 09:04 AM            

I have a problem. I think I'm not capable of sharing stuff. like anything at all. I cannot imagine anyone stepping inside my bedroom door. i feel like uncomfortable feeling if another person enters my room. I don't like being physically close. I hate if someone (even if its a partner) tries to cling too much. I get upset if I have to stay in same mood for a long time. specially in a relationship, I chicken out very frequently e.g if the guy asks for a date, I'll say yes, but at the very last minute, or like in first few minutes, I wana flee. its like I get bored or uninterested no matter how much I'm attracted to him. My first relationship was with an Aries guy, he was like me so we understood the space requirements and all, but even he got tired of my "stay-away" policy. he wanted to meet more often which didn't interest me (although I loved him a lot), so he ended up being with someone who wanted to be together (a Pisces girl). next my romance was with a guy who lived 4000miles away. So it was comfy. When he started calling me everyday, I chickened out. Then I was asked out by about 5 guys and it resulted in same thing, no relationship, but boring, boring, boring. I find them attractive, I'm just not interested any more after few texts or calls I don't even know why. Its like a switch that turns off. I feel like I'm destined to be alone, because I want to be alone, a part of me does. When I'm not being asked out and all, I feel very down. I wish I had some one who would take care of me, love me, listen to me, and when I have him, I want to run away. This sometimes confuses the guy too and when he's confused he doesn't have no choice except believing that I'm nuts. Now this is getting serious, how will I live alone guys? I'm supposed to be with someone, I need to be with someone, a part of me does at least. what should I do?

and BTW, My North Node is in 7th house too. tell me about it *sigh*

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Pity from an Aries is worse than their contempt \m/

posted February 12, 2012 11:00 AM            

I'm a guy and that's my perspective. Any guy that wants to head directly for sex without understanding how you feel isn't worth your time.

posted February 12, 2012 11:06 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
My suggestion is to begin with plutonic relationships. Just plain friendships. Get acquainted first and don't engage in physical intimacy. Definitely not sex.

I'm a guy and that's my perspective. Any guy that wants to head directly for sex without understanding how you feel isn't worth your time.

The guys would value more if you value yourself and your needs highly.

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Have been friends with that first guy. he was my almost soul mate (sun conjunction). we had a very passionate relationship. but he never pushed me for sex , i have to give him that.

the second guy was a little pushy but he was too far away for that.

posted February 12, 2012 01:23 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by anongrl10:
Have you noticed a similar feeling when too close to a friend?

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exactly, commitment phobia!
I feel it in all my relationships. Have been feeling this way since childhood. I remember I had a lil cousin who used to come to me so that i comb her hair and u know girly stuff but I hated it when she was following me like a tail (she was just a baby) then same thing with my family. My mother does not pry or get close too often (physically and emotionally), she knows I'll run away
I'm not saying its only in romantic relationships. Its in all relationships. basically i'm on and off kind. but romantic relationships is the area where its most hurtful because then m i going to be alone forever?

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Pity from an Aries is worse than their contempt \m/

posted February 12, 2012 01:40 PM            

I go back and forth constantly between wanting closeness and fearing it because I hate for others to have power and control over me. Knowledge is power, and power is control, and I don't want to be suffocated. And yet I feel lonely. Both are prisons and it's hard to find balance.

And I also feel like I go back and forth between fearing people knowing too much and getting too close and feeling like no one knows me at all.

So yeah, just wanted to let you know that you're not alone out there, if that's any consolation.

I hope that you'll be able to find the right balance in relationships for you, and also that you'll find healthy relationships.

posted February 12, 2012 02:00 PM            

Hey I just checked this here

Some of the most common symptoms of Commitment Phobia, include...

Criticism of a Partner
Hurting Their Partner
Scared of Getting Noticed
Unrealistic Ideals
The Unavailable Partner – The Affair
The Unavailable Partner – The Long Distance Relationship
The Commitment Phobic Partner
Commitment Phobia and the Long Term Relationship
The ‘Yo-Yo-ing’ effect in commitment phobia
The Serial Commitment Phobic
The Fear of Commitment to Anything

and OMG, I actually have commitment phobia:O

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Pity from an Aries is worse than their contempt \m/

posted February 12, 2012 02:03 PM            

Once they have ‘run away’ from the relationship, the commitment phobic often starts to feel ‘emptiness’. They start to realize that they did love their partner after all. This emptiness… missing the other person, can often cause them to go back to them.

Of course, once back in the relationship again, and after everything has ‘settled down’, the relationship quickly starts to head back towards their ‘trigger’ again.

“Now, before you left we were talking about getting married weren’t we”.

Before you know it, the commitment phobic is off again. Then they’re back…. Then they’re off… and so on."

OMG, this is me they are talking about :'(

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Pity from an Aries is worse than their contempt \m/

posted February 13, 2012 04:53 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:
I can relate, honestly.

I go back and forth constantly between wanting closeness and fearing it because I hate for others to have power and control over me. Knowledge is power, and power is control, and I don't want to be suffocated. And yet I feel lonely. Both are prisons and it's hard to find balance.

And I also feel like I go back and forth between fearing people knowing too much and getting too close and feeling like no one knows me at all.

So yeah, just wanted to let you know that you're not alone out there, if that's any consolation.

I hope that you'll be able to find the right balance in relationships for you, and also that you'll find healthy relationships.

And for what it's worth, being single isn't the end of the world. Your worth is NOT determined by your marital/romantic relationship status. Your worth is determined by who you are and what gifts you have to offer and share, not by whether or not you have a partner.

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posted February 13, 2012 04:55 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by anongrl10:
Realizing it and admitting it is HUGE.
Although it doesn't feel like it, it is the first step to changing it.
I mentioned in my previous post above that because your NN is in the 7th, this could be a lifelong lesson for you.
I would suggest that you read up on boundaries. I am familiar with your cultural background and I suspect that your commitment-phobia is just an instinctual learned way to protect your personal boundaries.
OK? It's all as bad as it sounds. Our soul knows better than the mind. Try to understand and accept and respect your soul's message.
You won't end up alone. People can still not marry and have rich happy lives full of people. If you overcome this phobia you will have steady friends and lovers in your life. It isn't like what you said that if you can't have a romantic partner you will be alone! How about the rest of people in your life?! So, see it as a general issue and start small, with friendships, and introspection.
Read up on boundaries. It will help.

hugs,
Anongrl10

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exactly. its like a war, what I'm SUPPOSED to do and what I want to do. The commitment phobia is there because I do not like being pushed and I feel like I will be pushed and the greatest fear of all "what if I do not fall in love with anyone again?" this feeling haunts me. you always understand my point .

Thank you

*hugs back*

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Pity from an Aries is worse than their contempt \m/

posted February 13, 2012 06:34 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by love being Aries:
you always understand my point .

Thank you

*hugs back*

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Yes, we do have this weird connection.
Coincidentally, while you were responding here I was emailing you on a completely different matter. LOL

posted February 18, 2012 12:07 PM            

I thought I was the only one with that problem.

I can completely relate to everything you said, love being Aries, it's freaky!

I feel exactly the same way, in *all* of my relationships.

And I too, am afraid of ending up alone, because I'm unable to sustain any kind of relationship, I simply end up running away.

I have NN conjunct DSC...
It's gotta be it!

At least you're not alone in this, love being Aries