posted March 01, 2012 10:11 AM            

Here I go again delving into the psyche of we humans, especially the other gender...

Was having a discussion with a co-worker/friend. He stated he would never cheat on his gfriend due to his "strong morals" (too bad he cheated his way thru highschool.)

But that is not enough for me.

I told him I would rather think my sig other was into me enough to not WANT to cheat, not to see every hot thing that passes by and get a rise, but not go there due to his (in my opinion false) morals.

Then he used the term "crushing." He said it was totally normal, when I called him out on it, he retorted that ALL MEN get xcited in the presence of an attractive lady and ALL MEN have to hold themsleves back.

He thinks ME strange for not crushing on other men...WTF? I told him I am currently still into my bfriend enough to not go there and when I feel something like that coming to the surface I recognize it as a red relationship flag.

So I might as well given him shovels, cause he kept digging himself deeper and deeper.

Ii called him out on his persistant flirting with other women. (especially me.) Again, "harmless flirting."

NO SILLY ASS! It is not harmless cause if a woman takes you seriously, you will be so flattered that it will be difficult for you to say no...

All in all I gave up the discussion, with a whatever....Seems like very rudimentary behavior to me.

The last crush I had was on Peter Steele, (died a few years ago) then Andy Gibb before that.

Seems crushing on celebs is somewhat normal, they are untouchable, but when you crush on someone in your daily life....me thinks trouble..

What you you all think?

posted March 01, 2012 11:47 AM            

btw, my (one of many) teen crushs just died. RIP Davey Jones

posted March 01, 2012 01:11 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by cappy1277:
No that's the paradox of men and women...lol

Us women are emotionally charged creatures. If we are fulfilled emotionally and physically with the man that we are with, our biological receptors stay in tuned with the one that we are with. Men on the other hand can be more biologically inclined to want to spread as much seed as possible to keep his lineage going. Only the survival of the fittest...of course that is a cave man mentality and in this day and age morals do play a huge part in it because it is more respectable to be monogamous but underlying in the man's brain is that cave man instinct. how they choose to use is based on their morals.

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That is beautiful, kind of likened on what I posted on my thread on SU.

posted March 01, 2012 03:44 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Randall:
But no, most guys don't get so excited that they have to hold themselves back when in the presence of an attractive woman.

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posted March 01, 2012 05:55 PM            

I do believe men are much more visually stimulated than a woman, because there have been too many scientific experiments on that as well as the market reflecting it. Of course what men find visually appealing varies widely.

Also, as amazing as this may seem to those with poor impulse control who can't tell the difference between desire and action, I do see a HUGE difference between what one feels and how one chooses to act on it.

As for him finding you strange, that's a typical mistake all too many make (and one I used to make when I was younger) in thinking of yourself as the "default model" for humanity and thus all other people are more or less exactly like yourself. This is one reason why honest people tend to take other people at their word while habitual liars find themselves unable to trust, for example. I've also noticed that habitual cheaters tend to make suspicious lovers as well while those who would never cheat normally need a reason to suspect a partner of that kind of behavior.

posted March 01, 2012 08:40 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Randall:
Men and women are wired differently. Women are emotional. Men are visual. Women care about things like security and a good job when it comes to men. Conversely, men don't care what a woman does for work. There are exceptions, of course. But no, most guys don't get so excited that they have to hold themselves back when in the presence of an attractive woman. According to anonymous surveys (where one can be expected to answer truthfully), around 3/4 of men cheat. That leaves one out of four who don't. So it isn't a rarity.

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Thanks Randall~I really appreciate your input`

So, perhaps, a man who states such is just making excuses for his poor behavior?

posted March 01, 2012 08:42 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by PixieJane:

I do believe men are much more visually stimulated than a woman, because there have been too many scientific experiments on that as well as the market reflecting it. Of course what men find visually appealing varies widely.

Also, as amazing as this may seem to those with poor impulse control who can't tell the difference between desire and action, I do see a HUGE difference between what one feels and how one chooses to act on it.

As for him finding you strange, that's a typical mistake all too many make (and one I used to make when I was younger) in thinking of yourself as the "default model" for humanity and thus all other people are more or less exactly like yourself. This is one reason why honest people tend to take other people at their word while habitual liars find themselves unable to trust, for example. I've also noticed that habitual cheaters tend to make suspicious lovers as well while those who would never cheat normally need a reason to suspect a partner of that kind of behavior.

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posted March 01, 2012 08:44 PM            

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Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:
--soooo agree

A man who REALLY loves his woman would want only her. Period.

Celebrity/fictional character crushes are fun--they are not attainable, and just for fun. Going after and actively pursuing someone in 'real life', though, is not OK. I would not consider hitting on or flirting with someone OK either.

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posted March 01, 2012 11:26 PM            

As to whether men and women are wired differently, you have to account for the player/hoe double standard. A man who has sex with lots of women is a "player" and a "real man." A woman who has sex with lots of men is considered a dirty hoe.

posted March 01, 2012 11:38 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Randall:
Men and women are wired differently. Women are emotional. Men are visual. Women care about things like security and a good job when it comes to men. Conversely, men don't care what a woman does for work. There are exceptions, of course. But no, most guys don't get so excited that they have to hold themselves back when in the presence of an attractive woman. According to anonymous surveys (where one can be expected to answer truthfully), around 3/4 of men cheat. That leaves one out of four who don't. So it isn't a rarity.

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Errr... Glad I'm not a man

I'm a sensitive, emotional being. I guess I'm wired differently than most men.

I care immensely about what a woman does with her life. Intelligence, worldliness, achievement, accomplishment and ambition are critically important to me.

Would I not go out with an unaccomplished woman who is gorgeous? Yeah. Superficiality never interested me. All the women whom I have had relationships with are all ultra successful. I've been fortunate that all the women whom Ihave had relationships have all been beyond attractive. But the first things I go for are brains and success, not T and A.

posted March 04, 2012 08:45 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Randall:
Men and women are wired differently. Women are emotional. Men are visual. Women care about things like security and a good job when it comes to men. Conversely, men don't care what a woman does for work. There are exceptions, of course. But no, most guys don't get so excited that they have to hold themselves back when in the presence of an attractive woman. According to anonymous surveys (where one can be expected to answer truthfully), around 3/4 of men cheat. That leaves one out of four who don't. So it isn't a rarity.

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That is just pop psychology BS, Randall, the whole Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus thing. There are men who show so-called feminine brains and women who display traditionally male wiring and it is not because they are freaks. It is because personality is not dependent on male vs Female parameters; being male or female is just your gender and it doesn't influence your thought patterns.

I am a woman, female being my biological as well as assigned gender, and I love looking at people's bodies. The human body has always bee a source of great intrigue to me and I immediately judge men and women as attractive to me or otherwise at a glance without wondering if the they have a fat paycheck or a Ferrari parked in their garage

For the OP however, I understand what you mean by saying you'd rather you s.o. not cheat because he loves you then because of some moral obligation but morals are what makes a man or woman and without morals we have no ground to stand upon.

posted March 05, 2012 01:17 PM            

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Originally posted by Frozen Queen:
That is just pop psychology BS, Randall, the whole Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus thing. There are men who show so-called feminine brains and women who display traditionally male wiring and it is not because they are freaks. It is because personality is not dependent on male vs Female parameters; being male or female is just your gender and it doesn't influence your thought patterns.

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It works out - I've always been kind of a butch straight chick

posted March 05, 2012 09:44 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Randall:
There are always exceptions, and those exceptions still fall on the scale of normalcy...but women typically need emotional connections where men are more visually-inspired.

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Yep biology is biology lol

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted March 06, 2012 02:48 PM            

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Originally posted by T:

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