posted March 06, 2012 02:50 AM            

There's such a contradiction to those statements, especially when you come from a backround where voicing yourself always had consequences.

The past need not mould you but it takes a long time to realized you have that freedom now. You start excersizing that right and it back fires. You find yourself regressing to that stage just shutting up or getting completely angry.

The anger turns into resentment and eventually, when you've had enough, you blow your top.

posted March 06, 2012 05:21 AM            

I've made a pact with myself:
Not to give someone that kind of power over me again.
I am not the past or in that situation any more, so I will not fall victim to the same cycle; we are victims if we allow ourselves to be.
I have the right to express myself. It doesn't have to be rude or loud and I have the right to be HEARD.

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Remember, love can conquer the influences of the planets....It can even eliminate karma.

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posted April 20, 2012 04:00 AM            

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Remember, love can conquer the influences of the planets....It can even eliminate karma.

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posted April 20, 2012 09:16 AM            

I think one of the hardest lessons is to have your voice and be strong about it BUT be able to be part of a group with others(or a friendship) It is very tricky. This is what I was learning when I went into a shell a long time ago.I am starting to learn it, again. One needs the same "skill" to navigate in on line community as real life, imo.

You see certain people like Randall and IQ who seem to have learned these lessons.Then, you see other people who have been out in the world and interacting with people who have learned few lessons.

My current goal with my business and why I even wanted and needed this venue was to learn just this.I am but it is S-L-O-W as anything. The lessons come along like molasses but they do come.

I think people need mentors, though. I don't think you can learn without some wise people who are on your side.

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted April 20, 2012 09:56 AM            

quote:

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Not to give someone that kind of power over me again.
I am not the past or in that situation any more, so I will not fall victim to the same cycle; we are victims if we allow ourselves to be.

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Thats right sister !

posted April 20, 2012 10:09 AM            

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Originally posted by MorningDew79:
Charmainec, I can relate to this so much. Thank you for sharing your beautiful pact. I need to print that out and read it daily

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You're welcome. :startheart:

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Remember, love can conquer the influences of the planets....It can even eliminate karma.

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posted April 20, 2012 10:10 AM            

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Remember, love can conquer the influences of the planets....It can even eliminate karma.

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posted April 20, 2012 10:32 AM            

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted April 20, 2012 11:03 AM            

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
Welcome Morning Dew

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Thank you Ami Anne! I love what you wrote. I'm coming from a culture that taught kids not to talk back to their parents. It's the Asian up bringing and I'm learning to break my shell by being more expressive and not holding it back when I'm upset because I know it will bottled up and when I explode it will get ugly lol.

posted April 20, 2012 11:04 AM            

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
Morning Dew
I am doing Welcome Readings in two Forums if you would like one!

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posted April 20, 2012 11:19 AM            

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Originally posted by MorningDew79:
Aww so sweet of you! Let me find my way there Thank you!

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Of course, take your time, Morningdew. Thank you for your kind words!

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted April 20, 2012 11:28 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by MorningDew79:
Thank you Ami Anne! I love what you wrote. I'm coming from a culture that taught kids not to talk back to their parents. It's the Asian up bringing and I'm learning to break my shell by being more expressive and not holding it back when I'm upset because I know it will bottled up and when I explode it will get ugly lol.

Yes, mentors would be so nice

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If you are a praying person, pray for God to send you some.I have 3. They are very special to me. They cheer me on. We, all, need this!

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted April 20, 2012 05:52 PM            

Be honest - With yourself and with other people
Don't express yourself with the intent to hurt another person - Because that's not really being honest or expressing your true feelings.
Understand when people disagree - Even with the views of your own emotions. You don't have to agree with them, but understand that they don't agree... seems simple, but that's the most difficult.

I went through this, not the cultural bit, but the learning to share my emotions with people in an open manner (as a matter of fact if you see some really odd posts from me on here it's because my goal this year is to be more vulnerable).

Yeah, there's a lot of issues when you first start working on it. You're acting in a completely different manner than you were before, and in general people don't like change. You get the added benefit that it's not all that acceptable culturally.

But the rewards are worth going through that adjustment period, not just the personal rewards but the rewards for the people around you.

My family and friends KNOW that when I speak, I'm being honest, not purposefully mean, and I am willing to listen and try to understand if they disagree... and they feel comfortable to do the same. Which makes our relationships soooooo much stronger.

If you find it difficult, try the positive emotions first. They're not the strongest, but they are better received.