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Author
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Topic: The Gap
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Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 28338
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted March 07, 2012 11:05 AM
  
A friend would tell me that I needed a "Gap" in trying to heal my relationship with my mother. Most of you know about is as I did a Pholus on it on here.
I think I finally got the gap.It had to come on it's own. It took over 2 years of tears. It took incredible sadness but I finally feel that I am more separate from her.It is just a gap so not all over, by any means. However, I finally got what I was searching for, in some measure. Can anyone relate? ------------------
Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
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sunshine9
Moderator Posts: 872
From: Beehive
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted March 07, 2012 03:06 PM
Ami,Could you please describe what you mean by this "gap"? Do you mean you are taking a break from talking/seeing each other? I am searching for answers now, for something that would help heal my relationship with mine. 
Sunshine IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 28338
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted March 07, 2012 03:14 PM
NOO --on the contrary Sweetie. I forced myself to go forward the best I could into experience. I forced myself to be myself. This was the most important part.I got in all sorts of messes but I did it because it was how I thought at the moment. I just stepped in and stepped in it. Then, after all that time, I see myself more as I am.I see myself separate from all the untruths my mother told me and put on me. I see myself as kind of who I am--good and bad. I see myself as human with flaws and good things but I feel kind of self accepting.The gap was seeing WHO I was--not who people told me I was. Does that make sense? ------------------
Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
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hippichick
Moderator Posts: 1150
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted March 07, 2012 06:30 PM
Been there, done, that~Yea, I get ya. As I posted on your abuse thread, (which I think needs to be bumped daily), I had to create such with my mom. All the while, in early childhood, while I was being told I was worthless, an imbisil, etc. I knew, even at a very young age that she was full of it.....I pulled away from her emotionally, not so much that I could find myself, but to get away from this negative programming. Years down the road, I am closing my gap, allowing her back in. At 75 she is more supportive of me than she ever has been. I just had a lightbulb. I could never understand why my mother would say such things to a her little girl...In steps the dark side of Virgo...projection, projection of her inadequacies to me....same as V BF  IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 28338
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted March 07, 2012 06:50 PM
Hippi  ------------------
Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
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sunshine9
Moderator Posts: 872
From: Beehive
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted March 08, 2012 05:46 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Ami Anne:
NOO --on the contrary Sweetie. I forced myself to go forward the best I could into experience. I forced myself to be myself. This was the most important part.I got in all sorts of messes but I did it because it was how I thought at the moment. I just stepped in and stepped in it. Then, after all that time, I see myself more as I am.I see myself separate from all the untruths my mother told me and put on me. I see myself as kind of who I am--good and bad. I see myself as human with flaws and good things but I feel kind of self accepting.The gap was seeing WHO I was--not who people told me I was. Does that make sense?
So, let me see if I understand - the gap was you trying to distance yourself from the expectation or the false image of you that your mother had, and coming into your own true self-image? You strengthened your sense of self so you could stand up to her, yes? Ugh, if I've got it wrong, it's probably my Neptune/AC issues coming out.. I'm struggling with a bout of this now, and this is all I see. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 28338
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted March 08, 2012 05:57 PM
It is ALL right except the end goal was not to stand up to her but to be an authentic person with general self acceptance and a good level of confidence. I am getting there lol------------------
Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
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