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Author
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Topic: Women in my work place
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Venus
Moderator Posts: 1210
From:
Registered: Mar 2011
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posted May 30, 2012 09:57 AM
  
there are a lot of women where i work but only a handful are in management positions.what is intriguing to me is that those women in high positions are viewed as "unpleasant" or "aggravating" even by female co-workers. i'm in no case a person who makes prejudices lightly, but there is this one woman co-worker who is a full blown Aries (down to beady Aries eyes) and yes she is sometime inappropriate and mean to her assistants etc.. but i cant help but respect her. After all its not that easy proving yourself in a macho male environment. anyways, do we view her and other women as annoying because we are not used to seing women in high managements positions or maybe she is actually annoying?? this scares me somewhat too. i am a woman with a bright future (from where im standing at least  ) eventually i will be in a management position. should I expect myself to change in order to fit the "manager" persona? this isnt just about gender, its also about social skills.. im a very nice person, i do not give orders flat out. when i confront someone who has done something wrong (work wise) it almost always ends with ME apologizing for being abrupt should i change/toughen up for the future.. please no sexist jokes, most of you mean well but I do not tolerate such jokes/comments
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Aquacheeka
Knowflake Posts: 1465
From: Toronto
Registered: Mar 2012
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posted May 30, 2012 10:00 AM
Nice people don't get promoted.IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways
Knowflake Posts: 3013
From:
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted May 30, 2012 10:35 AM
Part of being an effective manager is having the respect of subordinates. A-holes whether male or female are universally hated. Managers who are crude and harsh invariably don't get good performance in the end. Treat everyone with utmost respect regardless of how far you are up the management chain. Sam Walton, the billionaire founder of Wal-Mart, drove the same old pick up truck and worked the stores alongside all his store employees. Ray Kroc, the founder of McDonalds, would flip burgers in various stores to get a sense of what was happening at his stores. And he ate the same Big Macs at lunch and not fillet mignon. IP: Logged |
ghanima81
Moderator Posts: 906
From: Maine
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted May 30, 2012 10:56 AM
I am the same way (end up apologizing) and I KNOW I'm not cut out for management. Just don't have it in me to deal with the backlash of people being upset with me for telling them to do their jobs LOL. So yes, I'd say you do have to toughen up. I think some women (men too, but in this instance, you are speaking of women) feel they have to be a bit more harsh, "b!tchy" and abrupt in order to get respect. I really wish THAT mindset would vanish because I know many women in high positions that are actually really great, but at work, they are devils. I know that they feel they need to project that, possibly because they are actually too emotional and PRETEND to be that way to curb reactions that are not "professional". Needless to say, I also know women that are nurturing and kind, yet focused and get really good results from their employees. I think that way is far more effective. IP: Logged |
Hera
Moderator Posts: 1984
From: the OR
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted May 30, 2012 01:24 PM
Hahaha, I am an Aries and I used to be quite a soft project manager in college, but I guess I have toughen up with the years and now I am seen as intimidating by women and men (Lilith in the 1st sq MC ruler). I am a senior resident now and this year noobs were brought on, there is this one girl that actually shivers if I stand next to her when she's doing a suture.  To some extent I think it is best to be a little feared and demand respect (though as YTA put it, you have to give what you pretend, so treat ppl with respect and composure). But also having a tight team behind you since you can't do everything alone, so it's also important to find ways to motivate the team members and keep them satisfied. So you kinda have to find the middle ground between totalitarian b!tch and doormat softy. Be nice but keep your distance.
Women in powerful positions are envied by both genders, but that's alright, you're not competing for a popularity contest. Just ignore that and do your thing. IP: Logged |
lilithpluto
Knowflake Posts: 1006
From: pluto
Registered: Dec 2011
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posted May 31, 2012 11:09 AM
Absolutely agree with YTA! Hehehe, my bosses are all fine, male or female, but seriously, I prefer my male bosses, they are less particular about nitty bitty details unlike my female bosses.. and not that particular if I misbehave once in a while.  IP: Logged |
hippichick
Moderator Posts: 1507
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted May 31, 2012 11:11 AM
Women can be just plain ruthless in upper managment levels in the work place.And I think alot of it comes from their "competition" of their male counterparts, they think they have to go the extra mile just to prove and excell. I have only been in mid mamagment, I am a real softie, I hate to be mean, it hurts me and I cant delegate worth beans! Until recently I always perfered a male manager, due to tho, some events untold per my former male midget Aquarius nurse director, I am now enjoying a very lovely lady director at my new job. Women can do it, without being mean, but what I have seen, that is usually the exception, not the rule. IP: Logged |
Lonake
Moderator Posts: 7838
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 03, 2012 12:10 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Venus:
anyways, do we view her and other women as annoying because we are not used to seing women in high managements positions or maybe she is actually annoying??
Nah, I don't see em as annoying. I see em as having balls, and in high positions esp you have to be tough and play the game, or fig out a better game that can work and implement it. Huge juggling act and not for the weak. This is more the case, it seems, when the business/organization is responsible for a lot of product and/or funds and/or human lives. The more responsibility at stake, the heavier the burden.To be at the top, or near it, if that is what you're headed for, you have to learn how to delegate and how to best utilize the resources that you have at your disposal to get the job done. The priority is keeping the company or business afloat, if not outright flourishing, and not saving someone's feelings, as this is what keeps the money and/or donations coming in. Having said that, some companies are run with a more easy touch, so there's a variance here, to an extent. Not all supervisors are cutthroat. But at the end of the day you all want to walk away with a paycheck so some tough decisions have to be made. I've seen male supervisors/c.o.o's who were a very soft touch and honestly not doing their best to have their businesses running efficiently, they were not an asset and should have been let go or made to toughen up. It's unfortunate but it happens. The ideal is to have the company flourishing, to have trained employees put to their best use to keep up the momentum, and for there to be an open sharing of ideas to move it all forward, to stay on task and to have time to relax. It's that big picture that the BEST managers always keep at the forefront. That's why I say it's a juggling act. When those ideals are in your mind, all of your decisions are made based on your principles and even tho you might end up 'hurting someone's feelings' you know that you are making the best decisions for your team. And yes I have worked in management. It *does* get easier once you realize everything that is at stake, and the responsibility that you hold to the company that feeds you and allows you to put a roof over your head. That doesn't mean that you have to be hard about it, but you will have to make what seem like tough decisions in the beginning. As you ease into it, you'll realize what warrants a fuss and what does not, the tough decisions won't be so hard anymore. It's sort of like with a first child, you worry and you make mistakes, after that with the next one, you have more wisdom tucked away and can ease up the pressure on yourself. And I would ditch the apologizing. I know it works well with your girl friends, when you're chit chatting, so that you don't seem better than them and alienate them, but in the office if you want to be taken seriously it's another deal altogether. Maybe just saying something flat out seems rude to you, in which case I might say to learn the distinction between assertiveness and aggressiveness as they are not the same, as a first step. If you model assertive behavior you will inspire even your own employees because you will be helping them in their own plight to get along better in the workplace if they should have an issue with that along the way. One common tactic that is used usually to great effect, is an initial compliment or a question of concern related to something about that person's interests, using that as a bridge to connect, and then segueing into a subject that *might* seem difficult for them to process if brought up in an abrupt manner. I've seen many great managers both male and female employ this technique and it works. The aim is to get the employee in a comfortable position *first* so they will drop their guard and be more open to changing or acknowledging something difficult about their performance. It could even be a harmless and simple joke (stay away from potentially offensive material). You're not manipulating them here, you're acknowledging *first* that they are a person and not just a cog in the machine, and by doing that you bring them to your level, when you drop into their feelings/wants/needs, you are bypassing the basic barrier between employee and manager and getting to a one-on-one, this shows respect to them and helps you out as well when they are more open to hearing what you have to say. If this specific strategy is employed correctly, there is no need to apologize and you might even find yourself not feeling guilty at all, if that is the case then the basic act of connecting with them on a common level as a precursor might have soothed your nerves about the issue as well. The key is be sincere, no fake compliments as they will drive you both apart. There is always something that can be commended about any employee (99% of the time, otherwise honestly they shouldn't be there) so part of your job is to work to find that (if you have to) and bring that out in them and let them know you notice it and it's appreciated. My 2. IP: Logged |
starzy54
Knowflake Posts: 411
From: CA
Registered: Feb 2010
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posted June 03, 2012 03:23 AM
I am a female cap and have worked in a management position for over two years now.i had to toughen myself up as I found myself managing employees that were my former coworkers, so of course they tried to push me over knowing I am a soft hearted shy person at heart.i didn't want to lose their friendship but also had to keep my reponsibilites as my top priorities.i channelled my Leo asc and Aries moon and managed to be a nice but firm boss.my employees like me a lot and even buy my flowers on ocasssion.i don't think you have to be a b**** to be successfull.as a manager it pays to pay close attention to your teams feelings.if they feel overly restricted they aren't going to do a great job IMO.i try to take care of my staff and they do the same for me.we won an award for increasing sales by a 4% margin this year and its been very pleasent for me and them to say he least.IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 2482
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted June 03, 2012 03:55 AM
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YoursTrulyAlways
Knowflake Posts: 3013
From:
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted June 04, 2012 08:38 AM
The path to success as a manager entails fostering a culture and environment of success. It is important to make expectations well known and lay critical milestones to accomplishing targetted objectives. Managers needn't be friends with their subordinates but should at least be friendly. Managers lead by example, and it is through examplary conduct that subordinates get motivated. There is also a need to get subordinates to focus on the overall objective and allow them leeway to manage their own way while working towards the overall objective. I personally like a jovial, collegial atmosphere but I make it known that when it comes down to crunch time, I put on my game face. I can switch to being progressively more assertive and aggressive, and I tell my subordinates that the game is often won in the final minutes, and that is when I expect everyone to step up to 100%. Relaxation and a little frivolity in downtime does wonders for team morale. I've been managing for a long while now. I'm a bank managing director.IP: Logged |
hippichick
Moderator Posts: 1507
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted June 04, 2012 01:02 PM
YTA you are so smart!And I bet a great manager! I have thought this for years! Funny how in my field, nursing, they call themselves "directors." Hmmmmm....the word itself is vague, but certainly any directors that I have experienced in the recent past have not directed, but dictated. To me, "director" means to set forth in motion "direction", to forge a path to be followed by subordinates, to be there for help and questions...NOT to rule from some imaginary throne in the sky. We as a society could really do better in leadership, period! IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways
Knowflake Posts: 3013
From:
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted June 04, 2012 04:47 PM
hippichick,Thank you very much. I get my inspiration from the great leaders in history. Always lead by example and lead from the front. Treat others only in the way you would like to be treated yourself. Focus on the overall objective and not micro manage every little detail where you stiffle innovation and creativity. Acknowledge mistakes to subordinates and learn from those mistakes. Reward diligent work handsomely. Never take credit for success without acknowledging how vital the team is to your success. No one is left behind. No one goes unrecognized. The bottom line is that the team is only as fast as the last person across the line, whether coaxed, carried or dragged, and not reflective of a single superstar, and least of all solely the manager/director. IP: Logged |
starfox
Moderator Posts: 842
From: London England
Registered: Aug 2010
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posted June 04, 2012 05:08 PM
My manager is a woman (Aquarian), a very nice lady, but cross her to your own regret, she has an edge to her that she rarely shows but I sense.We get on well & work well together. Maybe its my own (capricorn) nature that means I get left to train all the new members of staff, although I am not a manager nor paid as one..(Yet  ) it seems to be delegated to me even though I have only been working there for eight months.! IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 32796
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted June 04, 2012 06:14 PM
quote:
Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
Part of being an effective manager is having the respect of subordinates. A-holes whether male or female are universally hated. Managers who are crude and harsh invariably don't get good performance in the end. Treat everyone with utmost respect regardless of how far you are up the management chain. Sam Walton, the billionaire founder of Wal-Mart, drove the same old pick up truck and worked the stores alongside all his store employees. Ray Kroc, the founder of McDonalds, would flip burgers in various stores to get a sense of what was happening at his stores. And he ate the same Big Macs at lunch and not fillet mignon.
Brilliant. The higher up you go, the more humility, often.
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