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Author
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Topic: the creep label
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aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 4504
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted July 23, 2012 04:43 AM
  
i notice that alot of women use this word quiet liberally nowadays, but what does it really mean? me personally i think a woman has every right to label a man a creep if he is sexually explicit towards her, wont take obvious signs that she wonts him to go away/ not interested in him etc. but is a man creepy if he simply approaches a woman at work, the store etc. to see if she might be interested in getting to know him? and if she seems uninterested and he picks up on it and leaves, is he still a creep.i have been noticing at work that alot of women talk very unkindly about a mentally challenged guy who works there. he is very friendly with the women and maybe a tad flirty, but he's friendly with everyone, men and women.Alot of the women have used the word creepy and make fun of him , i just find it bizzare that he's perceived as creepy just from being friendly, but then again i dont know the full scope of what he says or does, but from what i have seen he is just a very friendly mentally retarded boy who means well. Also i overheard women at work talking about how stuck up and weird i am, also that i'm anti-social etc. which is true i do kind of keep a low profile and mind my own business. but i find it kind of odd that i'm considered weird for not being overly friendly with the women when they talk about how much it annoys them that all the male co-workers flirt with them. so ladies, what is your personal definition of a creepy guy? are all men creeps until proven otherwise? does physical attraction play a role? if a man is physically unattractive to you is he a creep if he is nice and friendly? is a man creepy if he minds his own business and doesnt flirt ? IP: Logged |
Hera
Moderator Posts: 4574
From: the OR
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted July 23, 2012 06:12 AM
Unwanted advances are creepy to me. Period. Regardless of looks. IP: Logged |
Hera
Moderator Posts: 4574
From: the OR
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted July 23, 2012 06:20 AM
"Creepy" can also be a vibe, even though the guy may seem harmless. Hard to explain. But even if we're just friends, I do think of some as creeps because I find them bizarre/awkward. They just give the impression that the niceness is only on the surface but on the inside they're nurturing some nasty thoughts. That is what I find creepy about a guy. I have pretty good instincts, people that I have labeled creepy (just for myself, I don't go around making fun of ppl) eventually turned out to be quite dangerous. So yeah, creeps stay away. There's also the fact that some men act with too much familiarity when we're not there yet. Like touching my shoulder or my hand during first contacts. That is creepy. I like distance in the beginning until I warm up to the person. Them coming into my personal space (physically, verbally by calling me sweet names or emotionally) gives me the creeps and feel the need to take few steps back. IP: Logged |
RegardesPlatero
Moderator Posts: 4367
From:
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted July 23, 2012 06:21 AM
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RegardesPlatero
Moderator Posts: 4367
From:
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted July 23, 2012 06:28 AM
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aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 4504
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted July 23, 2012 06:32 AM
ok regardes lol, pretty sure nobody said anybody is entitled to anybody.IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 4504
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted July 23, 2012 06:43 AM
i'm not sure why you responded so hatefully,i just made a post asking what women would construe as creepy,and shared my opinion and observations, thats all i did. geeze . -_-IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 37925
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted July 23, 2012 06:47 AM
To me, creepy in any person, is a person who is lying to himself/herself.
It does not have to be sexual, at all. It is someone who has a big freaking fake face and underneath is simmering with resentment, jealousy, rage and anger but hides it under an Eddie Haskell smile.
If you don't know Eddie, he was a huge suck up, teacher's pet kind of person, but he did everything behind everyone's back. That is a freaking creep.
This is not related to you Aquaguy, but you can tell I am dealing with one.
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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
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aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 4504
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted July 23, 2012 06:50 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Ami Anne:
To me, creepy in any person, is a person who is lying to himself/herself.
It does not have to be sexual, at all. It is someone who has a big freaking fake face and underneath is simmering with resentment, jealousy, rage and anger but hides it under an Eddie Haskell smile.
If you don't know Eddie, he was a huge suck up, teacher's pet kind of person, but he did everything behind everyone's back. That is a freaking creep.
This is not related to you Aquaguy, but you can tell I am dealing with one, as of now.
yes unfortunately alot of that goes aroundIP: Logged |
sand
Knowflake Posts: 7000
From:
Registered: May 2011
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posted July 23, 2012 06:55 AM
I think it's about attraction. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 37925
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted July 23, 2012 06:56 AM
YEP Aquaguy
You have to trust yourself. I am forcing myself to trust myself, in all of my interactions. If I have a weird feeling, I will step out and say it. It has never been wrong.
You don't feel creepy, at all, to me. Your picture on FB does.
You need some woman to take a new picture of you.  IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 4504
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted July 23, 2012 07:01 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Ami Anne:
YEP Aquaguy
You have to trust yourself. I am forcing myself to trust myself, in all of my interactions. If I have a weird feeling, I will step out and say it. It has never been wrong.
You don't feel creepy, at all, to me. Your picture on FB does.
You need some woman to take a new picture of you.
lol i dont smile for cameras,i hate taking pictures  i know i'm not, i've never been told i was that i can recall, maybe behind my back lol.
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RegardesPlatero
Moderator Posts: 4367
From:
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted July 23, 2012 07:04 AM
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aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 4504
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted July 23, 2012 07:09 AM
quote:
Originally posted by sand:
I think it's about attraction.
yea i think so too, but thats what makes things soo tricky. because men are generally expected to make the moves, and women are pretty hard to read sometimes, so its really a shot in the dark approaching, and i understand fully that women may or may not say yes or be interested,and thats her right , but at the same time i think its a little screwed up to say the guy is a creep for having put his neck out. IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 4504
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted July 23, 2012 07:35 AM
quote:
Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:
Because the "nice guy" mentality frustrates me. I honestly don't feel like you really understand what it's like to experience sexual harassment/street harassment/sexual assault (all of which I have experienced, and I continue to experience street harassment on a regular basis). I feel like you have a dismissive attitude towards those kind of concerns. I also feel invalidated because you seem to feel that it's OK to approach or flirt with a woman, regardless of her own feelings, and that she's a bad person if she feels angry, acts out, or is creeped out/freaked out (judging from your comments about how women are "rude" if a guy hits on them, which invalidates her feelings and her boundaries). Women are constantly pressure to be "nice" when guys act like that, and not to be assertive, and that is frustrating and painful. It's even more frustrating and painful to have that reinforced. You comment a lot that girls "friend zone" guys (the whole concept of the "friend zone" is one that is deeply insulting to women because it implies that their only worth is sexual), that they don't have the right to their feelings about this (mainly when their feelings are negative), and telling them how they should feel about these issues. Frankly, it's hurtful and demeaning in addition to frustrating. I've tried to explain it over and over again, and I feel burned out because I don't feel like I am really being listened to at all, or validated. I honestly didn't mean to be hateful, but being invalidated hurts almost as much as being harassed and assaulted. Moreover, it hurts because other men that I know in real life also do this, and no amount of education seems to stop it. I don't know what to do about it anymore and just feel like giving up trying to even raise any kind of awareness because no one listens.
i never told you or anybody else for that matter how to feel. ilisten, i am not trying to invalidate your ferlings or opinions, it just happens that mine different. i think you are an exceptional case because you have had bad experiences with men, plus you have said you are asexual i believe and arent interested in any type of relationship, so i fully understand why it is extremely uncomforyable for you to be approachex by men. i'm not saying women owe men anything, i just think if the situation doesnt call for the man to be labeled a creep, its not fair to call him a creep, but thats just my opinion. there are women out there who want to meet a man, and maybe she would be open to meeting us guys, but we dont know if she is or not, but you have to stick your neck out and find out. also i would like to just say men have no way of knowing whether or not a woman is interssted or not in dating, or meeting them for that matter, we pretty much have to guess, and we wont know for sure unless we introduce ourselves. i understand why you feel the way you do though.however i know there are women who
want to meet a man though, maybe not me ,but another guy, how else is a guy supposed to know unless he tries and see how she responds? i understand this a tricky dynamic all around, for men and women involved. On the one hand you have women who hate being approached, but on the other hand you have women talking amongst themselves saying why isnt he making a move? lol so its tricky for the a guy to know which one he is dealing with. so i just think if the guy is nice about it and not rude he has the right to be rejected with dignity. so again i understand fully why you feel the way you do  . but also would just like to say that i have also felt invalidated by you, when i try to give you the guys side of how it feels to be rudely rejected for simply making the mistake of saying hi , you said the mans feelings dont matter at all , those were your exact words in another thread. i have stated that i support and understand your stance on the issue now that i know your experiences and orientation. but just imagine for a moment that you are a man, you are single and want meet a woman, so you spot one who peeks your curiosity, so you approach nervously and say hey and she says " get away from me loser or not in a million years dirtbag or something along those lines. and all you had try to do was say hi and get to know her, you may as a man be able to understand why she is skiddish with guys, but it still doesnt take away the pain her words had on your self esteem and confidence. i fully understand and support women and their endeavors to protect themselves, but i just think that rudeness is not called for in situations where the man is not being threatening or rude himself. i'm not lying when i say that women have literally ripped my self esteem to shreds for trying to talk to them. i understand a woman has the right to say no, but i dont think its called for for her to treat me like sh!t when i wasnt being rude in the first place, if they say im not interested or im busy/ i have to go,i would say ok sorry for being a bother. lolIP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 37925
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted July 23, 2012 07:53 AM
Aquaguy
I know what you mean. It must be really hard to find the balance. The bad boys seem to get all the girls, too, which must be frustrating.
I will give you my take, as a woman. I like a guy who is confident, will approach me and it playful friendly and flirty.
I don't like a creep which is a guy who is simmering with unfaced emotions, with a fake smile on his face.
I can deal with unwanted advances. I can say no without making a guy feel like a jerk.
I like when men compliment me or find me attractive. If someone is doing unwanted things, I can tell him. I have never had anyone force himself on me, or anything even near that. I think it is because I have a natural confidence with men and like men. This is a blessing. My sun has all good aspects. I think you can see this, in the chart.
Find confident woman who can deal with a fun, flirty type of guy, as I think you are. I get that vibe from you and I like it. It is a nice vibe.
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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 4504
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted July 23, 2012 08:23 AM
also heres another explanation for the friendzone issue from my perspective, its not that i dont value the girl as a person, its just that it gets a little frustrating always just being the friend, i'm human just like everybody else and desire companionship like everyone does in to some extent, it just so happens that i desire a romantic connection from a woman, thats just what i want. yes she has every right to say no , but at the same time i have the right to say platonic friendship is just not what i'm looking for and try to find a woman who wants that with me .i am frankly getting tired of everyone on here telling me i am selfish for wanting to date somebody lol, that is extremely hypocritical because alot of women on the board are always talking about men they are interested in,but i dont consider them selfish . also it ticks me off that you imply that all i want is sex, believe it or not some of us guys actually want something real. and thats whats whats frustrating to me, knowing that i really am a nice guy and always being the guy women want to talk to about their relationships but never being the guy they wanna date lol. im sorry if being frustrated about that makes me a terrible person lol.IP: Logged |
Venus
Moderator Posts: 1582
From:
Registered: Mar 2011
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posted July 23, 2012 08:27 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Ami Anne:
Aquaguy
I can deal with unwanted advances. I can say no without making a guy feel like a jerk.
i think this is key. just because you think a person is "wierd" or a "creep" or gives you unwanted advances doesn't mean you have to be rude to them. you should be polite or you might break his heart.. IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 4504
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted July 23, 2012 08:35 AM
so i would appreciate it if people on here would quit attacking my character and integrity. ya'll want to know the biggest reason i am against being friends with women i am interested in? ok i'll tell ya. in all my past experiences with the whole i only see you as a friend deal, i was used by the girl everytime. they saw me as an alternative source of attention when their boyfriends werent around and nothing more, all they ever freaking talked about was their relationships and asked me for advice on them , also for emotional support when said guys had hurt them. so can ya'll see now why im not a big fan of these situations? if having self respect and not being a doormat makes me selfish, then im shamelessly selfish .IP: Logged |
charmainec
Moderator Posts: 5651
From: Venus next to Randall
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 23, 2012 08:50 AM
A creep is disrespectful, makes you feel uncomfortable by invading your space and continues to flirt despite being told "NOT INTERESTED". A creep is also a liar.------------------
quote:
Remember, love can conquer the influences of the planets....It can even eliminate karma.
Linda GoodmanIP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 37925
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted July 23, 2012 09:10 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Venus:
i think this is key. just because you think a person is "wierd" or a "creep" or gives you unwanted advances doesn't mean you have to be rude to them. you should be polite or you might break his heart..
Yes, I remember I was selling a product.One guy turned me down but he did it in such a way that I still felt validated and important.
I never forgot that. You can say no and still not violate a person's dignity.
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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
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mercuranian
Knowflake Posts: 702
From: uranus
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 23, 2012 12:48 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Hera:
Unwanted advances are creepy to me. Period. Regardless of looks.
word
IP: Logged |
Hera
Moderator Posts: 4574
From: the OR
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted July 23, 2012 01:16 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Venus:
i think this is key. just because you think a person is "wierd" or a "creep" or gives you unwanted advances doesn't mean you have to be rude to them. you should be polite or you might break his heart..
I agree. I always try to find a way to not hurt them. Problem is when they insist.  IP: Logged |
Junethird
Moderator Posts: 2914
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted July 23, 2012 03:03 PM
I like being approached by men. I like being complimented. I can accept a compliment and say thanks. And i can say no thank you iam not interested when asked for my number. I think it all comes down to being polite and acknowledging someones effort. It takes guts to approach a woman... I know when i want to say "hi" to a cute guy i usually make an excuse like, excuse me do you the time? Or iam lost i need directions lol silly, but its a safe approach. I only call guys creepy, when they dont take the hint that iam not interested or they are being rude/obnoxious and just plain offensive. Stalking is very creepy. IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 4504
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted July 23, 2012 03:22 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Junethird:
I like being approached by men. I like being complimented. I can accept a compliment and say thanks. And i can say no thank you iam not interested when asked for my number. I think it all comes down to being polite and acknowledging someones effort. It takes guts to approach a woman... I know when i want to say "hi" to a cute guy i usually make an excuse like, excuse me do you the time? Or iam lost i need directions lol silly, but its a safe approach. I only call guys creepy, when they dont take the hint that iam not interested or they are being rude/obnoxious and just plain offensive. Stalking is very creepy.
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