posted August 07, 2008 09:27 AM            

I come from a background where I have never seen a good model of marriage. Therefore my reservations about being married are based on a lack of knowledge because I don't understand it.

I don't understand why there should be contracts and worldly elements to something spiritual like the love between two people. I think that getting married is fear based. It think people get married because they are afraid of being alone or afraid of being materially insecure because two heads are better than one when it comes to making money etc.

Also, I feel that marriage perpetuates obligations and guilt. When married a person will endure pain, lack of freedom and sometimes even abuse to avoid divorce whereas if there was no contract I feel that a person would be in a union because they want to, not because of a promise they made years ago which is no longer true.

posted August 07, 2008 10:18 AM            

I understand your views.There are some people that marry or are forced to marry for the wrong reasons.

I was reading that in our country there is no such thing as common law marriage. So in the event a couple has been living together for 7 years and something happens to one of the partners that partner will not have any legal claims to any posessions of the deceased spouse unless a will was drawn up.

posted August 07, 2008 11:50 AM            

Though I know people who have said their partner changed as soon as the ring was on their finger, or as one friend put it, "it was a catalyst for everything that was wrong with the relationship."

posted August 10, 2008 03:26 AM              

I find now a days relationships are rushed and people move in together way too quickly. The time to develop a stable relationship is not taken and I think it is what is missing.

Maybe the institution of marriage should be buried cause the divorce rate is up there. I wish there was a way to figure out if a couple will be together for the long haul - but as somebody here said we have so many freedoms today than they were many decades ago. Times have changed too and there is more information and understanding about people and life. Life in the 1950s was majorly different than it is now - but back then I figure there was more abuse and lack of knowledge in social areas of society. Behaviors were wrong yet it existed and prevailed over other things.....There was a strong "You made your bed - now go lie in it mentality" and nobody dared to leave the marriage. (I have had many elderly client while working in home care telling me what life was like back then...."

I'm not sure what got a couple down the aisle is different than today. You look at today and I think marriage is mocked and not really sacred ground any more - like if a person can get married in Vegas easily, then so be it.

The values that we hold are different from a while back - and so are our traditions. I don't know if the sanctity in marriage will ever return. Some folks think they will love and cherish their mate forever but many things are overlooked and love sometimes fails and doesn't conquer all.

That's my mixed up two but rant for you.....

ID

posted December 29, 2012 09:35 AM            

I believe in the "hilly dilly" of love too .

It is an expression of selfless love. To step aside of self and commit to somene/something other than urges/wants/desires. To express love and commitment binds families and communities together in ways carousing and self addiction can not.

Humans are pack animals and the highest expression of that is marriage to one you love. We live in a human throw away society and that is devolving not evolving

posted December 29, 2012 09:49 AM            

quote:

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I believe in the "hilly dilly" of love too .

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posted December 29, 2012 09:55 AM            

On another note there are some people who fought to have the right to marry both inter-racially and people of different sexual orientations. So I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting to express the feeling of love for one another.