posted August 03, 2012 07:49 AM            

Just my point of frustration as I watch another period come and think, what the H*ell.

Maybe we're just not meant to have kids, I know I should feel better cause we're only in late 20's but really, it doesn't make me any happier to hear that said or thought.

Maybe I'm meant to have kids with someone else, maybe my husband is too...I just don't know. But if I make myself any crazier, if we start doing all that TTC cr*ap, where you take your temp, pee on sticks to determine when to have sex, check internal "fluid", etc, I really will go mad.

Maybe my marriage is about to implode and God is saving me from the mess, I just keep spiraling in a bad place as this continues....I can't take the not-drinking cause oh, we ****Might**** be, the watching the calendar to figure of when my period is due, the neurotics of this all...

I'm just ready to throw in the towel and say, whatever, God, you can keep your babies, I'll just take a house full of cats, and never have unprotected sex again. Or just get sterilized so I'm never doubting again...seems oh so much simpler.

posted August 03, 2012 08:57 AM            

This isn't worth your marriage imploding. Seriously.

I can only provide the male perspective, and that of a husband.

As far as your husband goes, it isn't about trying even more frequently. Trying harder means making lifestyle changes to improve his condition. He needs to recuperate and generate sperm. Ensure he doesn't partake in the typical male diet, and also ensure that he doesn't just eat salads. Fruits and vegetables are very important to male potency, but protein is just as important. He needs at least six hours of solid rem sleep and he needs to drink lots of fluids. If he is serious about conceiving, *he* needs to lay off the alcohol. Studies have shown inconclusive results with regard to caffeine, especially coffee, which is said also reduce female fertility. Anyway, common sense is the order of the day and one cup of coffee can't possibly hurt.

Another thing. This may sound very gross, but has to be said. Some men.. I said some.. have sex exclusively with their wives.. but also engage in private bathroom interludes with their hands. Ensure that he doesn't have sex outside of baby-making, period. Any release outside of baby-making just reduces sperm count further.

posted August 03, 2012 09:12 AM            

Have you seen a doctor yet?

posted August 04, 2012 01:10 AM            

If i may... Try doing it in the car. Thats what worked both times as the angle was *ahem* perfect for deposit. calm your nerves... Stressing about wanting to get pregnant is the biggest inhibition. No stress... It happened to me. Was not expecting to get knocked up so quickly after my second miscarriage. We were trying but not trying... And i remember distinctly a bottle of wine playing a part. Also try abstaining from sex for one or two weeks... No hand releases for him. He needs to be nice and full.

Charting etc is stressfull... Altho iam not active ttc, i still chart my progress but its not for everyone.

posted August 04, 2012 02:31 AM            

But just out of curiosity, would adoption work? Or is "biological kinship" a must?

posted August 04, 2012 03:25 AM            

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Remember, love can conquer the influences of the planets....It can even eliminate karma.

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posted August 04, 2012 07:55 AM            

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
I'm sorry that this is upsetting you and such a problem.

But just out of curiosity, would adoption work? Or is "biological kinship" a must?

No judgment here, only curiosity and looking for pieces of the puzzle that help me understand the human condition.

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posted August 04, 2012 08:15 AM            

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Originally posted by Junethird:
Iam sorry to read about your struggles with ttc. Iam waiting until next year to start the journey all over again.

If i may... Try doing it in the car. Thats what worked both times as the angle was *ahem* perfect for deposit. calm your nerves... Stressing about wanting to get pregnant is the biggest inhibition. No stress... It happened to me. Was not expecting to get knocked up so quickly after my second miscarriage. We were trying but not trying... And i remember distinctly a bottle of wine playing a part. Also try abstaining from sex for one or two weeks... No hand releases for him. He needs to be nice and full.

Charting etc is stressfull... Altho iam not active ttc, i still chart my progress but its not for everyone.

Much love Good luck

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posted August 04, 2012 10:00 AM            

After he finishes in you, you should lay still in bed on your back and not get up. You should prop up your legs and just lie still for a good 10 minutes.

Your episodes would best be in the morning before he goes to work, after a forced 7 hours of pure sleep. That way, he would be rested and have reduced work stress. It'll not be possible to relief him of all stress, but there are ways like a massage before bedtime.

posted August 04, 2012 11:45 AM            

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Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
A man without release for about 10 days would be very fertile.

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Actually, he would have a lot of old and dying sperm. That's why they don't suggest a man abstain for more than 5 days before a semen analysis.

*IF* there is a sperm issue with your partner then sex every other day instead of every day during your period is advisable Plus, keep him excited for as long as possible before release which I think you've already mentioned.

There are some natural supplements you both can use to help out. Specifically for him - Maca (powder or pill form). FertileAid or Fertility Blend (for men and women) are good.

Plus there are some very easy blood tests your doctor can do to check your hormone levels to make sure that's all working smoothly, an HSG to make sure your tubes are open and don't have any obstructions in the uterus, etc.

posted August 04, 2012 11:58 AM            

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Originally posted by Virgo-AriesArtist:
Thanks so much, Junethird, I really appreciate your response. We'll definitely have to try the car for our "fun", and since you are the second one to suggest him abstaining from "release" for a little while prior, I will pass that suggestion along to him. He's feeling frustrated too, even though technically we only been trying 6 of the last 9 months since our marriage, with a 3 month gap in between the first month, and the most recent 5 as I was not sure how much of the emotional roller coaster I could take at that time, especially considering we had been in a major car wreck the day after our wedding and I was still healing up from that.

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The car is uncomfortabel but easier to muster a "deeper" angle plus its fun to try and spice things up lol

Like YTA suggested propp your legs up... on car dash board and go for a nice drive.

In the bedroom use the wall to prop your legs up and put a pillow to tilt your pelvis higher. Fall asleep with his seed inside of you. Dont go pee or anything. Just hold it for aslong as you can.

And you must be climaxing before he finishes... The closer you are to reaching or during your peak is ideal. Easier for the sperm to wiggle along. And the cervix is more welcoming/fertile or something like that.... Ladies always finish first lol.

But most importantly relaxxxxx. Stay calm and dont stress about being preggers or not. It wont help, so why worry?! Have a glass of wine, bubble bath, romantic getaway and just enjoy.

If you want... Try aiming for when you are ovulating. Keeping an eye on your cervical mucus or vaginal discharge is very insightful. Before you know it you be a pro at detecting your fertile week.

posted August 04, 2012 12:49 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by MoonWitch:

Actually, he would have a lot of old and dying sperm. That's why they don't suggest a man abstain for more than 5 days before a semen analysis.

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posted August 04, 2012 12:58 PM            

Obviously, you are fertile. I don't expect fertile people to understand the pain and challenges of the infertile.

posted August 04, 2012 09:53 PM            

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Originally posted by Junethird:
I found this thread In health and healing interesting
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum3/HTML/003019.html

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