posted September 12, 2012 02:34 PM            

My ex bf and his mom have an extremely creepy relationship. They are VERY close and I mean before he and I met they talked every single day on the phone and it suddenly stopped when I came into his life and I know she went crazy over this.

Then she came all the way from chicago and MADE him leave me and I just don't understand how a 25 year old man can be this way with his mother.

Can someone please tell me what is normal and what isn't for a young man and the relationship with his mother. It kills me that he lets her control his life and I think she is extremely jealous of what we share and that's why she wants us apart. She wants him to herself and i seriously am disturbed by this. I love him so much but I don't know why he is so dependent on her and she to him. I think she is sad that every man in her life has left her and now her last son is going to leave her for me and she will do everything in her power to make sure this doesn't happen.

posted September 12, 2012 02:51 PM            

I'm a Sag and I live 5000 miles away from my family. The distance works wonders!

Is his mom a Cancer then?

I'm sorry you went through this. Her actions were ridiculous and in no way the norm. Their attachment shouldn't prevent him from having a relationship. It's unhealthy and creepy.

I relate to the bond Cancers and Saggies feel. I'm dating a Cancer myself.

posted September 12, 2012 02:58 PM            

It isn't unusual in certain cultures for mothers to be involved in their sons' lives forever. I know somebody who "reports" everything to his mother even though he is over 50 years old and she is over 70 years old, and despite him being married. Even worse, I know a 45 year old who lives with his mother, along with his wife and two daughters, so that he can continue pleasing his mother primarily even though he has been married for a long time.

posted September 12, 2012 03:04 PM            

I don't think it's bad to have a good relationship with your parents. But I am not this close to my parents and everytime we had a fight he would call her and act like a victim!

Meanwhile I never call my parents and never ask them for money and she even paid his rent for a long time and he was never taking care of himself.

posted September 12, 2012 03:07 PM            

athenegoddess, I have had this said to me a million times and I think it's finally sinking in.

If a man wants to be with you, he would do the impossible. He would get a job, he would clean up his act, he would "break up" with his mother.

It's a very, VERY hard pill to swallow but it's true.

posted September 12, 2012 03:10 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Yin:
Someone needs to teach a self-worth class on these boards.
Why do decent women fall in love with men who don't deserve them?
I'd totally sign up.

---

posted September 12, 2012 03:16 PM            

------------------
Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted September 12, 2012 03:38 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by aquaguy91:
yea he is way over the top with his mom. but I never have understood why women have such a problem with men loving their moms in general, what's wrong with it? lol I love my momma and I am not ashamed to say so, hell she raised me, she's the number 1 woman in my life, it would take a very special woman to change that, but she will never replace my momma. any woman who has a problem with that isn't for me.

---

I will never date a man who doesn't love his mom. I just don't want to be compared to her as if she can ever be what I can be for my man.
She's the mom. I'm the gf. Those are two different things.

posted September 12, 2012 03:38 PM            

he is just really immature and before me he never had a serious girlfriend. i was his first real true love. i was his first real experience and i know i came into his life to teach him a thing or two.

when she came to get him, i was asking him if i can stay in the apartment because i was paying the rent. and he simply refused to help me and this is where things got ugly. but in the end i was justified. but it was painful having him be so weak. i even called the cops and they told him he must let me stay in the apartment but his mother was trying to do everything in her power to ruin my life and make me homeless.

posted September 12, 2012 03:41 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by athenegoddess:
well i don't care if he loves her. thats fine. but they were ganging up on me and she was like protecting him when they were wrong in the first place. i was alone, by myself with nobody to protect me.

but i am strong and i will recover from this. i am much stronger than him and this is what gives me courage. he might have had his mother to save him, but when that day comes when he doesn't have anyone to turn to, he will have to learn what it feels like.

---

Yes, you will recover and yes, he will figure it out someday.

I wish I could give you a hug.

posted September 12, 2012 04:04 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by aquaguy91:
yea he is way over the top with his mom. but I never have understood why women have such a problem with men loving their moms in general, what's wrong with it? lol I love my momma and I am not ashamed to say so, hell she raised me, she's the number 1 woman in my life, it would take a very special woman to change that, but she will never replace my momma. any woman who has a problem with that isn't for me.

---

Seriously. I understand loving your mom, but you need to move on, dude. No one will replace your mom, but you've got to stop thinking of mom and the #1 woman in your life, or you won't get married.

When I married, I made it perfectly clear to everyone. I didn't chose my birth family. I chose my marriage family.

posted September 12, 2012 04:05 PM            

My most painful time was when Saturn was in Virgo squaring my Venus/Mercury t squaring Mars and Saturn/Uranus. My gosh. Pain like I never knew. But I had to experience it and I'm glad I did.

posted September 12, 2012 04:14 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by athenegoddess:
YTA, you're amazing.

---

Thank you very much for your very kind compliment, and I will accept it, but I am not worthy of it. I'm not amazing. I just love my wife more than anything else in the world.

posted September 12, 2012 04:18 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:

Seriously. I understand loving your mom, but you need to move on, dude. No one will replace your mom, but you've got to stop thinking of mom and the #1 woman in your life, or you won't get married.

When I married, I made it perfectly clear to everyone. I didn't chose my birth family. I chose my marriage family.

Marriage is #1 and that is absolute and final. Everything else and everyone else can kiss our collective butts.

---

posted September 12, 2012 04:23 PM            

The difference here is my wife overrides and supercedes everything anyone else in the world says. If whoever says X and wife says Y, then Y it is. Period. That's my stance.

And don't get me started with friends. The old saying goes: want a friend, get a dog. I think I trust my dog more than almost everyone else. And I have everything in the 11th House too. So what?

Yours is obviously different, and that is cool with me.