posted October 23, 2012 03:28 PM            

The incident and some discussions with my closest girlfriend, brought me to think about why people cheat and the consequences of cheating. Also, what is the point is to fight over someone who has cheated on you?

Honestly, I could think of many reasons why cheating happens but am still shocked as to why anyone would physically fight over someone who has hurt them. I have never fought over a man and never will. The way I see it, if he was game to be "stolen" then his heart truly wasn't mine to begin with.

posted October 23, 2012 08:32 PM            

Unlike many people I also understand that the one my partner would be cheating with may not realize s/he's taken, and thus as much a victim as I am.

I can understand "extenuating circumstances" (such as show up in more than one TV show I've seen which are extremely unlikely yet plausible) but having never experienced them I don't know how I'd react to it. Of course understanding doesn't mean "free pass," let alone "automatic forgiveness."

And ever heard of "dyke drama"? While the term is used vaguely at times, it technically refers to the drama that inevitably happens among lesbians when one or both lesbians are close friends with so many exes.

Would I fight? Not likely, save with my partner whom I trusted if s/he strayed. The only way I'd likely lash out at the other person is if I trusted that person as well (like a close friend), or if s/he was so blatant about trying to seduce my SO as to be doing it right in front of me and knowing we were already a couple (as I'd see that as an insult and a challenge equivalent to the thrown glove). First time it was done right in front of me I'd expect my SO to send the would-be home wrecker packing with a refusal in no uncertain terms, but after that I'd step in myself. My strong Libra/air allows me a certain detachment and tendency to try to see things from another POV rather than my own but it's best not to stoke my Leo & Sag fire too much as even I have my limits.

posted October 24, 2012 10:57 PM            

. I would be ****** if someone was directly trying to pick up my spouse, knowing he is married as that would be disrespecting me and our children. I'd put the person in their place, and probably toss him out the window if he encouraged it. I'd be ****** at the third person but not as much, as that person didn't make a promise to me and could care less what happens to our family, but my husband should care.

I think that aside from affairs of boredom/sex, emotionally based flings usually arise because something is crucially haywire in the primary relationship. Versus a one night sex adventure (which is still awful), emotionally connections arise and grow w time and if the issue isn't addressed, it will probably keep happening.

For that reason also, Id be angrier at my spouse.. If it wouldn't of happened w this third person then it would happen w someone else. I'd still be angry at the mistress, but would probably see it like she just took advantage of a bad situation.

I don't know if I'd verbally confront her, as that is just beneath me... I'd feel stupid fighting over a man who obviously didn't cherish me, and wouldn't want to give him the satisfaction of watching me make an idiot of myself in public. Id probably blow out his car, clean out the savings, ensure he doesnt a penny more than half our assets/property in dovorce, destroy his pictures and kick him out never to return.

posted October 25, 2012 09:26 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by doommlord:
I would never forgive if someone cheated on me....i would rip his dirty **** and beat him to death with it

Fidelity is very important to me and as i know i wouldnt cheat i expect the same treatment

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posted October 25, 2012 09:27 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by doommlord:
I would never forgive if someone cheated on me....i would rip his dirty **** and beat him to death with it

Fidelity is very important to me and as i know i wouldnt cheat i expect the same treatment

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posted October 25, 2012 09:28 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by cathy:
No, I would'nt forgive a cheater. No, I'd never fight over anyone. I've noticed that cheaters are suspicious of their mates, I guess that makes sense.

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posted October 26, 2012 01:21 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by PhoenixFire:
I just witnessed a physical fight outside of my work building, over a love affair. A man a

What do you all think? Would you forgive someone who cheated on you? Is there ever any situation in which cheating is forgiveable? Would you ever or have you ever fought over a man/woman?

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depends on the relationship. You don't really own another person ever, so it is almost impossible to "cheat". If you decide that you want to form a relationship and depend on other people then you are naturally going to be upset when they want to break free, even if for a while. Oh and fighting over a man or woman is childish. It is what little kids do. Fight over toys. Some immature girls like that but they are kids themselves. The guy is fighting over the girl because he sees her as property or a possession. So, NO, fighting is never good, it shows a weakness or instability somewhere in the relationship. If a person gets cheated on, instead of reacting like an idiot and causing more negativity and violence, they should just be enlightened and see and say, "whoa, they want to be with sonmeone else, that is cool"......then you have two options. You either stay with them and YOU get to do stuff with other women, you can be a door mat and just accept cheating or you can say, nah, if I can't have you, then you just deal with what you traded me for. Deuces.