posted November 04, 2012 12:33 AM            

So...

I've met him two months ago in an odd situation. When we were alone, he started a conversation about how lonely he is and that now that he's old (he's 14 years older than me), no girl wanted him and it was sure that I would reject someone like him as well. I told him I HATED men who play the victim. He told me that there was a difference between playing the victim and being a victim. For this and his wolf's eyes, he had me.

Not that I was looking for a serious relationship and not that I would ever trust him in fidelity matters (I have my reasons, but oddly enough, it doesn't bother me). He never told me he was looking for a serious relationship as well, so... we started having fun together, just it.

Then one day we started to talk about some serious, intense fetishes, Scorpio/Pluto related (and note, please, that he didn't push me to that; actually, I am the one who started the conversation by my own will because of a hint he gave me). I've been curious about this kind of fetishes for some years now, and somehow I felt he was the one to experiment this. He causes me the right feelings for this, let's say.

And so we started to live this. He has experience on this, I don't, and he is respecting this as well (so that he only started anything on this matter when I told him I was sure I wanted).

And even being something so intense, out of the context we are fairly normal, we talk, we laugh, we respect each other's space and freedom and he never tried to control anything in my life. He seems to have little interest in plays the boyfriend or anything like that.

But he is interested in continue our relationship, the way it is and the way it is heading on the sexual context. He makes plans about this.

One day, right when we started dating, I told him I was monogamous, like, really, I was never able to kiss someone today, kiss someone else tomorrow and then kiss the first one again. So, if somehow I find someone (because I'm not looking for), we would stop seeing each other. He told me then it was just natural.

Last time we saw each other he told me something like "Would you be really able to stop seeing me if you find a boyfriend? Nah... I don't think so... I think you would still call me."

Yes, shame on me, I like this kind of men and it didn't bothered me, mostly because I don't think I will find a boyfriend anytime soon. Specially because he has everything I want by now, including respecting space and freedom.

BUT... I found out his birth data and it scared me a lot when I saw our synastry and composite chart.

SYNASTRY
COMPOSITE

His Mars conjunct my Sun.
His Pluto opposite my Venus.
His Mars opposite my Pluto.
His Saturn square my Venus.
His Sun opposite my Moon.
My DC falls on his AC.
My AC falls on his DC.
His Venus conjunct my North Node.
His Sun conjunct my IC.

In the composite...

Mars conjunct Chiron, Moon and MC, and all of it is opposite Uranus/IC.
North Node conjunct DC.
Jupiter conjunct Vertex, at the 7th House.

It bothers me because it seems to have TOO MUCH intensity going on there. I recognize the intense nature of what we are doing on bed, but it would be scaring if it crosses the line.

So far I trusted him and he never gave me reason not to. He has experience, he is mature, he is protective to the ones he loves, he is a good father, he get along very well with his ex-wife. Yes, he has done crazy stuff in his life, but he seems to be really responsable now. And as I said, he seems to have no interest in being present on my daily life, controling me, being jealous etc. I call him more often then he calls me.

So note that so far I don't have any real evidence that something bad will happen. I like him. I must confess I like what we're having, just the way it is. So far the only thing that bothers me are these charts, lol

(Another thing that may be bothering me but it's hard to admit, is that I may be afraid of falling hard for him, for real, because somehow I feel like he's everything I wanted in some points and I would be really lost if I fall in love for him because it wouldn't be easy, in any sense).

posted November 06, 2012 02:48 PM            

Randall, thank you!

YoursTrulyAlways, I'm 25 and he's 39. He's my first older guy (this older, at least), and comparing to my past experiences, he's being doing great in some points. Sometimes I ask myself why did I never tried an older guy before.

I get your point, it's really strange that me, a girl, a Taurus girl, who likes him, is perfectly fine with things as they are. But I am. Even if I end up falling for him (no, it didn't happen so far), the thought of having a relationship with him, a NORMAL one, is weird... I can't see myself introducing him to my parents and doing boyfriend/girlfriend stuff. But I can see myself keeping things as they are, a BDSM relationship, sexually intense, for years if it came to that.

posted November 12, 2012 11:45 AM            

There's a very nice Sun/Venus progression going on between you both?
Your Progressed Venus applying to his Progressed Sun? (trine?)

(That's often the case when there's a Sun/Venus quincunx between both charts)

posted December 21, 2012 08:58 PM            

But first, mir, no. There's my progressed Sun trine his progressed Jupiter and my progressed Venus trine his progressed Moon but that's pretty much all of the good stuff that's going on with these planets.

Ok, so I'm not as afraid as I was first. He's proving himself to be a very careful man, when it's about my personal life and my safety. We're kinda building intimacy, like, sometimes we talk about other stuff and I'm finding out other interests in common. We're developing our communication, and I, as a Mars in Gemini (ruler of Venus in Aries), I am kinda softening because of this.

I don't know. Soon I will travel to another city, miles away, for vacations, and I will be there for almost a whole month. I can tell he's insecure about this. More than once he used his Dom power (while in session with me) to make me swear I won't hang out/have sex with anyone else without his permission. This didn't **** me off, tho. First because if I am with someone, I just can't be with somebody else, and even if he's not my boyfriend, I am with him. Second because, yeah, I like to see him a little insecure and third, I like it when he demands something from me. The slave inside me feels glad.

So I don't know if it's all about insecurity, but the last time we saw each other he was... sweet? lol... He was sweet in his own way, bragging that we'll sex date forever, even if I get married with someone else, and when I said no, I would never marry to not be faithful, he bragged that if he could propose to me, I would say yes. But marriage is kind of a HUGE DEAL, so I told him I wouldn't :P Later, in the after sex, I told him I am someone who loses interest too fast so I can't even think about "forever", but MAYBE a couple years. He only said he knew. Then I told him I was proud of having him as my Master, and he said he was happy of having me as his slave. Anyway...

There's another thing that changed, the reason why I think he "can't propose". Not a wife, thank the Lord, but another girl. Ok, I KNOW, and I did know since the beginning, I am not the only one. And he is very much discreet in this matter, I only acknowledged this girl specifically because she's his slave too and he wanted us three together some day. I know he asked her, but he never came back with an answer, so I'm sure it's a no. After this I started noticing, she's a big deal to him, something special, I started to think about her as his favorite. They travel together, she makes comments about his daughters at Facebook as if she knows them, and keep posting a lot of love song and messages to him. When he told me he would ask her, he made it clear that he would have to find a way to do this. So that she doesn't knows who am I. So now I keep thinking if, maybe, she is his girlfriend or something and he lies to her about the others so he can keep her happy. No doubt she's important and he's afraid of losing her, even tho I think it’s wrong to lie to her, if that’s how he does it.

It's hard because I don't see any reason to be bothered, like, if he's lying to her, it's their business, not mine. And he's so discreet about all this that I really feel that I may not be like her to him, but I am someone he cherishes, and most important of all, he doesn't lie to me (I know that if someday I ask him what's going on between them, if she's his girlfriend or if she knows she's special and everything but he has a lot of ladies, he would answer me sincerely). I don't know, I respect her place in his life, I already seem her in person in an occasion and I did not said a word, I don't really want to steal her place or anything. If she's there, she deserves it.

But it had put a limit in what can I expect about what we're having. He likes me. I make him happy as his slave. We're creating intimacy. He tries to hide it, but he would be hurt if I start to see someone else and dump him. Even tho he knows forever is a huge thing and always says that in form of joke, it's clear to me that he would love to have me in these terms. And his favorite. And who knows how many others. He would love to be the lord of a harem, that's for sure.

But you know what? Speaking of ME, and what this is teaching me. I used to be so very jealous of my past boyfriends, almost sickly jealous. The kind that would follow all tracks, would check their cell phones away from them, that would hate, hate, HATE to death any girl who smiles at them. I wanted to feel so special, so unique, to have something they would never give to anyone else, that I was insane thinking they could be sharing what they share with me, with another.

Now I'm at peace. Have no idea why, but as I said, I accepted from the beginning, I would not be the only one, and then I found out I would not be his favorite. And I don't hate anyone. And I don't think he gives me less than he can. It is just perfect according to what it is. I have nothing to complain about, not a thought about what he does to the others, how it's like in bed, if I am prettier, uglier, hotter, or not so much, than anyone else. It doesn't bother me. He does think I am beautiful (he was telling me he saw pictures of me when I was 18 at Facebook, when I had really long hair, and I said I was beautiful that time - he corrected me, I AM beautiful, then and now). He likes me. I can't think about anyone being better or worse as person - his favorite, why would she be better or worse than me? - all his lovers are just different. All of them unique. Including me.

If I could come back in time and tell myself this words, my younger self would be TERRIFIED with what I become. Because it's really strange. But that's it.

PS: I had comment about astrology and our charts with him, and it was like:

Me: There's something going on about us in this matter, something much too... *trying to find the word*

Him: ...impossible? (I think it's so funny he chose this word)

Me: No! Intense! Violent, agressive, you know...

Him: But that's exactly what's happening between us in bed, baby... no?

posted December 22, 2012 10:30 PM            

Him>

Progressed Sun conjunct Natal Venus
Progressed Venus conjunct Natal AC

Me>

posted December 23, 2012 04:52 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Desiderata:
Just something I've noticed about our progressed charts...

Him>

Progressed Sun conjunct Natal Venus
Progressed Venus conjunct Natal AC

Me>

Progressed Venus conjunct Natal Sun
Progressed Sun conjunct Natal AC

---

That is freaky. Weirdly enough, dude I am interested in has progressed Venus conj natal Sun too (and my natal Saturn )

Thank you for the update, I was wondering how you were. It's good that you are at peace with the way things are at the moment, that you are not envious or jealous of the other girl and that you are learning and growing so much. From this point of view, it sounds very positive and healthy. I used to be jealous too (Taurus Venus) but now found myself - at my initiative - in an open type of relationship, which is strange because I am naturally monogamous. But like you, I am also evolving and learning about myself, what works and what doesn't, pushing my boundaries much further than I thought they could go, but still maintaining honesty and respect for everyone involved, as well as safety which is very important for me. The sex only happens with my boyfriend but with the rest of activities, diversity feels better. My bf is not the one with that composite I posted, that is someone that triggers very powerful emotions and urges in me, especially on the sadistic side. Giving in to them, however, is frightening because I feel he is the one person out there that I could really be raw and untamed with. And I still don't know what lies in me and what I will unleash in the process.

This experience is wonderful in so many ways. A few months ago, reading this, I would have had a strong negative, judgmental reaction because I was stuck in my own narrow world, but now not only do I understand, but actually am supportive of it. Make the best of it, enjoy every single second of it, learn, grow, spread your wings. The most beautiful aspect of this sort of lifestyle is that it's only limited by your own limitations. So explore and live it fully!

posted January 01, 2013 05:51 PM            

I'm in vacations now, miles away from him. Before I travel he kinda stressed me out a little because of a personal favor he asked me - not because of the favor itself, it was nothing, but because he was so MAD about the subject of the favor that he ended up being not so nice with me. But as soon as I said how I felt he apologized and admitted he was wrong. Then he said how hard it was to find a woman like me - a slave like me - and that I was like a pot of gold he found, we would obviously keep me, cherish me and never do anything to make me wanna go.

Since then we talk pretty much every day via messages. It's funny, I was talking to a friend, a vanilla friend, and she said at first she was afraid for me, for getting in a relationship of this kind, because she had been in an abusive relationship so she's very afraid of any men trying to control her. I've been in two abusive relationships myself, and I guarantee, he RESPECTS me completely. As I told her how things were, she agreed with me, the douches we used to date were real monsters, so even tho my Dom hurts me physically, it will never be as hurtful as the pain the others brought to my soul, you know? He's a Dom but he really likes me the way I am, he never tried to undermine me, never despised me, never tried to control my personal life. And no one ever compared me to a pot of gold, lol.

I'm still very happy with him!

Even tho you're much more discreet than I am (oh, c'mom, I like to come here and shaaare, and maybe overshare, lol, so I'm not discreet at all), I'm very curious about your history and how things are going. Wish you well

posted October 06, 2014 06:53 AM            

SUN conjunct MARS
PLUTO conjunct MARS
PLUTO opposite MOON
VENUS conjunct PLUTO
SUN opposite MOON

We met with a pMOON conjunct pSUN, and began a relationship with my pVENUS conjunct nSUN, and his pSUN conjunct nVENUS! Plus, his nMARS is conjunct my pVENUS as well.

posted October 07, 2014 04:10 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Odette:
Aww... Another interesting Pisces Moon man

I shall add him to my Pisces Moon list - in anticipation for the blog I will dedicate to Pisces Moon men all around the globe

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I think Desiderata is Pisces Moon, her man is Cancer Moon.