posted January 21, 2013 10:39 PM            

My question is - when you feel this way:

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I don't want the whole relationship to be about game playing. But in the wooing stage they're kind of necessary. It's how you set the battleground that counts.

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Is there any way to snap you out of it?

Like if the other person is just genuine and honest - would that make you behave normally towards them or would you still play games?

posted January 21, 2013 11:06 PM            

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Sensitive to being controlled?

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Ya....

I was trying to figure out about Sag guy - what he thinks would happen if he felt out of control.. or if he felt someone else was in control. Then I gave up.

It seems people who are sensitive in this way - think that if they are not in control - the whole world will go to crap and zombies will roam free.

It's an illusion anyway.. because no one is in complete control of themselves or their lives. There are always outside things/people/social norms/the government/the legal system controlling you..

posted January 21, 2013 11:16 PM            

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
odette, you are an aries with cap moon , are you a control freak?

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posted January 21, 2013 11:44 PM            

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odette, you are an aries with cap moon , are you a control freak?

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I feel free at heart... on a spiritual level. I don't feel like anyone can control me or like I can control others. I'm not even sure I can control myself.

But in practical day to day life there's always a power-exchange happening.. and the 'control' wheel keeps on turning.
I don't have a negative relationship with authority figures or others who may be in control over me - as long as they seem fair & trustworthy.

I think I'm a bit strange because of my Mars/Neptune conj in Capricorn... I definitely find it easier to go with the flow.. than other Capricorn-influenced people I know.

Sand -

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I should never date an Aries mars then.
Mars in Scorpio- controlling

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posted January 21, 2013 11:48 PM            

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Originally posted by Odette:
LoL aqua --

I don't think I'll be dating one either. I don't mind someone being in control... but not if it stems from insecurity and psychological problems.
This guy for example.. He is very scared.. so I don't want to spend my life playing psychologist.
Scorpio Mars people are different. Even if they are controlling.. they are not *scared-sh*tless* of losing control. They're more level-headed & balanced.
Maybe I'm biased though - since my Mars squares Aries.

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posted January 22, 2013 12:26 AM            

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Moon Pluto. Open to manipulation from women.

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LoL

OMG - don't make his issues worse!!!!

posted January 22, 2013 12:55 AM            

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Originally posted by Odette:
LoL

OMG - don't make his issues worse!!!!

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posted January 22, 2013 12:56 AM            

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
i'll let you manipulate me odette

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posted January 22, 2013 10:52 AM            

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Originally posted by Odette:
You were saying on the other thread that you understand Mr. Scorpio's player behaviour because you were like this yourself and you know how he feels. You also said that you're both cowards & are both scared of losing the 'game' or appearing weak. I have a feeling this is a Mars in Aries thing.
The Sag guy I mentioned on LL a few times has an Aries Mars and he seems very paranoid about losing control. Because of his behaviour I stopped talking to him and I also blocked him on FB. I'm a very laid back person. I wanted things to feel good between us, not like a war... and since that didn't seem possible, I cut him out.

My question is - when you feel this way:

Is there any way to snap you out of it?

Like if the other person is just genuine and honest - would that make you behave normally towards them or would you still play games?

And secondly.. what do you want to achieve with this? When you say "set the battleground" - what does that mean? Basically if Scorpio gave in and you felt like you 'won' this game - would that make you happy and would that be a good start to a relationship between you?

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Hi, Odette!

Sorry, just saw this. I don't know if it's *just* an Aries Mars thing. It sounds more Scorpionic to me (though I think Caps can be like this too). It isn't just about control, it's about not being seen as weak, vulnerable, you know?
Funny you mentioned a Sag, because your words reminded me of *my* Sag ex. We were like this as well, except much more in the open. With the Scorp it's a lot more subtle. But pretty much the same scenario re: mind games. Come to think of it, a big part of this was a fight for dominance, which is what I have with the Scorp too - quite literally, since we're both Dominants in the SM sense (and that's how we met, so the "roles" we play were set from the beginning). So maybe it is an alpha thing.. Anyways, yes, there is a way to snap me out of it. It worked when I was less self-aware and more immature. Basically it happens when the other person lets their guard down. The Sag confessed his feelings. More like yelled them at me lol, because we were fighting very.. fiercely . That was pretty much my light bulb moment, when I also let my defenses drop. He let me know how much my behavior hurt him so I stopped.

What I hope to achieve?.. Good question. I don't know if I want to achieve something, it's more like trying to avoid something else - being the.. erm.. puppy. The one who eats out of their palm, the one who's so smitten that she'd do anything for them. The one who is taken for granted and unappreciated. The one who is treated like an ordinary woman because she gave in. I think it has a lot to do with a thinking pattern that was induced to me by my early environment, in which being in love is shameful, stupid and must be avoided at all costs. Of course I know that is idiotic (consciously) but subconsciously it still controls a lot of the things I do (up until I am made aware of it).
In my case it also goes a little bit deeper with my fighting my father when I thought I was in danger of an incest. This brought this immense fear of "giving in", almost to an extent that it would be impossible for me to do so. I guess in a way the easiest path is for the other person to put their weapon down first. I will follow them, but being so much on the defense, I cannot do it first. Okay, I can in other instances, but not in love, not when *I* am in love beyond myself. Not when I am so vulnerable to them.