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Author Topic:   Hatred and intolerance
Hera
Knowflake

Posts: 5610
From: Aries fantasy land ^_^
Registered: Sep 2010

posted March 23, 2013 09:20 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Hera     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I still, to this day, close to my 30th birthday, cannot understand what would possess someone to be so forcibly intolerant of another, without so much of exchanging a word or without them doing anything to cause it - not that intolerance or hatred would be justified if there was a cause.


I speak from the perspective of one who had to deal with that. I don't mean just bullies, though I encountered them too. It is not about teasing or messing with someone for fun. It's about sheer hatred, palpable anger and resentment, people wanting to hurt me and not stop. The first I have encountered this was with my father. The reality of his hatred didn't hit me until a few days ago, when I had some flashbacks. It always shocked me how relentless he was in hurting me, without me doing anything to upset him even. Why I have this effect on some people is beyond me. Why it takes as much as saying something neutral or walking down the street to be forcibly attacked. I have always identified with underdogs and minority groups. I know exactly what it feels like to be them.


I just don't know how to fix this. How to handle it. Naturally, my own response is to think that something is wrong with me. The intensity of the negative emotion they project in my direction is so overwhelming. I don't know how I should react. If I keep attracting this, I have to find a way to deal with it, healthily.

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Hera
Knowflake

Posts: 5610
From: Aries fantasy land ^_^
Registered: Sep 2010

posted March 23, 2013 09:28 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Hera     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
From an astro perspective, I have an afflicted Ascendant - square Mercury, Mars, Pluto and Saturn. I also have Venus opposite Serpentis. And MC at the horrible 21 degree Scorpio with the Sabian "Hunters Shooting Wild Ducks"..

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12muddy
Knowflake

Posts: 204
From:
Registered: Feb 2013

posted March 23, 2013 10:21 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for 12muddy     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I’m sorry that you have to go through that. I can relate with much of what you experience. I have mars opp pluto and an afflicted moon. Here are a few things that help me deal with it, I hope that you will find these useful.

1. I realise that there are people with “funny” ideas in their heads. Maybe they have pretty bad lives and that’s why they project hurt and anger. I can’t change that. So I just let it slide. I try not to think about it, because I believe that the more I think about the problem, the more frustrated I’ll become, since there is no solution. Keep thinking about nice people, it’s soothing for the soul.

2. Learn martial art. It makes me feel confident that I can protect myself.

3. In case that people attack you physically, never show fear. The predators can smell fear and it urges them on.

Your post sounds so sad. Wish I could say something soothing. We just have to deal with it the best we can and focus on the better/positive things. I hope I don't sound like I'm brushing you off. Hope you’ll feel better soon

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aquaguy91
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Posts: 6287
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012

posted March 23, 2013 10:28 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hera,
I can somewhat relate to you except the hatred I receive only comes from women.I have a heavily afflicted venus conjunct the ascendant and i'm pretty much insta-rejected by the majority of women.They dont even take the time to get to know me, they just me write me off.I cant even ask a female co-worker a work related question without getting a "how dare you speak to me" look the majority of the time.Just to give you an idea of the crap I put with i'm gonna tell you something that happened to me.I was at the gym one evening and I was swimming laps in the pool. A guy with an ankle bracelet (the kind criminals wear) comes in and starts swimming laps on the opposite end of the pool and shortly after an attractive woman starts swimming laps in the middle of the pool. A few minutes later I got out and went to the hot tub to soak for a bit and I happened to look up and noticed the woman i mentioned earlier was hovering at the edge of the pool and looking nervously towards me. At the same time I noticed the scary looking dude with the ankle bracelet had abandoned all stealth and was just leering at the woman,so i assumed she was nervous about him. A few minutes later I went to the sauna and as soon as i stepped out of the hot tub the woman darted over and got in. About 10 minutes later I walked out of the sauna to see the woman and the creepy guy with the ankle bracelet sitting in the hot tub arm in arm laughing like old friends.At that moment I felt pure rage,That woman was scared of me but she was perfectly fine relaxing with a criminal... wtf?!?!? I was just a regular guy trying to unwind from my day and she was afraid of me but felt completely comfortable around the guy on probation.

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Hera
Knowflake

Posts: 5610
From: Aries fantasy land ^_^
Registered: Sep 2010

posted March 23, 2013 11:21 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Hera     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
12muddy,

Thank you. I have Mars opposite Pluto too. I forgot to mention it. It is exact orb. Aries-Libra. LOTS of repressed anger. That's because there's also Saturn on Pluto's side. Saturn adds oppression from authority figures.


I keep wanting to start tai chi. It's been a part of my New Year's resolution. Maybe I should schedule a lesson soon. I do think it will help.

I don't show fear. Actually a few attackers ended up apologizing to me. Like barking dogs that crawl to your feet yelping. All I did was talk to them, calmly. It is not that I cannot handle them in the moment, meaning their physical actions against me. I cannot handle the emotional vibration of having hatred directed at me. That is what brings me down and feels so hopeless. It is also so shocking because I don't know what I've done to "deserve" it. And I cannot understand it. If I can't understand it, I can't move on.

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Hera
Knowflake

Posts: 5610
From: Aries fantasy land ^_^
Registered: Sep 2010

posted March 23, 2013 11:25 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Hera     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Aqua,

I understand in a way. In my case it's both men and women. Mostly men, I'll admit to that. But it's not that they're scared of me, they act like they want to shred me into tiny pieces.

My guess would be the root cause is your relationship with your mother. At least I know that's how it stands in my case.

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aquaguy91
Moderator

Posts: 6287
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012

posted March 23, 2013 11:34 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Hera:
Aqua,

I understand in a way. In my case it's both men and women. Mostly men, I'll admit to that. But it's not that they're scared of me, they act like they want to shred me into tiny pieces.

My guess would be the root cause is your relationship with your mother. At least I know that's how it stands in my case. Ever repeating patterns of my relationship with my folks. Great. Crappy childhood reloaded.


well i'm sure they would if they could lol. But i'm a foot taller and 80 to 100 pounds heavier than the average girl so that aint happening lol. either way its all the same to me, getting unwarranted negative reactions from people sucks.

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Hera
Knowflake

Posts: 5610
From: Aries fantasy land ^_^
Registered: Sep 2010

posted March 23, 2013 11:39 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Hera     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Well at least you don't have to worry about them bullying you or trying to rape you.

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aquaguy91
Moderator

Posts: 6287
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012

posted March 23, 2013 12:06 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
well thats true. but tbh i would rather have a man as an enemy. atleast i would know who my enemy was and be able to deal with them and people would support me in doing so. since most women have blacklisted me for no reason i am S.O.L and cant do anything about it. The worst part is women usually get the benefit of the doubt. so not only do i have to deal with getting treated like a subhuman by lots of women, i am blamed for it if i point it out. People automatically assume i'm just an a**hole who deserves it without investigating the matter.So I have to either lay down and take it or speak up and get ripped to shreds.

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Hera
Knowflake

Posts: 5610
From: Aries fantasy land ^_^
Registered: Sep 2010

posted March 23, 2013 02:43 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Hera     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
This thread was mostly about how to heal emotionally from being subject of hatred/intolerance/bullying/oppression.

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aquaguy91
Moderator

Posts: 6287
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012

posted March 23, 2013 02:52 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
yes i understood that, but thats kind of tricky isnt it? Because what are you gonna do if you didnt bring it upon yourself in the firstplace? for example: if a person of a certain race gets targeted because of the color of their skin ,what are they supposed to do? their only options are too grow thicker skin and accept that people are going to be idiots or they can try to avoid bigoted/racist people at all costs. I think the same thing goes for the things we are discussing here, you have to learn to tune it out or avoid those people/situations all together.

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Padre35
Knowflake

Posts: 1362
From: Asheville, NC, US
Registered: Jul 2012

posted March 23, 2013 03:04 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Padre35     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

Eh, it's all about power Hera, like you when I first ran into this reality I was taken aback.

Sadly, it's the way the world works.

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Hera
Knowflake

Posts: 5610
From: Aries fantasy land ^_^
Registered: Sep 2010

posted March 23, 2013 03:33 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Hera     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I need to heal that feeling of having hatred directed at me. I need to understand it is not my fault and nothing is wrong with me.

I want to know how to do that.

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Padre35
Knowflake

Posts: 1362
From: Asheville, NC, US
Registered: Jul 2012

posted March 23, 2013 03:42 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Padre35     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Hera:
I need to heal that feeling of having hatred directed at me. I need to understand it is not my fault and nothing is wrong with me.

I want to know how to do that.


Doubt is a portion of human nature, doubly so when it comes to self doubt.

Just keep in mind, if you are insecure, so is everyone else, just recall your past successes and it really does help.

It's an odd thing about mankind, recalling past success is considered boasting, but in the present "we" behave as if we've never had any success at all.

This is not to say keep looking back, rather it is to say you've had accomplishments, they build confidence.

We've all had setbacks, however those are opportunities to be creative. A sort of spirit of "what does not kill me makes me stronger".

Happy BDay BTW

The divergent path is Buddhism, were the spirit is sort of "..is that so.."?

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