Lindaland
  Sweet Peas In The Rain
  pmdd and violent outbursts

Post New Topic  Post A Reply
profile | register | preferences | faq

UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone! next newest topic | next oldest topic
Author Topic:   pmdd and violent outbursts
sweet-scorpion
Knowflake

Posts: 1432
From: PA, USA
Registered: Apr 2012

posted March 28, 2013 02:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sweet-scorpion     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I was recently diagnosed with PMDD. It makes so much sense for me. I'm surprised I wasn't diagnosed earlier. With each passing year my mood swings get worse and worse. Due to a three-day anxiety episode I forgot to start my recent PMDD medication... bad I know.

So today a family member goaded me on by stealing my computer and ripping it away from me each time I tried to get it back. It was because I'd said something mean to her from the way she was acting. I feel so ashamed... PMDD makes me enraged about everything and also depressed and suicidal. I started punching them in the left arm [not that hard but with force] to get back my computer. For some reason, when I get PMDD I get bipolar like hypomania and mood swings and I mostly suffer from increased energy and severe agitation, so I guess my logic was it would scare them enough to give it back... but it didn't. I think I kicked them in the leg kind of once and tried to get it out of her hands, but she kept screaming in my face and spitting at me [intentionally or not IDK]. So then I slapped her across the face... again not that hard but hard enough I guess. So then she threatened to put assault charges on me!!! OMG. I feel like such a wreck. To be fair, they goaded me on and I NEVER got this bad with PMDD. But for some reason today my mood swings were completely out of control. I've already tried to explain this to this family member but they either don't care or are oblivious. I was crying and felt suicidal for three hours since it was never my intention to actually hurt them, just get my computer back. I feel like such an idiot. I guess anger management and therapy would help. I finally started my first Prozac pill special for PMDD today after the incident and the family member said they wouldn't press charges [it sounds ridiculous when I even write is since they were completely fine and not hurt that much from what I did based on how they were acting completely fine]. But I don't trust them.

Anyway... I was just wondering if any girls on LL have had similar depressive/rage episodes from PMDD. I feel like such a bad person. I just hope the meds help me. The rage has never been this bad. I'm really scared.

IP: Logged

PixieJane
Knowflake

Posts: 1942
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010

posted March 28, 2013 06:38 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for PixieJane     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Sounds like you're under 18, otherwise you could slap criminal charges on her to taking your property. That's assuming it IS your computer, of course, as opposed to a computer that belongs to the person (parent?) who was taking it away from you.

If you are underage then you can get a grip on your impulses with maturity (and practicing impulse control), so don't despair, and plenty of kids your age act out like that from time to time. Try apologizing and promising to watch your attitude to get your computer back faster (unless they're really dysfunctional, in which case it's likely your condition is either false and is actually based on poor role models who never inspired you to better behavior and/or it runs in the family).

In any case, Prozac takes awhile...and btw, I know someone who was hospitalized because she was given prozac when her brain was more bipolar and as a result the "up" version of it made Prozac act like low grade Ecstasy (and I believe a medical student told me that they were similar) but when "down" it increased it so that she became psychotic and a danger to herself. Be warned that this drug is way over-prescribed, and it's possible it will make you worse instead of better. I'm especially skeptical of its use for premenstrual dysphoric disorder (which I assume you mean by CORRECTION: pmdd). If you're an adult I would recommend you look into alternatives before antidepressants.

Also, be aware that this diagnosis doesn't excuse violence. If you're an adult but can't help yourself then you need to be locked up.

That said, assuming you're an adult and the computer was yours (rather than being allowed to use it by the one you yelled at) then, well, getting a little physical is forgivable (though not laudable)...but perhaps I can grudgingly excuse a little violence in such a case because I've been diagnosed as having had a Texan upbringing.

IP: Logged

sweet-scorpion
Knowflake

Posts: 1432
From: PA, USA
Registered: Apr 2012

posted March 28, 2013 07:43 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sweet-scorpion     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by PixieJane:
Sounds like you're under 18, otherwise you could slap criminal charges on her to taking your property. That's assuming it IS your computer, of course, as opposed to a computer that belongs to the person (parent?) who was taking it away from you.

If you are underage then you can get a grip on your impulses with maturity (and practicing impulse control), so don't despair, and plenty of kids your age act out like that from time to time. Try apologizing and promising to watch your attitude to get your computer back faster (unless they're really dysfunctional, in which case it's likely your condition is either false and is actually based on poor role models who never inspired you to better behavior and/or it runs in the family).

In any case, Prozac takes awhile...and btw, I know someone who was hospitalized because she was given prozac when her brain was more bipolar and as a result the "up" version of it made Prozac act like low grade Ecstasy (and I believe a medical student told me that they were similar) but when "down" it increased it so that she became psychotic and a danger to herself. Be warned that this drug is way over-prescribed, and it's possible it will make you worse instead of better. I'm especially skeptical of its use for premenstrual dysphoric disorder (which I assume you mean by PPMD). If you're an adult I would recommend you look into alternatives before antidepressants.

Also, be aware that this diagnosis doesn't excuse violence. If you're an adult but can't help yourself then you need to be locked up.

That said, assuming you're an adult and the computer was yours (rather than being allowed to use it by the one you yelled at) then, well, getting a little physical is forgivable (though not laudable)...but perhaps I can grudgingly excuse a little violence in such a case because I've been diagnosed as having had a Texan upbringing.


I am actually 18 turning 19 this year, but moving to college in less than 5 months. So you weren't too much off. I was actually threatening them as well with such a charge, since if they were withholding MY property that I bought for myself as a 'consequence' for saying something mean to them, I as an adult could have said they were purposely goading me onto being aggressive by stealing my property and refusing to give it back. I feel me saying this to them woke them up to reality a little. But at the time it took me lightly slapping them to wake them up out of their psychotic state. So nope, the computer didn't belong to them, hence why I was freaking out!

Sorry, I meant PMDD. At the time writing this, I was extremely upset. I feel like I definitely have issues with PMDD in particular and I will see if this helps me. Even if it takes a while I cannot function without a medication. I'm really self-aware so I'm good at monitoring my mood swings and have a good relationship with the GP who gave me it. But thank you for warning me to watch out for mood swings. I'm actually adapting way better to this medication at a relatively high dose on the first few tries vs. meds like Celexa when 5 MG were making me puke immediately and so dizzy I had to miss work and school. It seems that this might help a little. I'll just have to wait it out.

I'm glad you understand that I had the right, just a little, to be extremely angry and aggressive. My laptop is extremely expensive and had precious college application files and information on it, along with contest work I was afraid I'd lose if she threw it and damaged my computer. I was just angry because this person goads me on with their BS attitude all the time. And they know I can get very aggressive but pushed my buttons anyway because they are stubborn and self-righteous. The few things I did to them weren't even with the intention of 'beating them up' but to get them to drop and surrender my computer. I just feel bad because if I wasn't near menses I never would've acted THIS extremely towards them, in general, at all. I was having a random crying spell this morning which was a bad sign in and of itself... so I'm not surprised that it happened when they pushed me like that, and screamed in my face. All in all, it's over. I apologized genuinely numerous times and I am going to attend anger management, and soon moving out, so I think it's going to thankfully be put behind us...

IP: Logged

cappy1277
Moderator

Posts: 1500
From: philadelphia,pa
Registered: Jul 2009

posted March 28, 2013 07:58 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for cappy1277     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I was diagnosed with PMDD years ago....while I don't ever feel suicidal, I do feel homicidal. I can go into a rage and to say the least, it puts a real strain on interpersonal relationships. I used to take Zoloft at the lowest dose & while I felt good, I gained 40 lbs. (I'm not a big person to begin with, I'm petite.) I have an app on my computer that tracks my menstrual. Typically two days before and two days after I will avoid all people. My boyfriend doesn't understand why I can't get a handle on it but it feels like it is out of my control & it really is. I can fly into a rage easily...mostly a blind rage. I can feel it building up inside. It is so easy to be agitated.

One time I goofed and spent the night before my menstrual with my boyfriend...everything he did irritated me, even the way he was breathing. I had to sleep on the couch...he was upset but I had to tell him that "it" was coming and it was best that he left me alone.

While I am a lot older, it took some self control on my part to get where I am to be able to recognize my symptoms. The immense anxiety, anger & depression at most are debilitating for that week alone. I would like to find something that didn't have so many side effects (the weight gain, upset stomach, and rashes) but for now I will stick to my calendar lol.

IP: Logged

cappy1277
Moderator

Posts: 1500
From: philadelphia,pa
Registered: Jul 2009

posted March 28, 2013 08:03 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for cappy1277     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Like what pixiejane said, sometimes these medications will make you "purge" your minds strongest debility, whether its depression or hyper mania. It took six weeks for the Zoloft to officially kick in but during those six weeks, my family wanted to hospitalize me because I was extremely depressed...sleep for 17 hours & couldn't get out the bed. Then one day, I got up & felt great...lol. Couldn't even get angry no matter how hard anyone tried. I would just give a blank stare with a smile & kept it moving.

IP: Logged

katatonic
Knowflake

Posts: 9800
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted April 01, 2013 10:40 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for katatonic     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
PROZAC ... For hormone problems? I'm no doctor- thank god, but you wouldn't get me near it!

IP: Logged

Lexxigramer
Moderator

Posts: 2141
From: The Etheric Realms...Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat...& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion!
Registered: Feb 2012

posted April 02, 2013 12:04 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lexxigramer     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by katatonic:
PROZAC ... For hormone problems? I'm no doctor- thank god, but you wouldn't get me near it!

I agree.
Seems antidepressants of all types can be bad.
Prozac made me and my husband very ill.
And worse;
Serzone caused my husband to die and need resuscitated.
What is creepy is that the drug was supposed to have been discontinued.
quote:
On June 14, 2004, Bristol-Myers Squibb discontinued the sale of Serzone in the United States and Canada.

Yet he was given it in March 2005!!!!!!!!!!
quote:

Nefazodone (Serzone, Nefadar) is an antidepressant marketed by Bristol-Myers Squibb. Its sale was discontinued in 2003 in some countries due to the rare incidence of hepatotoxicity (liver damage), which could lead to the need for a liver transplant, or even death. The incidence of severe liver damage is approximately 1 in every 250,000 to 300,000 patient-years. On June 14, 2004, Bristol-Myers Squibb discontinued the sale of Serzone in the United States and Canada.

IP: Logged

katatonic
Knowflake

Posts: 9800
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted April 02, 2013 01:11 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for katatonic     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
For a great many people food can be the answer...many prepared foods contain substances that will aggravate your tendencies, and in some cases even cause them. There are the obvious things like caffeine and msg, also aspartame and other "flavourings" that contribute to mood and physical swings you would be amazed at how different they can make you feel.

Then there are vitamin/mineral imbalances that can be pretty easily corrected. Sugar/insulin probs also cause major mood swings.

Many years ago i discovered that i could avoid

IP: Logged

katatonic
Knowflake

Posts: 9800
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted April 02, 2013 01:15 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for katatonic     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Excruciating ovarian cysts by avoiding fatty, sugsry foods at ovulation time. Maybe this is the beginning of your road to becoming your own doctor by finding out what foods soothe and/or upset you.

Have ypu tried a "chinesr" doctor? Herbs can work wonders too!

- sorry bout my typo plagued mobile...

IP: Logged

sweet-scorpion
Knowflake

Posts: 1432
From: PA, USA
Registered: Apr 2012

posted April 03, 2013 10:28 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sweet-scorpion     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
The low dose Prozac is actually meant to help my mood swings, like wanting to hurt people and hurt myself that arise from my period. I also have general mental problems like depressive episodes so I find taking these meds necessary. I'm up for trying something like melatonin to help me sleep better but I don't believe in herbal meds right now. It's just too much for me to bear right now and I think I should just give the meds a shot.

I'm going to start birth control soon hopefully to eliminate my periods or at least control the pain. Also, I want to take vitamin D and calcium supplements if my doctor OK's it because I know higher levels of this can help with menstrual pain.

IP: Logged

bridgetostars23
Knowflake

Posts: 539
From: virginia, usa
Registered: Dec 2012

posted April 03, 2013 05:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for bridgetostars23     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hey sweet-scorpion, I sometimes get this feeling where I feel like I am porous and everyone's energy can sneak inside me. It is very irritating to me physically, emotionally, spiritually, whatever-ally. I noticed that it is much worse before my period or during. (Like right now.) I am angry at other people because it feels like they are invading my private space just by breathing. And then of course I get angry and ashamed at myself for being this way. And this is just of a person in general just being there. If it is a family member who I already have issues with then it is much much worse. Their words are slimy and toxic and so is their energy (to my very sensitive aura at this time that picks up on any old feelings of anger, resentment, etc.)

It has helped to meditate. Chakra meditations. Whatever your type of meditation is. Something to get you in tune with your own body and energy and not someone else's....Something I have been saying lately too (in all times not just before my period) "Please return all energy that doesn't belong to me back to it's owner with love and light. And return back to me all of my energy with love and light."

Hope it helps. I know it is difficult.

Edit: I used to be violent too. It gave me a sort of release. Sometimes I still crave it actually because it gets that stuff out quickly. This is where exercise really comes into play! You may not feel like it (especially during your period) but the more you do it the more energy you will have.

IP: Logged

PixieJane
Knowflake

Posts: 1942
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010

posted April 03, 2013 06:30 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for PixieJane     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by sweet-scorpion:
I'm going to start birth control soon hopefully to eliminate my periods or at least control the pain

Be warned that these have side effects (be sure to ask in advance!), in a few women they can even lead to epic mood swings that get her committed, though obviously that's very rare...but in your case I can't help but wonder if it wouldn't be more likely.

IP: Logged

sweet-scorpion
Knowflake

Posts: 1432
From: PA, USA
Registered: Apr 2012

posted April 03, 2013 09:14 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sweet-scorpion     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by PixieJane:
Be warned that these have side effects (be sure to ask in advance!), in a few women they can even lead to epic mood swings that get her committed, though obviously that's very rare...but in your case I can't help but wonder if it wouldn't be more likely.


That's exactly what I would bring up to the doctor. It's my biggest fear. I just wanna make sure that it doesn't worsen my PMDD. There's also a possibility of me having endometriosis mildly because my grandma had it and I have some symptoms that go with that [lucky me!]. It sucks but BC is what eliminates the other painful period issues I have that Prozac can't. So I'll have to discuss what pills are good for acne-prone skin and already moody women I guess? IDK.

IP: Logged

sweet-scorpion
Knowflake

Posts: 1432
From: PA, USA
Registered: Apr 2012

posted April 03, 2013 09:16 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sweet-scorpion     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by bridgetostars23:
Hey sweet-scorpion, I sometimes get this feeling where I feel like I am porous and everyone's energy can sneak inside me. It is very irritating to me physically, emotionally, spiritually, whatever-ally. I noticed that it is much worse before my period or during. (Like right now.) I am angry at other people because it feels like they are invading my private space just by breathing. And then of course I get angry and ashamed at myself for being this way. And this is just of a person in general just being there. If it is a family member who I already have issues with then it is much much worse. Their words are slimy and toxic and so is their energy (to my very sensitive aura at this time that picks up on any old feelings of anger, resentment, etc.)

It has helped to meditate. Chakra meditations. Whatever your type of meditation is. Something to get you in tune with your own body and energy and not someone else's....Something I have been saying lately too (in all times not just before my period) "Please return all energy that doesn't belong to me back to it's owner with love and light. And return back to me all of my energy with love and light."

Hope it helps. I know it is difficult.

Edit: I used to be violent too. It gave me a sort of release. Sometimes I still crave it actually because it gets that stuff out quickly. This is where exercise really comes into play! You may not feel like it (especially during your period) but the more you do it the more energy you will have.


Thanks for the sweet advice. Meditation is something I want to utilize more and also prayer. I'm beginning to see the error of my ways clearly and vow to never do this again. I feel better knowing it's largely from my PMDD. There's little catharsis for me in the end with extremely verbally violent episodes of anger [and in this case physical].

IP: Logged

sweet-scorpion
Knowflake

Posts: 1432
From: PA, USA
Registered: Apr 2012

posted April 03, 2013 09:17 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sweet-scorpion     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by katatonic:
Excruciating ovarian cysts by avoiding fatty, sugsry foods at ovulation time. Maybe this is the beginning of your road to becoming your own doctor by finding out what foods soothe and/or upset you.

Have ypu tried a "chinesr" doctor? Herbs can work wonders too!

- sorry bout my typo plagued mobile...


Thanks for the advice, I'm going to try to eliminate as many processed foods as possible from my diet for weight loss and my upcoming breast reduction surgery. I don't want to try herbal meds at this time though acupuncture is an idea I've been playing around with for a while. I also want to take vitamin D and calcium supplements if possible because those both can help PMDD.

IP: Logged

sweet-scorpion
Knowflake

Posts: 1432
From: PA, USA
Registered: Apr 2012

posted April 03, 2013 09:19 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sweet-scorpion     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by cappy1277:
Like what pixiejane said, sometimes these medications will make you "purge" your minds strongest debility, whether its depression or hyper mania. It took six weeks for the Zoloft to officially kick in but during those six weeks, my family wanted to hospitalize me because I was extremely depressed...sleep for 17 hours & couldn't get out the bed. Then one day, I got up & felt great...lol. Couldn't even get angry no matter how hard anyone tried. I would just give a blank stare with a smile & kept it moving.

Wow... sounds like a hard time. Sorry that happened to you. Sounds a lot like a friend who went on Effexor and had a similar situation. I feel I respond to Prozac well though and may continue the low dose meds on a daily basis and just see what happens. I have major depressive problems and mood swings, it just sucks. I feel I was born this way from two messed up parents... not really my fault. So I just want to correct it somehow and I've tried it without meds and it's hellish.

IP: Logged

All times are Eastern Standard Time

next newest topic | next oldest topic

Administrative Options: Close Topic | Archive/Move | Delete Topic
Post New Topic  Post A Reply
Hop to:

Contact Us | Linda-Goodman.com

Copyright 2000-2013

Powered by Infopop www.infopop.com © 2000
Ultimate Bulletin Board 5.46a