posted May 29, 2013 04:29 PM            

For some people it starts with Storge (affection beaten friends - that's similar to familial affection) followed by Eros (erotic love) - for others is the opposite... which can evolve in Philia (a real friendship between both parties) and lastly - it evolves in Agape (unconditional love).

True Love (the kind that involved agape) is rare and more than often is one sided... where only party is whiling to give its all for the other... It's not necessary to be mutual, Philia and Eros are usually enough for a long term relationship... though - it would be nice to be that lucky... it's probably what most with Sun in 7'th house are looking for, then again - who wouldn't want that.

posted May 29, 2013 08:15 PM            

However, I realize there are people who can't tell the difference between lust & love and likewise place those who attract them well above everyone else, but I suspect those people have never actually known real love (at least outside of family, they hopefully know a healthy form of love there at least). Though there's also an astrological placement that's supposed to make some people fall in love with anyone who can give them good sex, too, can't recall which one it is offhand, however.

posted May 29, 2013 10:35 PM            

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Originally posted by 7thGuardian:
That type of love it's called Eros - and it truly is a form of love not just sex as some would like to put it. Others people fall in love under different types - and never feel this type of love. Though it's true - that it's not enough for a long term relationship - as the others types are more important in terms of defining true love...

For some people it starts with Storge (affection beaten friends - that's similar to familial affection) followed by Eros (erotic love) - for others is the opposite... which can evolve in Philia (a real friendship between both parties) and lastly - it evolves in Agape (unconditional love).

True Love (the kind that involved agape) is rare and more than often is one sided... where only party is whiling to give its all for the other... It's not necessary to be mutual, Philia and Eros are usually enough for a long term relationship... though - it would be nice to be that lucky... it's probably what most with Sun in 7'th house are looking for, then again - who wouldn't want that.

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posted May 30, 2013 12:54 AM            

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
Love and sex are 2 different things. People have sex with people they don't love or even feel any affection for all the time, constantly, and sometimes even sex with those they dislike or hate. Meanwhile many of us don't have sex with plenty of people we do love, even if our circumstances would make it "of interest."

However, I realize there are people who can't tell the difference between lust & love and likewise place those who attract them well above everyone else, but I suspect those people have never actually known real love (at least outside of family, they hopefully know a healthy form of love there at least). Though there's also an astrological placement that's supposed to make some people fall in love with anyone who can give them good sex, too, can't recall which one it is offhand, however.

And of course most people are highly driven to find both as part of a package deal, but "package deal" means more than one item together in one package rather than them being one and the same.

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This is true, attraction and affection are two different things.

posted May 31, 2013 03:47 AM            

It gets reflected in media, too, such as Jean Gray in XM2 when she says, "Women like to flirt with a dangerous man. They don't marry him. They marry the good guy." I've heard men talk about the women they want to "try" but would never introduce to his parents, even here on LL a couple of guys (one claimed to be a girl, but I'm not the only one who didn't believe it) gave similar sentiments, and there's that game many guys (and a few women) play called, "Marry, **** , or kill."

posted June 01, 2013 03:25 PM            

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
I was just remembering that I've heard plenty of people say who they want to fall in love with and who they're attracted to are often different...which causes a lot of frustration in their love lives.

It gets reflected in media, too, such as Jean Gray in XM2 when she says, "Women like to flirt with a dangerous man. They don't marry him. They marry the good guy." I've heard men talk about the women they want to "try" but would never introduce to his parents, even here on LL a couple of guys (one claimed to be a girl, but I'm not the only one who didn't believe it) gave similar sentiments, and there's that game many guys (and a few women) play called, "Marry, **** , or kill."

I'm wondering just how prevalent this is now...and is it because they just say who they're attracted to because they're SUPPOSED to be but ACTUALLY prefer the poison (or at least the hottie) or is it because they're genuinely attracted to both, just in different ways (one romantically, one lustfully, and rarely are they both)?

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posted June 01, 2013 06:11 PM            

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Originally posted by geea:
interesting answers,
but how can one tell the difference between passionate/high chemistry sex with true feelings/love making?
How can you know afterwards that you love the person and not the way they make you feel during sex? If it started that way, all you will know is ”yeah, she/he is a great 23r5, and i kinda like her/him”....but it”s not love...at this point you don”t even bother knowing the person at a deeper level...just my opinion. What do you guys think?

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posted June 01, 2013 07:56 PM            

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Originally posted by Padre35:
When you can think of them and the first thing that comes up in your mind is not sex.

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posted June 02, 2013 07:01 AM            

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but how can one tell the difference between passionate/high chemistry sex with true feelings/love making?

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I read an interview recently with a famous writer in my country. He said that the only great sex he had was with women he couldn't trust. Sort of stated it as a general truth that having both (great sex & true love) at the same time would be as good as impossible if not impossible.

Another article from a philosopher here stated the exact same.

I can only confirm it from my own past (with capital P) experience (sort of).

posted June 02, 2013 07:37 AM            

TMI, but I have great sex with my husband and he is *the* person that I love and trust the most.

Perhaps it's different for a person who requires novelty over all else or who needs the thrill of possible disaster (sex in public places, sex with a high probability of discovery, "What will this person do?", etc).