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Barbiegirl19
Knowflake

Posts: 389
From: Smalltown Pennsylvania
Registered: Jul 2013

posted August 29, 2013 08:40 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Barbiegirl19     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Why why why can't we delete certain people from our memory once their out of our lives? Why do we have to dwell and be miserable about these people when they seem to have forgotten out existence already?

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T
Knowflake

Posts: 10028
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted August 29, 2013 08:45 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for T     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
You'll grow out of it Barbie.

Time and experience will help delete them out of your memory. Take it from someone who knows.

Later on in life, they will give you something to laugh about and become a good measuring stick of your own growth.

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Barbiegirl19
Knowflake

Posts: 389
From: Smalltown Pennsylvania
Registered: Jul 2013

posted August 29, 2013 08:47 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Barbiegirl19     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I need to now though lol it's annoying me because I don't like to let people get to me but this person does every single time

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PixieJane
Moderator

Posts: 2828
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010

posted August 30, 2013 04:24 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for PixieJane     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
How does he get to you? Is he still interacting with you?

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PixieJane
Moderator

Posts: 2828
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010

posted August 30, 2013 04:25 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for PixieJane     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Btw, how are you making all those faces and stuff? By that I mean like:

😡😡😡😡💥

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Barbiegirl19
Knowflake

Posts: 389
From: Smalltown Pennsylvania
Registered: Jul 2013

posted August 30, 2013 10:56 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Barbiegirl19     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm on my iphone most of the time and use emojis! Lol 🙈🙉🙊💥😁 lol but I guess just hearing about things that he's doing from others really upsets me. I don't want to hear or see anything about him and when I do I get really angry and just ashamed for even letting him bother me ya know what I mean. And it ticks me off even more that he's just moved on and completely isn't affected by me anymore. It's irritating 😩

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Padre35
Knowflake

Posts: 2347
From: Asheville, NC, US
Registered: Jul 2012

posted August 30, 2013 01:07 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Padre35     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

Because if I had to guess, he was your first "love" and you invested a lot of emotional capital into making things work out.

And that tends to hold true throughout a woman's life BTW, it works the same for men but in a different way.

IME, women tend to then question themselves with "what did I do wrong?!?!?"

Chances are good, you did nothing wrong at all, being young the knowledge of things that seem serious that do not work out appears to be the end of the world.

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MetalAphrodite
Moderator

Posts: 1351
From:
Registered: Jul 2012

posted August 30, 2013 01:20 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MetalAphrodite     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
As much as you would hate to admit it, but that person has contributed to your self growth in some form.

What if you did delete this person from your memory, had no recollection of them so you ended up repeating the same thing over and over again? Would you want that memory to stay in that way?

If you're looking for a real deletion, think about your connection to this person, reflect on the relation, absorb the nutrients, then discard the unusable. Think of how relaxed you'd feel after taking a big dump(I know that sounds super gross, but it works for me).

I think the only way to be at peace with these types of relations is to make peace with what they meant to you and let go. Stages of grief, I guess.

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Barbiegirl19
Knowflake

Posts: 389
From: Smalltown Pennsylvania
Registered: Jul 2013

posted August 30, 2013 01:35 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Barbiegirl19     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Padre35:

Because if I had to guess, he was your first "love" and you invested a lot of emotional capital into making things work out.

And that tends to hold true throughout a woman's life BTW, it works the same for men but in a different way.

IME, women tend to then question themselves with "what did I do wrong?!?!?"

Chances are good, you did nothing wrong at all, being young the knowledge of things that seem serious that do not work out appears to be the end of the world.


He wasn't my first love shockingly. He was someone who I thought cared about me but instead used me. This person and I were sexually intimate and I feel that's why I can't even when I try let go. I'm not a person who just randomly hooks up with people and it clearly reflects with the way I am with him.

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Barbiegirl19
Knowflake

Posts: 389
From: Smalltown Pennsylvania
Registered: Jul 2013

posted August 30, 2013 01:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Barbiegirl19     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by MetalAphrodite:
As much as you would hate to admit it, but that person has contributed to your self growth in some form.

What if you did delete this person from your memory, had no recollection of them so you ended up repeating the same thing over and over again? Would you want that memory to stay in that way?

If you're looking for a real deletion, think about your connection to this person, reflect on the relation, absorb the nutrients, then discard the unusable. Think of how relaxed you'd feel after taking a big dump(I know that sounds super gross, but it works for me).

I think the only way to be at peace with these types of relations is to make peace with what they meant to you and let go. Stages of grief, I guess.


Probably probably not its not a good type of growth though. What he has done to has really taught me to resent men like him, and it irritates me even more that I let him get to me. I don't let anyone get to me and let him. He disappears from my life and reappears constantly and I'm over it already. So in his case yes I would delete him from my memory. He caused nothing but grief and heart ache for me 😣

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