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Author
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Topic: Mistakes in Love
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Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 46363
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted September 03, 2013 10:10 AM
  
quote:
Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
I had no wedding and no honeymoon. In fact, I also had no ring. No one blessed the marriage and both set of parents ditched us. Yet, my marriage worked out, didn't it?
You have a true soul mate chart.
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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways
Knowflake Posts: 5873
From:
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted September 03, 2013 10:46 AM
Before any of that happens, there is a whole lot of common sense and due diligence that needs to be done. Often, people are either blinded by love or lust, or disillusioned and stop using their brains. IP: Logged |
FruitTreeFresh
Knowflake Posts: 165
From:
Registered: Aug 2013
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posted September 03, 2013 10:50 AM
quote:
Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
Before any of that happens, there is a whole lot of common sense and due diligence that needs to be done. Often, people are either blinded by love or lust, or disillusioned and stop using their brains.
Anything non common-sensical occurred to you before? IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways
Knowflake Posts: 5873
From:
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted September 03, 2013 12:35 PM
quote:
Originally posted by FruitTreeFresh:
Anything non common-sensical occurred to you before?
That's the antithesis of who I am. Logic is separated from my emotions and logic trumps for me all the time. In that sense, I am quite Machiavellian, rationalizing and calculating. IP: Logged |
GypseeWind
Knowflake Posts: 5821
From: Love Street, she lingers long on Love Street..
Registered: May 2009
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posted September 03, 2013 06:47 PM
Thank You FruitTreeFresh & lillithplutoIP: Logged |
Aquacheeka
Knowflake Posts: 2750
From: Toronto
Registered: Mar 2012
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posted September 04, 2013 04:48 PM
My ex-boyfriend was a stoner (twice daily) who punched holes in every door that was not an entrance door in our apartment, screamed and swore at me almost on a daily basis, oftentimes in the street near my apartment (including the morning of my birthday when he screamed at me that I was a f****g b****), treated waitresses like garbage, refused to help out with chores, even going so far as to not help me bring the groceries home after buying a van for himself. The not cleaning thing was one thing but he would also get annoyed with me when I would clean as he found it "distracting" when he was trying to watch TV. He also refused to put out more than once a month (despite having no problem flirting constantly with girls on Facebook), and had poor hygiene which did nothing to help our sex life, and he spent every night playing video games even throwing a temper tantrum once when we were on a date and he was not home by 10pm to play his game. When we broke up we continued living together for another month before he moved into his own place and during this time he dropped all pretense of hygiene and did not shower for 3 days straight (the record before that was 2 days in a row before I really started to chide him which of course he resented me for). He sometimes went to work without brushing his teeth which is gross when you consider that he was a heavy smoker who would have a giant coffee every morning.
The mistake that I made (aside from the obvious, moving in with this guy in the first place in spite of all the red flags including his 2-week stint in jail before he met me) was that I cheated on him before the breakup, which I 'fessed up to. I regret that. Sort of.IP: Logged |
Aquacheeka
Knowflake Posts: 2750
From: Toronto
Registered: Mar 2012
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posted September 04, 2013 04:48 PM
I also dated a guy for a-year-and-a-half who wore Speedos on the beach and whose back I had to shave.I do not know wtf I was thinking there either. IP: Logged |
hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 5381
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted September 04, 2013 06:42 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Aquacheeka:
I also dated a guy for a-year-and-a-half who wore Speedos on the beach and whose back I had to shave.I do not know wtf I was thinking there either.
 priceless. IP: Logged |
Padre35
Knowflake Posts: 2377
From: Asheville, NC, US
Registered: Jul 2012
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posted September 04, 2013 06:51 PM
Aquacheeka, I'm not surprised that one fell for the tool of a guy, oddly that seems to be how selection works.Funny thing is, no women ever recalls the 'nice guy" with fondness, they rarely make any impact at all. My biggest mistake in love was falling for her looks, not the persona attached to them. IP: Logged |
hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 5381
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted September 04, 2013 06:58 PM
I dated a confused gay guy for a year, looking back I still stand by my opinion he's a sociopath who gets off on emotional cruelty, but I don't feel anything towards him.Most of the time I pursued guys I had nothing in common with, but were funny and physically attractive to me. A lot of them were potheads, flirts, and people generally not serious about a relationship (fitting I would go after them at that time in my life when I think about it. Same frequency although I'm not a pothead and never have been.) I tend to sacrifice what I want for the sake of a maybe-relationship, something I am learning to curb now. I was quiet and didn't express discontent because I hated people leaving before I was ready. That is also changing. So I suppose I'm using my Neptune in the 7th for more good than bad now that I'm more mature. Sometimes I don't give people chances because I don't feel that spark right away, but eh. When I look at my "mistakes" I realize why they didn't work out now. 80% of the guys I liked were not good enough for me (had baby mama's, no car, criminal records, potheads, girlfriends, were flaky, no future, not interested, GAY...kind of a big deal. Like wth was I thinking, didn't respect me.) I just can't believe I gave people like that the time of day when I am who I am now. IP: Logged |
Aquacheeka
Knowflake Posts: 2750
From: Toronto
Registered: Mar 2012
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posted September 04, 2013 07:25 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Padre35:
Aquacheeka, I'm not surprised that one fell for the tool of a guy, oddly that seems to be how selection works.Funny thing is, no women ever recalls the 'nice guy" with fondness, they rarely make any impact at all. My biggest mistake in love was falling for her looks, not the persona attached to them.
Mmmm, I dunno about that. He put on the "nice guy" act when we met and kept it up for the first 6 months of the relationship. He even came across as shy and self-effacing on our first date. It allowed me to rationalize things like his breaking his Playstation controller in a fit of rage during the first two months and the jail stint (he made it seem like he had made sooo much progress and had really changed . I thought he seemed like a really nice guy who had made a few mistakes. A fixer-upper, if you will. If I didn't think he was fundamentally a nice guy/good person I would not have dated him. It's not like he didn't know that; why do you think he acted so fake? IP: Logged |
Padre35
Knowflake Posts: 2377
From: Asheville, NC, US
Registered: Jul 2012
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posted September 04, 2013 07:28 PM
Ugh, then there was getting involved with a utterly sweet, attractive, mom w/2 kids and 1 kid from hell (think fetal alcohol syndrome).She had $$, was completely gorgeous, but I realized I was never going to have children with her and it took awhile to reach a tipping point of "I have to leave her, I'll never be happy like this". Totally not her fault at all, hardest "love' thing I've ever done. It worked out great for her, she wound up marrying a divorced man who had children himself, I'm not pandering when I say I'm completely happy for the both of them, she's a fine lady. IP: Logged |
Aquacheeka
Knowflake Posts: 2750
From: Toronto
Registered: Mar 2012
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posted September 04, 2013 07:29 PM
quote:
Originally posted by hannaramaa:
When I look at my "mistakes" I realize why they didn't work out now. 80% of the guys I liked were not good enough for me (had baby mama's, no car, criminal records, potheads, girlfriends, were flaky, no future, not interested, GAY...kind of a big deal. Like wth was I thinking, didn't respect me.) I just can't believe I gave people like that the time of day when I am who I am now.
IP: Logged |
Aquacheeka
Knowflake Posts: 2750
From: Toronto
Registered: Mar 2012
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posted September 04, 2013 07:31 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Padre35:
Ugh, then there was getting involved with a utterly sweet, attractive, mom w/2 kids and 1 kid from hell (think fetal alcohol syndrome).She had $$, was completely gorgeous, but I realized I was never going to have children with her and it took awhile to reach a tipping point of "I have to leave her, I'll never be happy like this". Totally not her fault at all, hardest "love' thing I've ever done. It worked out great for her, she wound up marrying a divorced man who had children himself, I'm not pandering when I say I'm completely happy for the both of them, she's a fine lady.
Padre, if you don't mind my asking, what was it that made you not want that? Did you realize that you had to have biological children? IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 46363
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted September 04, 2013 07:34 PM
quote:
Originally posted by hannaramaa:
I dated a confused gay guy for a year, looking back I still stand by my opinion he's a sociopath who gets off on emotional cruelty, but I don't feel anything towards him.Most of the time I pursued guys I had nothing in common with, but were funny and physically attractive to me. A lot of them were potheads, flirts, and people generally not serious about a relationship (fitting I would go after them at that time in my life when I think about it. Same frequency although I'm not a pothead and never have been.) I tend to sacrifice what I want for the sake of a maybe-relationship, something I am learning to curb now. I was quiet and didn't express discontent because I hated people leaving before I was ready. That is also changing. So I suppose I'm using my Neptune in the 7th for more good than bad now that I'm more mature. Sometimes I don't give people chances because I don't feel that spark right away, but eh. When I look at my "mistakes" I realize why they didn't work out now. 80% of the guys I liked were not good enough for me (had baby mama's, no car, criminal records, potheads, girlfriends, were flaky, no future, not interested, GAY...kind of a big deal. Like wth was I thinking, didn't respect me.) I just can't believe I gave people like that the time of day when I am who I am now.
I am so bad. I would like to look at the chart of a sociopath. Do you want to put it in the Beginners Forum. ------------------
Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
IP: Logged |
Padre35
Knowflake Posts: 2377
From: Asheville, NC, US
Registered: Jul 2012
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posted September 04, 2013 07:40 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Aquacheeka:
Mmmm, I dunno about that. He put on the "nice guy" act when we met and kept it up for the first 6 months of the relationship. He even came across as shy and self-effacing on our first date. It allowed me to rationalize things like his breaking his Playstation controller in a fit of rage during the first two months and the jail stint (he made it seem like he had made sooo much progress and had really changed .I thought he seemed like a really nice guy who had made a few mistakes. A fixer-upper, if you will. If I didn't think he was fundamentally a nice guy/good person I would not have dated him. It's not like he didn't know that; why do you think he acted so fake?
B/c it probably had worked in his past, the fakery that is, and he probably liked you a great deal. Problem is, like a submarine, when it goes under water any weak spots get exposed IP: Logged |
Padre35
Knowflake Posts: 2377
From: Asheville, NC, US
Registered: Jul 2012
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posted September 04, 2013 07:42 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Aquacheeka:
Padre, if you don't mind my asking, what was it that made you not want that? Did you realize that you had to have biological children?
Well, the men in my family tend to have lots of longevity, so they tended to put off having children. Basically, if I want the family gene pool to continue, and the last name, I pretty much have to have children. My brother and I have daughters under questionable circumstances, but still, not quite the same if you understand me? Side note, a uncle was married and went to work everyday, until one day a tennant showed up at his house to pay the rent. His wife had no idea he even rented houses out, turns out he owned 5 houses and a duplex that she knew nothing about at all. We also tend to be a tight lipped, secretive group of men...  IP: Logged |
hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 5381
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted September 04, 2013 08:07 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Ami Anne:
I am so bad. I would like to look at the chart of a sociopath. Do you want to put it in the Beginners Forum.
Sure I will! Although I don't know if the birth time is correct, he lied. A lot.
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