|
Author
|
Topic: Different strokes....
|
Kerosene
Knowflake Posts: 5023
From: Mercury
Registered: Dec 2012
|
posted September 03, 2013 12:47 AM
  
Could you be with someone who shares different values than yourself?IP: Logged |
PixieJane
Moderator Posts: 2879
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010
|
posted September 03, 2013 12:57 AM
I've done it enough times...but certain values matter more than others. Sometimes we affect each other's values (temporarily or permanent) and other times we just learn to co-exist. And it's led to some amusing (in retrospect) fights like me and a partner who'd argue over how our money was spent by her over stuff I considered wasteful but she considered fun & cool was gobsmacked when I bought some cat food on sale as a treat for beggar cats (in my defense I was very buzzed at the time), that's because we valued different things. I can even find some of different values (particularly of a philosophical nature and are thought out rather than merely felt and acted upon) fascinating, even if I'm in disagreement with them. And I'm easygoing about some values...to a point. I believe in a balance of what are considered traditional virtues & sins, so for example I think a bit of humility and pride together are better and psychologically & socially healthier than either one alone. I personally get along with those who believe "greed is good" as long as they're not extreme about it (as many are believing profit is its own virtue above all others) while at the same time I'm supportive of altruism but wouldn't tolerate someone giving away our rent money even if there was genuine need for it by the one who got it. IP: Logged |
StarlightSmileSupreme
Knowflake Posts: 4129
From: neptune
Registered: Nov 2012
|
posted September 03, 2013 01:11 AM
It just depends on what the values are. If they don't eat pork, for example, I can live with that and it wouldn't bother me in the slightest, or if they are vegetarian, same thing, no effect on me. If they value smoking cigarettes in the house, that would be difficult for me to deal with. Valuing country music is another big no-no for me. So, it would just depend on what they valued and if they totally clashed with what I do not.IP: Logged |
Jessica2407
Moderator Posts: 4027
From: Saturn
Registered: Sep 2012
|
posted September 03, 2013 01:19 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Kerosene:
Could you be with someone who shares different values than yourself?
That's a tough question... Hmm I don't think so...I 'm kinda stuck up you know  IP: Logged |
Kerosene
Knowflake Posts: 5023
From: Mercury
Registered: Dec 2012
|
posted September 03, 2013 01:45 AM
quote:
Originally posted by PixieJane:
I've done it enough times...but certain values matter more than others. Sometimes we affect each other's values (temporarily or permanent) and other times we just learn to co-exist. And it's led to some amusing (in retrospect) fights like me and a partner who'd argue over how our money was spent by her over stuff I considered wasteful but she considered fun & cool was gobsmacked when I bought some cat food on sale as a treat for beggar cats (in my defense I was very buzzed at the time), that's because we valued different things. I can even find some of different values (particularly of a philosophical nature and are thought out rather than merely felt and acted upon) fascinating, even if I'm in disagreement with them. And I'm easygoing about some values...to a point. I believe in a balance of what are considered traditional virtues & sins, so for example I think a bit of humility and pride together are better and psychologically & socially healthier than either one alone. I personally get along with those who believe "greed is good" as long as they're not extreme about it (as many are believing profit is its own virtue above all others) while at the same time I'm supportive of altruism but wouldn't tolerate someone giving away our rent money even if there was genuine need for it by the one who got it.
I feel the exact same way!
However I tend to probe others on their beliefs or customs which can make them uncomfortable..
IP: Logged |
Lexxigramer
Moderator Posts: 3076
From: The Etheric Realms...Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat...& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion!
Registered: Feb 2012
|
posted September 03, 2013 02:40 AM
NOIP: Logged |
Diplopoda
Knowflake Posts: 469
From:
Registered: Aug 2013
|
posted September 03, 2013 04:01 AM
What sort of values thou refer to?
Some wld be ok some no..IP: Logged |
Zander916
Knowflake Posts: 608
From: Mercury
Registered: Aug 2013
|
posted September 03, 2013 04:01 AM
quote:
Originally posted by StarlightSmileSupreme:
If they value smoking cigarettes in the house, that would be difficult for me to deal with. Valuing country music is another big no-no for me.
Hahaha! I'm exactly the same! Anyway, to the question.
It's seems that there's no getting away from it.
For example, I've had two relationships in which the other DID love country music. They hated my music. LOL We just didn't push it onto each other and it worked. I like enough music that I can meet people half-way on a lot of it, just not country. It makes me want to stab people I'm so irritated when I hear it. LOL It just depends on what they are and how the two of us decide to handle those differences. IP: Logged |
PixieJane
Moderator Posts: 2879
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010
|
posted September 03, 2013 04:27 AM
I just remembered this...I only mean this one scene (between a believer and a skeptic) that ends with "I was hoping for something a little more helpful." 
http://youtu.be/s0jHlOQVP8Q?t=38s IP: Logged |
Diplopoda
Knowflake Posts: 469
From:
Registered: Aug 2013
|
posted September 03, 2013 04:41 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Zander916:
Hahaha! I'm exactly the same! Anyway, to the question.
It's seems that there's no getting away from it.
For example, I've had two relationships in which the other DID love country music. They hated my music. LOL We just didn't push it onto each other and it worked. I like enough music that I can meet people half-way on a lot of it, just not country. It makes me want to stab people I'm so irritated when I hear it. LOL It just depends on what they are and how the two of us decide to handle those differences.
Call me extremely zen but my kind of music is no music lmfao.. Maybe the bubbling of a fountain or the whirring of the fan/Ac lol
IP: Logged |
Diplopoda
Knowflake Posts: 469
From:
Registered: Aug 2013
|
posted September 03, 2013 04:43 AM
What is Country music? You mean like old rodeos singing in the farms?"Country road, take me home.." Didnt know music gave some people hives.
Btw I can't stand metal or demonic music. Satan does rule the music industry.. And alters minds there. IP: Logged |
Padre35
Knowflake Posts: 2380
From: Asheville, NC, US
Registered: Jul 2012
|
posted September 03, 2013 08:32 AM
I can deal with surface difference like music or taste in books (though I will poke fun at it).Deeper differences in values is probably a non starter for me as I doubt I could get past it. Irresponsibility would be a big one for example IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 46785
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
|
posted September 03, 2013 08:38 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Kerosene:
Could you be with someone who shares different values than yourself?
I have friendships with all kinds of people. I have Jupiter conj Uranus.
I can say that I do not see superficial things like color.
I do not see gender such as a person being gay, bi etc. I see a person's heart. I think that God did this for me, supernaturally, from a tragedy I went through. It really deepened me to a point of shedding many of the superficial societal ways people look at others.
------------------
Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
IP: Logged |
StarlightSmileSupreme
Knowflake Posts: 4129
From: neptune
Registered: Nov 2012
|
posted September 03, 2013 10:45 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Diplopoda:
What is Country music? You mean like old rodeos singing in the farms?"Country road, take me home.." Didnt know music gave some people hives.
Btw I can't stand metal or demonic music. Satan does rule the music industry.. And alters minds there.
Country music gives my ears hives and mind a case of hives
John Denver's music is alright though. I don't go out of my way for it but it doesn't give me a case of the heebie-jeebies.
IP: Logged |
Zander916
Knowflake Posts: 608
From: Mercury
Registered: Aug 2013
|
posted September 03, 2013 01:54 PM
I'm with you Diplopoda. Surface things can easily be worked around.
It's the deep level things that matter and that's been the case for me but a lot of things can take a relationship down. Country? Anything... pop country, old country, modern country... all of it!
Given a choice, I don't even listen to the radio. I have Pandora stations of my weird stuff and that's what I listen to.  IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways
Knowflake Posts: 5915
From:
Registered: Oct 2011
|
posted September 03, 2013 02:03 PM
I'm hanging out here, aren't I??Who here shares the same exact values as I? Nobody. IP: Logged |
Diplopoda
Knowflake Posts: 469
From:
Registered: Aug 2013
|
posted September 03, 2013 02:13 PM
Charlotte Church, Whitney Houston, Celine Dion
They remind me of country.
Britney Spears is she pop country?
IP: Logged |
StarlightSmileSupreme
Knowflake Posts: 4129
From: neptune
Registered: Nov 2012
|
posted September 03, 2013 02:13 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Zander916:
I'm with you Diplopoda. Surface things can easily be worked around.
It's the deep level things that matter and that's been the case for me but a lot of things can take a relationship down. Country? Anything... pop country, old country, modern country... all of it!
Given a choice, I don't even listen to the radio. I have Pandora stations of my weird stuff and that's what I listen to.
I ADORE weird stuff! Now you're talking! IP: Logged |
StarlightSmileSupreme
Knowflake Posts: 4129
From: neptune
Registered: Nov 2012
|
posted September 03, 2013 02:14 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Diplopoda:
Charlotte Church, Whitney Houston, Celine Dion
They remind me of country.
Britney Spears is she pop country?
Yup, she's from Louisiana and she reminds me a bit of Kelly Clarkson who's from Texas. Clarkson likes to crossover to country from dance/pop. I am waiting for Spears to do an all out country song or album, or has she already? I am not familiar with her entire catalog. IP: Logged |
Diplopoda
Knowflake Posts: 469
From:
Registered: Aug 2013
|
posted September 03, 2013 02:23 PM
Leeann Rimes is country too.So Adam Lamert, and song groups like one direction can they become country?
Sorry this confuses IP: Logged |
somethingexcellent
Knowflake Posts: 2591
From: vodka fine, I'm so divine
Registered: Nov 2012
|
posted September 03, 2013 03:02 PM
Like what PixieJane said, some things are okay and small, other things can be big and deal breakers. You think this is a mysandristic society? Sorry but you're in the stone ages and I don't want you anywhere near me.
 IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 46785
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
|
posted September 03, 2013 03:10 PM
I love all music in all genres if it is good music. There is a cool country song I need to put up for you.
Tell me what you think.------------------
Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
IP: Logged |
Kerosene
Knowflake Posts: 5023
From: Mercury
Registered: Dec 2012
|
posted September 03, 2013 03:14 PM
quote:
Originally posted by somethingexcellent:
Like what PixieJane said, some things are okay and small, other things can be big and deal breakers. You think this is a mysandristic society? Sorry but you're in the stone ages and I don't want you anywhere near me.
Yeah... that grinds my gears too, i can deal with everything else but guys like that just irritate me. Im sorry it's not acceptable to grab a woman by her hair and drag her home.... Get over it
IP: Logged |
MetalAphrodite
Moderator Posts: 1422
From:
Registered: Jul 2012
|
posted September 03, 2013 03:16 PM
If the other person can still respect my values and I his, then there is no problem for the most part. If it directly crosses my values and threatens to give mine up, I try to evaluate the usefulness in doing so. My bf and I have different ways of processing information and often are at cross purposes at the expense of the other's comfort. We're also both stubborn and willful people. For the past couple of months, the only thing we really agreed on was our mutual love for one another and that was it. We're willing to talk about it, but I made it clear if there's no attempt at understanding what one values then there is no reason for us to be together. IP: Logged |
StarlightSmileSupreme
Knowflake Posts: 4129
From: neptune
Registered: Nov 2012
|
posted September 03, 2013 05:03 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Diplopoda:
Leeann Rimes is country too.So Adam Lamert, and song groups like one direction can they become country?
Sorry this confuses
No worries. Sometimes artists crossover from pop to country or country to pop. Classic rock can appeal to country demographic, too IP: Logged |
Lindaland
UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone! 
