posted October 30, 2013 03:21 PM            

Relationship & lifestyle columnist, founder of www.JustMyType.ca

The 11 Differences Between Dating A Girl And A Woman

Recently, I wrote a post on "The 11 Differences Between Dating a Boy vs. a Man." The post can have the genders swapped and most points would still apply. However, we can't deny that there are some fundamental differences between men and women -- from how we are socialized to the chemical and hormonal differences that naturally occur. Thus, I thought it appropriate to follow up with a post on the difference between dating a girl vs. a woman. Again, many points on this post would apply if you switched the genders around.

A boy is attracted to girls. A man is attracted to women. Now, this has nothing to do with the actual age of a person. I'm referring to maturity, life vision and stage of life. In fact, some people regardless of their age, will never really grow up. Also, this isn't to say that a woman won't ever have "girlish" or immature tendencies or vice versa. This post refers to one's maturity and most points would also apply if you switch the genders as well.

If you are a boy, then expect that you will attract only girls. However, if you are a man (independent, knows your worth and value, has a strong moral compass, is considerate and an able communicator and doesn't let insecurity dominate your psyche), then you should be dating a woman. And if you can't spot the difference just yet, here are some pointers:

1. A girl throws tantrums. When displeased, upset or angry, she reacts just as she did as a child when she didn't get her way with her parents. This often consists of screaming, pouting, giving the silent treatment, being passive aggressive and/or punishing. A woman still feels the emotions of being upset/displeased, but has cultivated the skill of responding versus reacting. She comes to the table as an adult, and communicates clearly what is bothering her.

2. A girl perceives herself as a princess and believes people should treat her like so. She is entitled and feels that she is owed and therefore expects more than she appreciates. A woman, has standards (what she holds herself to) not expectations (what she projects on to others).

3. A girl uses her physical beauty as her currency and basis of value. A girl may be so used to feeling validated through her looks and sexuality, that she uses this as her primary tool to get what she wants in life. A woman, knows her worth is beyond her physicality. A woman bases her value on her intelligence, her strength, her integrity, her values, her contributions, her humanity.

4. A girl banks on a man to be her financial strategy. A woman plans to be financially independent -- she banks on... herself. And if she so happens to enter a relationship dynamic where it makes sense for her partner to be the primary breadwinner, it's considered a bonus, not the expected life line.

5. A girl sees the world from a place of lack and scarcity. She competes and will even tear down another in order to secure resources or a mate. A woman helps other women. She knows that there's plenty enough to go around and takes the high road of integrity to get what she wants.

6. A girl cannot be bothered with anything domestic and is proud of the fact that she cannot cook or clean. A woman understands that being domestic is not a duty, but understands that it is one way of taking care of herself and others. She also understands that in the event she wants to create a family, having a person in the household who can contribute domestically is important.

7. "A girl wants attention, a woman wants respect. A girl wants to be adored by many. A woman wants to be adored by one." -anonymous

8. A girl does not respect her body. She has not yet understood that her body and heart are sacred, and that it's important to be mindful of how she treats it and who she shares it with.

"A girl cherishes handbags, diamonds and her shoe collection as her prize possessions. A woman cherishes her health, her sense of self, and her talents as her greatest assets." - N. Mah

9. A woman takes the time to reflect on the type of human she wants to be, the example she wants to leave and the vision for her life. She has put thought into her values and what she stands for. A girl has not established her moral compass or values and consequently, is often inconsistent.

"After spending time with a girl, you feel exhausted because she takes more than she gives. After spending time with a woman, you feel invigorated, because she empowers you with possibility, and a passion for life." - N. Mah

10. A girl has a checklist that prioritizes superficial qualities above anything else. Here is an example of how this checklist may look: Hot, popular, wears skinny jeans, over six feet tall, rich.. This is the checklist of what a woman may look for: High integrity, intelligent, kind, good communicator, emotionally available...

Now, a lot of these differences require taking the time to know someone to figure out if the apple of your eye is indeed a mature woman, or someone with an immature mindset. However, one of the quickest filters that you can notice from the beginning is this:

11. A girl plays games. A woman doesn't.

Amy Chan is a relationship and lifestyle columnist. To read more of her articles, visit www.JustMyType.ca

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posted October 30, 2013 03:47 PM            

I ain't telling which ones I do wrong

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Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.

posted October 30, 2013 03:51 PM            

Items 1 through 5 are distinctly the hallmarks of a Chinese woman. Chinese society expects a woman.. any woman... to be a princess and that the value of a man.. any man... is based on the ability to take complete care of his princess... A woman.. any woman... is full entitled to throw as large a tantrum as she pleases... It's the poor schlub's job to be the breadwinner! A proper princess never works!! or does housework. Only the wives of low-lives have to do housework. Surely you don't expect a princess to marry a low life.

posted October 30, 2013 05:25 PM            

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Originally posted by Randall:
It's not an either or; it's a continuum. She's talking about valuing one over the other. If a female values handbags over a sense of self, then, yes, she might be shallow. One can certainly have a degree of both.

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posted October 30, 2013 08:39 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Randall:
The issue is why do so many females attempt to date boys as characterized by that author's list?

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It said right here (and I think it's accurate):

quote:

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When I was in my early twenties, if a guy acted aloof, called back only sometimes and showed minimal interest, I would get hooked. You could say I was addicted to the bad boy/ unavailable boy/ player. I was drawn to what psychotherapist, Ken Page terms as “attractions of deprivation” – when we are drawn to people who embody the worst emotional characteristics of our parents. Basically, the theory explains that we are attracted to people who can wound us the same way we were wounded in our childhood, as our psyche tries to recreate the past void and save us by changing its ending.

“The child in us believes that if the original perpetrators — or their current replacements — finally change their minds, apologize, or make up for that terrible rupture of trust, we can escape from our prison of unworthiness. Our conscious self is drawn to the positive qualities we yearn for, but our unconscious draws us to the qualities which hurt us the most as children.” - Psychology Today

So games used to work on me because 1) I had unresolved daddy issues and 2) At the tender age of 20, I was trying to figure out who I was and to top it off, I was ridden with insecurity and a low sense of self-worth.

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But don't think it's just women. Plenty of men love poison, too. In some cases I think such men & women can only find someone as toxic as no one else will put up with their crap (or they want someone they feel they can control) but I do believe many have a very unhealthy attraction for what's bad for them. As an example look at the comments here and see how many guys find this insane woman attractive:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yh0AhrY9GjA

posted October 31, 2013 02:01 AM            

*To clarify, when I’m referring to “games” I mean mind games.

http://justmytype.ca/11-differences-between-dating-a-boy-vs-a-man/

posted November 05, 2013 03:57 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by DeepFreeze:
True!

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Sie hast mein namen genommen!

Schrei verwustung... und entgehen lassen die Hunde des krieges!