posted December 03, 2013 08:53 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Padre35:

To the point at hand, AG said the women was in a relationship as he found out later, which was speculated on earlier in the thread

That was dispensed with not based on evidence to the contrary (the objective approach) it was based solely on individual feelings on the matter overall.

IDK what to make of AG's issues with dating and the rest of it, do think that dismissing his claim out of hand b/c "it's not what I would have done" is a rather good example of feelings over objectivity.

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Not sure if you are talking about me or not. Why are people so deliberately vague sometimes?

In a way, my approach was objective, it was based on statistics (ie AG has a statistically high percentage of incidents where the woman was discovered to be deceitful) probabilities, and cause and effect.

I wonder who said, "That's not what I would have done."

posted December 04, 2013 06:21 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
Well that's just fine because your worthless opinion means nothing to me.

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And this is acceptable Moderator behaviour?

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
I was speaking of revealing that I found out that she had a boyfriend. After I revealed that some of you implied that I was lying about that to make myself look better. did it ever occur to you that I didn't reveal that at first because I didn't know it? Because that would make perfect wouldn't it? because that's what happened... Oh well I suppose its easier for ya'll to stay in your radical feminist mindset where women do no wrong and any man who says anything critical of women is a misogynistic liar. The way ya'll attack me betrays the anti-male sentiments you feel. You question every f *cking thing I say because it goes against your " men bad,women good" worldview. You can't handle the fact that sometimes women do men wrong so you attack me and twist everything against me. In your mind it's always my fault because I'm a man.The reaction to this specific instance proves this beyond a shadow of a doubt. Any rational person would see this was not my fault and the girl was clearly in the wrong . So what do ya' ll do? Get extremely agitated that you can't reasonably blame it all on me and accuse me of lying. I see it all too clearly now.

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Projection

posted December 04, 2013 07:28 AM            

I just wanted to give you some advice if this ever happens again...just be cool and ask very politely after she texts idk, text back, "why, do you have something else going on that night?" I think she didn't text back again because your response was a bit strong. If you don't appear annoyed about it she might text back telling you what's up so then you would know what the deal is, have something besides an idk.

Don't despair though. This kind of stuff happens all the time in the dating world.

Another question I have is, why didn't you try to talk to her on the phone instead of just texting? Then you could find out more by listening to her tone of voice, etc. Sometimes, you can tell when someone isn't being honest.

posted December 04, 2013 08:31 AM            

Notwithstanding that, having a derogatory opinion ipso facto does not entitle one to defamatory vilification, and libel is not protected by the Bill of Rights for Americans.

To the extent that abundant conclusive corroborative evidence is not posted in defense of such accusations, it is traducement. It is considered willful, negligent slander.

posted December 04, 2013 08:54 AM            

I'm sure aquaguy will think twice about calling all of us radical feminists again, after your solemn warning.

posted December 04, 2013 12:30 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by StarlightSmileSupreme:

Another question I have is, why didn't you try to talk to her on the phone instead of just texting? Then you could find out more by listening to her tone of voice, etc. Sometimes, you can tell when someone isn't being honest.

When you get into these situations, just keep calm, cool collected, detached Aqua type, to find out for sure what's going on so at least you would know what the deal is. Ask some questions and try to be cool about it, not defensive sounding.

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Exactly. That's what I said earlier.

People, in general, are much too obsessed w/ texting these days.

posted December 04, 2013 01:17 PM            

PoF is full of men who are looking for extracurricular sex buds...why not girls? Does sge owe you somwthing because she found it fun texting w/you?

"women always pull this so be honest" is a huge red flag that a)you don't have much luck connecting and b) you want to determine the outcome before investing your energy and c) you see women as difficult/dishonest...

That she didn't write you off immediately shows she is keeping an open mind. I would run a mile as I said earlier. "This guy is going to be looking for reasons to blame me for every little thing" is the msg it would give me.

posted December 04, 2013 02:32 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Catalina:
You talk about feminists but the people here address you as YOU not "another man"...while you lump all women who try to give you clues as "misogynists"...somehow I think you have it backwards.

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posted December 04, 2013 06:16 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Faith:
Thanks YTA.

I'm sure aquaguy will think twice about calling all of us radical feminists again, after your solemn warning.

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When i read that from him, i had to break out into a huge smile and giggle. I think anyone else who has been here long enough and knows Faith & I well enough, probably did too. Yes, look out for us two! Hardcore radical feminists we are!

If i could properly describe the feeling upon reading that it would be akin to sitting in front of a cranky infant in a stinky diaper chucking his rattle at my face - or trying to at least...

there was enough strength for it to sail through the air very briefly, but lose steam about halfway between us and plummet to the ground and hit the floor.

These types of things are adorable and you don't get mad at the baby. It meant no harm. It doesnt know any better!

If sticking up for women is wrong, or in this day and age risky and something that will get me labeled as a hardcore feminist by some jaded 26 year old d*ck, then i don't want to be right.

Sorry I love both sexes equally aquaguy, and that you don't yet.

posted December 04, 2013 06:20 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Faith:
Not sure if you are talking about me or not. Why are people so deliberately vague sometimes?

In a way, my approach was objective, it was based on statistics (ie AG has a statistically high percentage of incidents where the woman was discovered to be deceitful) probabilities, and cause and effect.

I wonder who said, "That's not what I would have done."

Did anyone?

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I most certainly did say such a thing, that was based on my judgment and experiences in the dating world.

What struck me is my discussion w/Odette about the "Society of va-jay jay" and how women tend to be mutually re-enforce each other at times.

At other times, women can be far more misogynistic then a man could ever be.

Simply trying to explain that to AG before he went full on persecution complex, which he invariably did..which online is very hard to explain why that is not the thing to do as it simply poisons the well for the potential "next".

My advice would be to laugh it off, take the lesson from it, and move on with a smile and buoyant attitude..as I can certainly assure him..next woman he likes will not really want to hear about how so and so did such and such.

What would be worse, is recounting a litany of so and so's doing such and such..which if one has talked with women before comes off as (to her ear): "..wow..there has been a lot of girls who were not in to him, there must be a reason why..."

posted December 04, 2013 06:25 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by T:
When i read that from him, i had to break out into a huge smile and giggle. I think anyone else who has been here long enough and knows Faith & I well enough, probably did too. Yes, look out for us two! Hardcore radical feminists we are!

If i could properly describe the feeling upon reading that it would be akin to sitting in front of a cranky infant in a stinky diaper chucking his rattle at my face - or trying to at least...

there was enough strength for it to sail through the air very briefly, but lose steam about halfway between us and plummet to the ground and hit the floor.

These types of things are adorable and you don't get mad at the baby. It meant no harm. It doesnt know any better!

If sticking up for women is wrong, or in this day and age risky and something that will get me labeled as a hardcore feminist by some jaded 26 year old d*ck, then i don't want to be right.

Sorry I love both sexes equally aquaguy, and that you don't yet.

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*Edit* let me preface my spot on comment with I do think the WIQ (woman in question) was out of bounds by escalating the situation by volunteering her number so quickly, as if in the modern era women do not know what that will look like to a guy, on a dating site.

Will that escalate, or de-escalate?

The rest I quite agree with

Spot on, and said in a way that I could never say it.

Especially the sort of dirty diaper portion, which is what I was trying to say in a roundabout way you do not want to do when you meet someone new that he'd be interested in.

Recounting a litany of women who rejected you does not come off as being a sensitive, caring man, it comes off as a baby in a dirty diaper!*

posted December 04, 2013 10:45 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Faith:
I LOVE when you come around, you say things that make me yell at the screen, "Hell yeah! Just like that!!!"

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Same here. You make me want to take my bra off and hold it next to yours to use as kindle to light my own aflame.

posted December 04, 2013 10:51 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by teasel:
This reminds me of a man I stopped responding to, in 2011, on a dating site. He seemed nice enough at first, but his profile was full of bitterness, and he would edit it to add more frustration in.

When I was feeling to emotionally dodgy and bitter to be there, I wrote, "I'm too bitter to be here" and received a flood of messages. It was weird, and felt like I was being pounced on in a state of vulnerability.

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posted December 04, 2013 11:01 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Catalina:
Me three. What's the rush? Sometimes "IDK" means "more info needed please"

PoF is full of men who are looking for extracurricular sex buds...why not girls? Does sge owe you somwthing because she found it fun texting w/you?

"women always pull this so be honest" is a huge red flag that a)you don't have much luck connecting and b) you want to determine the outcome before investing your energy and c) you see women as difficult/dishonest...

That she didn't write you off immediately shows she is keeping an open mind. I would run a mile as I said earlier. "This guy is going to be looking for reasons to blame me for every little thing" is the msg it would give me.

You talk about feminists but the people here address you as YOU not "another man"...while you lump all women who try to give you clues as "misogynists"...somehow I think you have it backwards.

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posted December 04, 2013 11:09 PM            

from this perspective it seemed like he was asking if she wanted to hook up for sex or not

posted December 04, 2013 11:23 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by T:
Padre, i hear you on many of your points. Nice of you to be like the patient big brother too.

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Thanks T, that is merely a byproduct of lots of time listening, and lots of time listening...and lots of time reading the Bible

posted December 05, 2013 12:22 AM            

quote:

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i would have thought......okay, this dude's just looking for a quick sex hook up. why's he rushing me?

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Honestly - I would've just thought - this dude sounds jaded and hurt. He's obviously had some negative experiences and he's projecting them my way - so I'll just be honest and tell him what I think... and if I'm not ready to date - I could tell him that also.

So it would be ball in his court!
If I clearly said.. "Actually I just want to keep chatting for some time. I'm not interested in seeing you face2face yet. I'm not ready for that".. and afterwards he kept insisting and he didn't respect my boundaries... then I would avoid him.

posted December 05, 2013 06:52 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by T:
Same here. You make me want to take my bra off and hold it next to yours to use as kindle to light my own aflame.

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What a great sentiment, I'd be more than happy to support you both.

posted December 05, 2013 10:04 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by T:
Same here. You make me want to take my bra off and hold it next to yours to use as kindle to light my own aflame.

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ROTFLMAO!!!

posted December 05, 2013 10:13 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Swift Freeze:
What a great sentiment, I'd be more than happy to support you both.

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Thanks SF! I think it's great that you want to support this online militant feminist community. We radical feminists are always looking for a few good men....you know, the ones who have repented for being born male and are willing to try and atone for their gender.

You can burn your bra too, but first you have to wear the evil contraption for a while. To really get in touch with female pain, I invite you to chose one that is tight fitting with underwire support that digs into your ribs and cuts off circulation to the lymph nodes in your armpits (which are unshaven, just like ours.) A faulty bra with padding that goes wonky and betrays the fact that your boobs aren't actually as big as you were pretending will help you get the most from your experience.

Then we can all start our healing together.