posted December 03, 2013 03:43 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by MetalAphrodite:
I have met friends and dated people that I've met online first then in real life. I am currently with a guy I've been dating online for a year and some months that I've known since 2010.

If you have or are looking for love or friendship online, why do you do it?

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It's not so much about seeking to "find" love/friendship online - I'm simply open to meeting people in many different ways. I don't believe in closing myself off!

I have dozens of people that I consider "friends" online that I've known for years - from both genders, different races, ages & locations. These people I don't mind meeting either. In fact, I've already met some of them. Turned out just fine!

As for dating, it's all mostly the same for me. I've met some weirdos online...and I've met weirdos offline. I will *NOT* begin an actual relationship with someone who *SOLEY* communicates online though. We must experience each other in person before I commit!

I meet & communicate with people in person often, so I'm in NO WAY against doing things the "old-fashioned" way either.

I don't care whether I first met you on a forum/networking site...or if I first met you at a party or through a friend -- the kind of person you are carries more weight (with me) than how we "connected".

posted December 03, 2013 04:54 PM            

I don't get the dating (as opposed to "hook up" which also gets called "dating") online thing, I'm not the least bit surprised by all the problems people have with it. To me it comes off as perfect to someone already married to meet up with someone on the side and better able to make sure such flings don't bleed into their everyday life. And it facilitates the players, the ones who have a talent of finding how to find your buttons to better manipulate you with. And even when people are completely honest (which seems even rarer than real life) the chemistry that exists online sometimes fizzles out once meeting in real life (and it's not the looks as they already knew what each other looked liked).

posted December 04, 2013 09:31 AM            

This increases other people, presumably who are looking for some level of interaction, access to the profile and the person.

Downside is, there really is no quality control, anyone can message anyone else.

The oddity to me is a sort of cottage industry has sprung up around offering advice on how to make ones profile look the best it can. After all it does boil down to adverts, so putting the best image out there possible makes sense. It's more I never considered that would happen even in marketing classes.

posted December 04, 2013 04:05 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Faith:

I've only joined three forums in my life. Several years ago I made a very good friend on another forum, I seriously don't know where I would be without her. We both left the forum but still email regularly, send each other pictures and birthday presents, and have marathon phone conversations. She's German and lives in Bavaria; I never met her.

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Aww that's nice!

posted December 04, 2013 06:08 PM            

I go online because the marketplace of ideas is just so vast and fascinating to me.

Conversations can happen online that rarely happen outside the net b/c the market for them is simply massive.

I've been to a couple of meetups, met some great friends, that remain friends to this day via being online.

Specifically, I'm here at LL b/c I grew up around psychic/astrology/numerology, which back in the day was a solitary pursuit. To find a community, or communities that actually interact and share information daily and even hourly is a rare thing for me.

posted December 04, 2013 06:37 PM            

Got to know only a handful of people here, but my interactions have become very much one based on 'quality' relationship, over quantity.... I'm actually very "shy" when it comes to saying things about my self. In other world-situations, I can get people talking about themselves, and give them long advice! But in the end, you can say I had "talked a lot"~~ but not many persons 'noticed' that I WASN'T talking about 'ME" and what was important to 'me'... I shrank and would sting inside~~ and it didn't help me that there were people so BORED if the 'attention' wasn't on 'themselves' or their OWN Best Friends.

So, I've learned how to identify and empathize with others who feel like that fly on the wall. The ones who talk a lot, but don't feel that 'others' would take the time to cherish what the Truth is for THEM! (I feel joy when 'that one' feels like the things they say DO 'matter and count' to SOMEBODY.... (oh! and that 'somebody' is ME *grin*)

I've needed to learn 'how' to trust myself and to begin to open up and talk about myself with others. yeah.... dare to be "vain" or "selfish".... (my mom stomped me, filled me with all the 'bad' news about 'who I am' and how much others hate me, and how I don't 'deserve' friends--- yup, she actually ripped the phone out of my hand to TELL my new friends that I didn't 'deserve' to have friends... then she HUNG UP on them. ~~ terrible sadness and grief... and that didn't exactly put me on the popularity-list in my school years.... I felt such shame.)

Feedback is always good to get.... Means that I'm not just "a void in space" and that I AM alive. Right now. I am alive.

Been trying to breaking the awful sense of isolation (and grief) I've been feeling for years (not knowing it, really). It's time to come out of hiding now... And some of you already know how I also LOVE being a support whenever I can, or if I can feel helpful in any kind of way.

I'm NOT looking for dates. (Gotta learn to love myself first, then). Just want to have exchanges with 'interesting' regular~weirdness-type people I can feel 'comfortable' with. I like to find out about your REAL lives-- You broaden my perspectives. I love that LL is international, too.

But mostly, sometimes I just need to 'reach out' through the internet for some human comfort and caring companions.... yeah, I sound pathetic. but I gotta start somewhere...

posted December 04, 2013 07:15 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by mirage29:
I'm online because of isolation.... I've been feeling trapped in recent years, and was looking for a way to breakout of my inner prison. Astrology was helping me so much. Looked at a couple other sites, and felt 'safer' here. I hung out on ONE thread, in ONE forum for the looooongest time. Jovian, and Linda Jones left URLS to other conversations going on in different topics. From there I began very slowly to expand out, and to explore the various forums.

Got to know only a handful of people here, but my interactions have become very much one based on 'quality' relationship, over quantity.... I'm actually very "shy" when it comes to saying things about my self. In other world-situations, I can get people talking about themselves, and give them long advice! But in the end, you can say I had "talked a lot"~~ but not many persons 'noticed' that I WASN'T talking about 'ME" and what was important to 'me'... I shrank and would sting inside~~ and it didn't help me that there were people so BORED if the 'attention' wasn't on 'themselves' or their OWN Best Friends.

So, I've learned how to identify and empathize with others who feel like that fly on the wall. The ones who talk a lot, but don't feel that 'others' would take the time to cherish what the Truth is for THEM! (I feel joy when 'that one' feels like the things they say DO 'matter and count' to SOMEBODY.... (oh! and that 'somebody' is ME *grin*)

I've needed to learn 'how' to trust myself and to begin to open up and talk about myself with others. yeah.... dare to be "vain" or "selfish".... (my mom stomped me, filled me with all the 'bad' news about 'who I am' and how much others hate me, and how I don't 'deserve' friends--- yup, she actually ripped the phone out of my hand to TELL my new friends that I didn't 'deserve' to have friends... then she HUNG UP on them. ~~ terrible sadness and grief... and that didn't exactly put me on the popularity-list in my school years.... I felt such shame.)

Feedback is always good to get.... Means that I'm not just "a void in space" and that I AM alive. Right now. I am alive.

Been trying to breaking the awful sense of isolation (and grief) I've been feeling for years (not knowing it, really). It's time to come out of hiding now... And some of you already know how I also LOVE being a support whenever I can, or if I can feel helpful in any kind of way.

I'm NOT looking for dates. (Gotta learn to love myself first, then). Just want to have exchanges with 'interesting' regular~weirdness-type people I can feel 'comfortable' with. I like to find out about your REAL lives-- You broaden my perspectives. I love that LL is international, too.

But mostly, sometimes I just need to 'reach out' through the internet for some human comfort and caring companions.... yeah, I sound pathetic. but I gotta start somewhere...

(music) Hello (Neil Diamond) [3:28] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K0MIKngHn_c

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Feel you Mirage, sounds like you have been going through it, isolation, self doubt, uncertainty, grief.

Online, there are people one can challenge, there are also those who are looking for answers or argument.

There is also a third, the wounded who just wish to socialize as best they can.

posted December 04, 2013 07:20 PM            

Also.. something I really like online is that people are generally more honest about expressing their views and opinions, in an anonymous setting.
Social falsity can be off-putting to me.. and there isn't as much of that online.

posted December 04, 2013 10:16 PM            

Buy them an ice cream at the checkout.

posted December 04, 2013 10:21 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
from a single guys perspective, online dating is one of the few legitimate options to meet women. You have to consider that its a social faux paux to cold approach women or ask them out at work/school , so what does that leave besides clubs or social connections? I think the best way to meet a partner is through mutual friends but what if your social network doesn't put you in contact with women you have a mutual attraction with? If you don't have that option you are basically left with bars/clubs or online dating .

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Wow..are you wound up

How about settling yourself and saying "hi, you have such a nice smile/light in your eyes/..are you seeing anyone atm..."?

posted December 04, 2013 10:25 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Padre35:
Wow..are you wound up

How about settling yourself and saying "hi, you have such a nice smile/light in your eyes/..are you seeing anyone atm..."?

Eh, do what one will..buena suerte with that

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posted December 04, 2013 10:34 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Padre35:
[b] Wow..are you wound up

How about settling yourself and saying "hi, you have such a nice smile/light in your eyes/..are you seeing anyone atm..."?

Eh, do what one will..buena suerte with that

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posted December 04, 2013 10:37 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Padre35:
Yeah, you are wound up

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posted December 04, 2013 10:46 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
I'm probably one of the calmest people in the world, but ok.... If you say so

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So do tell me AG, how many trespasses has one suffered that one does keep in you world view?

posted December 04, 2013 10:53 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Padre35:
So do tell me AG, how many trespasses has one suffered that one does keep in you world view?

Keep in mind though Brother, I am being reminded of some things that are personally painful.

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posted December 04, 2013 11:16 PM            

quote:

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its a social faux paux to cold approach women or ask them out at work/school

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This is exactly why I met all my exes at school, through work or through a sport I was playing as a hobby.

No one who approaches me by just asking me out will get a positive response - because you know I'm demisexual.. so it would seem pointless to say 'yes' when I'm 100% sure that we won't be having sex in the next 6 months or even longer.

People who approach with just dating in mind would expect sex much sooner - than I would have any intention of going there lol

posted December 04, 2013 11:25 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Padre35:
[b] So do tell me AG, how many trespasses has one suffered that one does keep in you world view?

Keep in mind though Brother, I am being reminded of some things that are personally painful.

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posted December 05, 2013 02:32 PM            

Sometimes, I'd like to think that online life is neatly contained. That it is a place I can experience excitement with less risk. I'm not really a barfly or a person who finds fun going to a club or anything like that. Kudos to those who like it, more power to you, but that's not my style.

I like meeting people online. I think it's bringing together a lot of people who ordinarily would never have been able to meet. One of my best friends lives in Australia and we've known each other for ten years. One day, I would like to meet her.

posted December 05, 2013 06:08 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Kerosene:
Online relationships and friendships depress me.
I really enjoy one on one human interaction, like the body heat you can feel while you sit next to them and lean in to look at things.

Unfortunately with the internet we're going to evolve into antisocial beings that are connected with each other in some type of virtual reality..
The only reason I go online is to interact with people while I'm alone or unable to interact with others in real life.

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