Author
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Topic: Need advice on a cancer moon girl
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aquaguy91 Moderator Posts: 7992 From: tennessee Registered: Jan 2012
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posted December 14, 2013 04:05 PM
I have been seeing a girl with aqua sun, libra rising, and cancer moon and it's been going really good for the most part. The only problem is she is way too touchy feely for me. We went on a date last night (dinner and a movie) and she never took her hands off of me the whole time. She got offended whenever I would let go of her hand and assumed I was mad at her lol. I really like her and we have a good connection but as an aqua man I can't handle too much togetherness if you catch my drift. How should I go about letting her know this? She is extremely sensitive and I don't know how to tell her to chill out without hurting her feelings.IP: Logged |
Barbiegirl19 Knowflake Posts: 2490 From: 🔮 Registered: Jul 2013
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posted December 14, 2013 04:38 PM
Cancer anything are like this so that's definitely where it's coming from. Lol you could just be honest with her and say gently that you wanna take things slow(meaning touching) IP: Logged |
Swift Freeze Knowflake Posts: 529 From: One World Registered: Nov 2009
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posted December 15, 2013 07:32 AM
Well that's a shame. She sounds like a tactile person. Someone whom expresses themselves through touch.I'm not exactly sure what it is you are uncomfortable with? If you don't feel that you are at a stage where you feel comfortable to be holding her hand. If you think that she needs constant reassurance because she is always holding your hand. If what you don't like is actually holding her hand, then I don't really know what to say. Either it is something you can work out with her or not. Part of being with someone, friendship or otherwise, is learning and accepting the way they express themselves, and vice versa. You can always sit down and have a talk with her, probably best to do it in a quiet homey private environment, holding her hand, and say something positive like, I think things between us are good, I noticed you like to hold my hand, any reason? =) She may or may not say anything, and depending you can reply like, Oh okay, it's just something I haven't really experienced much in the past... etc. It basically depends on you two reaching a compromise. I will say though, that I am a tactile person, so I can understand what you mean when you say, if I stop holding her hand, she thinks I'm mad or something. I can understand that, but eh. Like some people, if you don't talk to them for a bit, they think you're upset with them or something. It all depends on how people prefer to... communicate and demonstrate fondness etc. Basically, the point is, you can address the issue, but if you don't want to upset her, then try and do it gently, and don't make it seem like touching her, or holding her hand is something that disgusts you, just something you haven't really experienced. Probably having a degree of Aspergers makes the whole touching communication difficult, since it is a body language and not a direct or straight forward way of communicating. Maybe it's something you can both learn, you can ask her about how she's feeling, encourage her to be a bit more verbal and the like, and she can encourage you to be a bit less verbal and help you understand some of the subtle communications. Wish you the best with whatever you decide to do. ------------------ Learn lots. Don't judge. Laugh for no reason. Be nice. Seek Happiness. Follow your dreams. IP: Logged |
aquaguy91 Moderator Posts: 7992 From: tennessee Registered: Jan 2012
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posted December 15, 2013 11:33 AM
quote: Originally posted by Swift Freeze: Well that's a shame. She sounds like a tactile person. Someone whom expresses themselves through touch.I'm not exactly sure what it is you are uncomfortable with? If you don't feel that you are at a stage where you feel comfortable to be holding her hand. If you think that she needs constant reassurance because she is always holding your hand. If what you don't like is actually holding her hand, then I don't really know what to say. Either it is something you can work out with her or not. Part of being with someone, friendship or otherwise, is learning and accepting the way they express themselves, and vice versa. You can always sit down and have a talk with her, probably best to do it in a quiet homey private environment, holding her hand, and say something positive like, I think things between us are good, I noticed you like to hold my hand, any reason? =) She may or may not say anything, and depending you can reply like, Oh okay, it's just something I haven't really experienced much in the past... etc. It basically depends on you two reaching a compromise. I will say though, that I am a tactile person, so I can understand what you mean when you say, if I stop holding her hand, she thinks I'm mad or something. I can understand that, but eh. Like some people, if you don't talk to them for a bit, they think you're upset with them or something. It all depends on how people prefer to... communicate and demonstrate fondness etc. Basically, the point is, you can address the issue, but if you don't want to upset her, then try and do it gently, and don't make it seem like touching her, or holding her hand is something that disgusts you, just something you haven't really experienced. Probably having a degree of Aspergers makes the whole touching communication difficult, since it is a body language and not a direct or straight forward way of communicating. Maybe it's something you can both learn, you can ask her about how she's feeling, encourage her to be a bit more verbal and the like, and she can encourage you to be a bit less verbal and help you understand some of the subtle communications. Wish you the best with whatever you decide to do.
it's not just hand holding lol. And I'm not bothered by intimacy and touch itself , it's just the sheer amount that she needs. Too much togetherness is suffocating for this aquarian man. LolIP: Logged |
HRH-FishAreFish Knowflake Posts: 432 From: St. Paul, Land of 10,000 Seas Registered: May 2013
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posted December 15, 2013 11:38 AM
quote:
From Carolyn Reynolds's The Book of Lovers..."This is the most emotional configuration of the Aquarian women, and she acts a lot like her Cancer Moon personality. She'll be less detached and rationalizing than her Aquarian sisters. She craves a stable home life, kids and a husband..." Her illumination: Generous, sound. Her dark side: Emotive.
"How should I go about letting her know this?" I'd just hold her hand. Or you could always find a 'chatty Cathy' who talks with her hands so much that she doesn't have time to hold yours. LOve & LIght , HRH ------------------ Got the Wings of Heaven on my Shoes. I'm a dancin man and I just can't lose. You know it's all right. Its ok. I'll live to see another day. We can try to understand the New York Times' effect on man. Whether you're a Brother or whether you're a Mother, you're stayin' alive, stayin' alive. Stayin' Alive ~ The Bee Gees IP: Logged |
LovelyAries86 Knowflake Posts: 1083 From: OH, USA Registered: Dec 2012
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posted December 16, 2013 10:31 AM
I have Cancer Moon. I'm affectionate. But not with every guy, just the special ones. I do love hugs & having his arms wrapped around me. I do not feel the need to do this 'all day' though. I'm loving, but not overly clingy AT ALL. Every Cancer-influenced person is not like this so I'm tired of people assuming this. LOL. Anyway, if this girl is on you too much you simply need to tell her - explain your style to her. Show her your 'affection' in other ways so that she knows that you really are into her. Be kind, gentle, assuring in your approach. IP: Logged |
Padre35 Knowflake Posts: 2887 From: Asheville, NC, US Registered: Jul 2012
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posted December 16, 2013 11:52 AM
AG...so uhm you are into this girl who cannot keep her hands off of you and this is a problem?Can I have your address so I can walk to TN and kick your ass?
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libraschoice77 Knowflake Posts: 1403 From: past, present, and future Registered: Aug 2010
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posted December 16, 2013 12:20 PM
quote: Originally posted by Padre35:
AG...so uhm you are into this girl who cannot keep her hands off of you and this is a problem?Can I have your address so I can walk to TN and kick your ass?
Lol, thats what I was thinking when I read this, he should be happy this girl is so into him...go with it Aquaguy91 !
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Padre35 Knowflake Posts: 2887 From: Asheville, NC, US Registered: Jul 2012
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posted December 16, 2013 12:28 PM
quote: Originally posted by libraschoice77: Lol, thats what I was thinking when I read this, he should be happy this girl is so into him...go with it Aquaguy91 !
I know right, my goodness say "yes" to being happy for a moment, not saying this is AG's future wife, am saying...goodness..be happy Have fun, life is not a desert IP: Logged |
Ellynlvx Knowflake Posts: 2637 From: Mountain Gate Registered: Aug 2013
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posted December 16, 2013 01:39 PM
Hope you are having a Good Day, Padre? IP: Logged |
aquaguy91 Moderator Posts: 7992 From: tennessee Registered: Jan 2012
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posted December 16, 2013 03:04 PM
quote: Originally posted by Padre35:
AG...so uhm you are into this girl who cannot keep her hands off of you and this is a problem?Can I have your address so I can walk to TN and kick your ass?
Lol I live in the Knoxville area. So I'm pretty close to you . I'm not saying it's a bad thing that she is into me it's more I don't want it to become a bad thing. One must understand the psychology of an Aquarius man to know where I'm coming from. We ( aqua men) have a reputation for being cold and distant, a reputation that is undeserved in my opinion. We can enjoy intimacy and togetherness as much as any other sign but we do need down time. That is where the cold and distant reputation starts IMO ... The troubling thing is it is hard to discuss this sort of thing with a woman who is crazy about you. IP: Logged |
LovelyAries86 Knowflake Posts: 1083 From: OH, USA Registered: Dec 2012
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posted December 16, 2013 04:34 PM
quote: Originally posted by aquaguy91: One must understand the psychology of an Aquarius man to know where I'm coming from. We ( aqua men) have a reputation for being cold and distant
But isn't she an Aqua too?? How do you typically do w/ Water-influenced people AG? IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways Knowflake Posts: 6520 From: Registered: Oct 2011
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posted December 16, 2013 04:55 PM
Not compatible in the long run.Imagine a decade of marriage later when you are stuck late nights in the office and she is stuck at home longing for you. Let me show you my 50+ text msgs from a Cancer ASC wife everyday, 20 years later. I caution you that at this level of intensity, she expects marriage inside of a year. Just speaking from experience. Sitting down and reasoning will also end in disaster. Just speaking from experience. IP: Logged |
Odette Knowflake Posts: 3082 From: Registered: May 2012
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posted December 16, 2013 05:00 PM
Padre - quote: AG...so uhm you are into this girl who cannot keep her hands off of you and this is a problem? Can I have your address so I can walk to TN and kick your ass?
LOL... Please .. Please do! IP: Logged |
aquaguy91 Moderator Posts: 7992 From: tennessee Registered: Jan 2012
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posted December 16, 2013 05:11 PM
quote: Originally posted by LovelyAries86: But isn't she an Aqua too?? How do you typically do w/ Water-influenced people AG?
Yes, but I think that cancer moon kind of overpowers the aqua sun. I love water placement girls because they are warm . Only problem is they are so warm they singe my eyebrows if you know what I mean. IP: Logged |
aquaguy91 Moderator Posts: 7992 From: tennessee Registered: Jan 2012
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posted December 16, 2013 05:11 PM
quote: Originally posted by Odette: Padre - LOL... Please .. Please do!
Boo! Lol IP: Logged |
aquaguy91 Moderator Posts: 7992 From: tennessee Registered: Jan 2012
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posted December 16, 2013 05:13 PM
quote: Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways: Not compatible in the long run.Imagine a decade of marriage later when you are stuck late nights in the office and she is stuck at home longing for you. Let me show you my 50+ text msgs from a Cancer ASC wife everyday, 20 years later. I caution you that at this level of intensity, she expects marriage inside of a year. Just speaking from experience. Sitting down and reasoning will also end in disaster. Just speaking from experience.
So any negotiations will be about as successful as the treaties between North and South Korea? Lol IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways Knowflake Posts: 6520 From: Registered: Oct 2011
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posted December 16, 2013 06:39 PM
quote: Originally posted by aquaguy91: So any negotiations will be about as successful as the treaties between North and South Korea? Lol
You'll need six party negotiations, and you know how that went. IP: Logged |
Padre35 Knowflake Posts: 2887 From: Asheville, NC, US Registered: Jul 2012
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posted December 16, 2013 07:02 PM
quote: Originally posted by aquaguy91: Lol I live in the Knoxville area. So I'm pretty close to you . I'm not saying it's a bad thing that she is into me it's more I don't want it to become a bad thing. One must understand the psychology of an Aquarius man to know where I'm coming from. We ( aqua men) have a reputation for being cold and distant, a reputation that is undeserved in my opinion. We can enjoy intimacy and togetherness as much as any other sign but we do need down time. That is where the cold and distant reputation starts IMO ... The troubling thing is it is hard to discuss this sort of thing with a woman who is crazy about you.
I know the hamburg place area fairly well, and the UT campus... Dude, the Universe is giving you what you need atm, do not turn that into lemons How can I put this...do not reject affection when wants affection or the balance will shift and you shall get none b/c your frame of mind is "I don't want affection" If one wants to be left alone, believe me, you will be left alone IP: Logged |
aquaguy91 Moderator Posts: 7992 From: tennessee Registered: Jan 2012
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posted December 16, 2013 07:07 PM
quote: Originally posted by Padre35: I know the hamburg place area fairly well, and the UT campus...Dude, the Universe is giving you what you need atm, do not turn that into lemons How can I put this...do not reject affection when wants affection or the balance will shift and you shall get none b/c your frame of mind is "I don't want affection" If one wants to be left alone, believe me, you will be left alone
Hamburg place? Never heard of it. I suppose you are right. Maybe I'm just too stubborn
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Odette Knowflake Posts: 3082 From: Registered: May 2012
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posted December 16, 2013 07:26 PM
How old is she?IP: Logged |
Padre35 Knowflake Posts: 2887 From: Asheville, NC, US Registered: Jul 2012
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posted December 16, 2013 07:35 PM
quote: Originally posted by aquaguy91: [QUOTE]Originally posted by Padre35: [b] I know the hamburg place area fairly well, and the UT campus...Dude, the Universe is giving you what you need atm, do not turn that into lemons How can I put this...do not reject affection when wants affection or the balance will shift and you shall get none b/c your frame of mind is "I don't want affection" If one wants to be left alone, believe me, you will be left alone
Hamburg place? Never heard of it. I suppose you are right. Maybe I'm just too stubborn[/B][/QUOTE]It's the road that runs directly to the UT campus in town. Then again, it's been awhile since I lived there IP: Logged |
aquaguy91 Moderator Posts: 7992 From: tennessee Registered: Jan 2012
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posted December 16, 2013 07:48 PM
quote: Originally posted by Odette: How old is she?
23 IP: Logged |
aquaguy91 Moderator Posts: 7992 From: tennessee Registered: Jan 2012
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posted December 16, 2013 07:49 PM
quote: Originally posted by Padre35: It's the road that runs directly to the UT campus in town.Then again, it's been awhile since I lived there
You mean Cumberland Ave IP: Logged |
Padre35 Knowflake Posts: 2887 From: Asheville, NC, US Registered: Jul 2012
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posted December 16, 2013 08:18 PM
quote: Originally posted by aquaguy91: You mean Cumberland Ave
Yep, as I've said, it's been awhile. I used to live around the post office. Not a fan of Knoxville at all, what a fake ass plastic town that is AG=Getting affection=must find problem in situation. You to a "T" IP: Logged |