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Topic: Hypersensitive people: how do you deal with them?
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aquaguy91 Moderator Posts: 8275 From: tennessee Registered: Jan 2012
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posted January 13, 2014 06:25 PM
Maybe it's because I'm a double Aquarius but I just can't deal with these people. I'm talking about the type of person who gets offended and upset over everything. They also tend to completely shut down and cannot communicate like a rational and mature adult when they get upset , they prefer to pout and not confront people and clear up misunderstandings. How do hypersensitive people even function in the real world? How can a normal person be around them without them having a meltdown? It's like walking on eggshells just being around them.IP: Logged |
Ellynlvx Knowflake Posts: 3763 From: Mountain Gate Registered: Aug 2013
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posted January 13, 2014 08:30 PM
What happened, Aquaguy?IP: Logged |
12muddy Knowflake Posts: 1311 From: Registered: Feb 2013
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posted January 13, 2014 08:37 PM
Well I say let the eggshells crack lolSeriously though, you may want to try to be as considerate as you possibly can. And if they get offended anyway then... well, there's nothing more you can do. Ignore it if the circumstances allow. But I kinda feel you on this matter. I find it hard to deal with people who shut down and withdraw. I can deal with the need for space and time to think - but not sullen silence. I'd much rather talk or fight about it (moon in the 3rd) and get the matter resolved quickly. IP: Logged |
aquaguy91 Moderator Posts: 8275 From: tennessee Registered: Jan 2012
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posted January 13, 2014 09:22 PM
quote: Originally posted by 12muddy: Well I say let the eggshells crack lolSeriously though, you may want to try to be as considerate as you possibly can. And if they get offended anyway then... well, there's nothing more you can do. Ignore it if the circumstances allow. But I kinda feel you on this matter. I find it hard to deal with people who shut down and withdraw. I can deal with the need for space and time to think - but not sullen silence. I'd much rather talk or fight about it (moon in the 3rd) and get the matter resolved quickly.
I have moon in the 3rd too! I also have mars in the 3rd.. Maybe that's the reason I don't have tolerance for these types of people. It's like if you have a problem with me tell me.
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aquaguy91 Moderator Posts: 8275 From: tennessee Registered: Jan 2012
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posted January 13, 2014 09:24 PM
quote: Originally posted by Ellynlvx: What happened, Aquaguy?
Lol I will explain later. IP: Logged |
Odette Knowflake Posts: 3326 From: Registered: May 2012
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posted January 13, 2014 09:24 PM
I don't know but I am dealing with one right now. :\Do you want to see his chart? IP: Logged |
aquaguy91 Moderator Posts: 8275 From: tennessee Registered: Jan 2012
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posted January 13, 2014 09:27 PM
^you too? Lol yea show us. I can't deal with it ... Why do I always have to attract watery women?? IP: Logged |
Ami Anne Moderator Posts: 51161 From: Pluto/house next to NickiG Registered: Sep 2010
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posted January 13, 2014 09:27 PM
I think sooner or later, they will get mad at you and leave. If you are real, they will leave. If you are fake, you can prolly keep them, but is it worth it?------------------ Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course. http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
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YoursTrulyAlways Knowflake Posts: 6651 From: Registered: Oct 2011
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posted January 13, 2014 09:46 PM
You talking about me? How dare you talk about me like that! Hahaha. Just kidding. I've lost count on how many people in LL have called me hypersensitive. IP: Logged |
aquaguy91 Moderator Posts: 8275 From: tennessee Registered: Jan 2012
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posted January 14, 2014 12:12 AM
quote: Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways: You talking about me? How dare you talk about me like that! Hahaha. Just kidding. I've lost count on how many people in LL have called me hypersensitive.
I don't consider you hypersensitive IP: Logged |
teasel Knowflake Posts: 5916 From: Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 14, 2014 12:37 AM
I can be hypersensitive, or more relaxed, depending on life circumstances. I don't know how to respond.IP: Logged |
12muddy Knowflake Posts: 1311 From: Registered: Feb 2013
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posted January 14, 2014 12:53 AM
YTA, I don't think you are. But even if that were true, your directness would probably solve more than half of the problem (or prevent some of the potential problems). To me hypersensitivity alone isn't that bad. I guess everyone can be hypersensitive about certain matters. Aquaguy, yeah I know what you mean. Like if they get offended and tell me, then I explain myself and then the problem may be laid at rest. In my experience, when it combines with avoidance + passive aggressive behaviour, it becomes one brimming stew pot. I've found that diplomacy, a lot of coaxing, grovelling and patience may work. The only questions remain: "Is that person worth it?" and "Do the circumstances call for it?"
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12muddy Knowflake Posts: 1311 From: Registered: Feb 2013
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posted January 14, 2014 12:53 AM
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PixieJane Moderator Posts: 3591 From: CA Registered: Oct 2010
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posted January 14, 2014 04:02 AM
Generally speaking I give allowances for those having a bad day (or three) and also try to note triggers (it seems more people have these than not, and as for those who don't seem to have any triggers I probably just haven't discovered them yet) and avoid those. Remember, you have your triggers and bad days, too (just as I do). But if they get upset about everything then I just avoid them period. Some people are going to complain, whine, or gripe no matter what, that is they just hate their life and anything they're going on about is just the latest excuse to do so, like if they complain what life is like living with parents then they'll just as quickly complain of living alone or with roomies just as quickly, because it's not the circumstances it's the person who just needs a reason to vent out of a general dissatisfaction with life. And then there are the "martyrs" who always find fault in how you treat them (even if you somehow live up to an unreasonable demand they'll find a way to turn even that around so they're still the martyr), typically to control others via guilt though I think some are actual psychic vampires (not necessarily conscious of what they're doing). Avoid! IP: Logged |
aquaguy91 Moderator Posts: 8275 From: tennessee Registered: Jan 2012
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posted January 14, 2014 07:18 AM
quote: Originally posted by PixieJane: Generally speaking I give allowances for those having a bad day (or three) and also try to note triggers (it seems more people have these than not, and as for those who don't seem to have any triggers I probably just haven't discovered them yet) and avoid those. Remember, you have your triggers and bad days, too (just as I do). But if they get upset about everything then I just avoid them period. Some people are going to complain, whine, or gripe no matter what, that is they just hate their life and anything they're going on about is just the latest excuse to do so, like if they complain what life is like living with parents then they'll just as quickly complain of living alone or with roomies just as quickly, because it's not the circumstances it's the person who just needs a reason to vent out of a general dissatisfaction with life. And then there are the "martyrs" who always find fault in how you treat them (even if you somehow live up to an unreasonable demand they'll find a way to turn even that around so they're still the martyr), typically to control others via guilt though I think some are actual psychic vampires (not necessarily conscious of what they're doing). Avoid!
I'm glad you brought up the word "trigger" because that is this persons excuse for their behavior, that's the exact word they used. Problem is literally everything triggers something with them. Just saying something normal you would say everyday can send them into an emotional lockdown and an explosion when you confront them and ask them what their problem is.IP: Logged |
Ami Anne Moderator Posts: 51161 From: Pluto/house next to NickiG Registered: Sep 2010
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posted January 14, 2014 09:48 AM
You know what? I just wrote an article about how Chiron blows up relationships. I think this is what is happening with these kinds of things that make no sense.I can post it in the Brown Owl later. ------------------ Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course. http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
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StarlightSmileSupreme Knowflake Posts: 6742 From: neptune Registered: Nov 2012
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posted January 14, 2014 02:47 PM
quote: Originally posted by aquaguy91: Maybe it's because I'm a double Aquarius but I just can't deal with these people. I'm talking about the type of person who gets offended and upset over everything. They also tend to completely shut down and cannot communicate like a rational and mature adult when they get upset , they prefer to pout and not confront people and clear up misunderstandings. How do hypersensitive people even function in the real world? How can a normal person be around them without them having a meltdown? It's like walking on eggshells just being around them.
When they pout, Aquaguy, simple solution. Just give them their space and let them get over it on their own. Later, they might snap out of the mood. If they don't, why concern yourself? It's not your problem, it's theirs. It's best not to hold a grudge. Just accept everyone's different. If everyone were the same, life would be boring beyond belief!IP: Logged |
PixieJane Moderator Posts: 3591 From: CA Registered: Oct 2010
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posted January 14, 2014 04:05 PM
quote: Originally posted by aquaguy91: I'm glad you brought up the word "trigger" because that is this persons excuse for their behavior, that's the exact word they used. Problem is literally everything triggers something with them. Just saying something normal you would say everyday can send them into an emotional lockdown and an explosion when you confront them and ask them what their problem is.
I don't know why anyone hangs around them then, at least going by how you're describing it and assuming we think "saying something normal" in about the same way. I'd hazard that it's a variant of the martyrs who act so disabled to get others to do everything for them, including their job, because they're too weak or sick and therefore you're OBLIGATED to do it for them (one was so bad she tried to force me to find google images of an actor she liked for her when her disability was in her legs!). Alternately it may be a way to get some attention, some people don't care how they get it just so long as they get it (as evident by plenty of so-called "reality shows").
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aquaguy91 Moderator Posts: 8275 From: tennessee Registered: Jan 2012
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posted January 14, 2014 05:57 PM
quote: Originally posted by StarlightSmileSupreme: [QUOTE]Originally posted by aquaguy91: [b]Maybe it's because I'm a double Aquarius but I just can't deal with these people. I'm talking about the type of person who gets offended and upset over everything. They also tend to completely shut down and cannot communicate like a rational and mature adult when they get upset , they prefer to pout and not confront people and clear up misunderstandings. How do hypersensitive people even function in the real world? How can a normal person be around them without them having a meltdown? It's like walking on eggshells just being around them.
When they pout, Aquaguy, simple solution. Just give them their space and let them get over it on their own. Later, they might snap out of the mood. If they don't, why concern yourself? It's not your problem, it's theirs. It's best not to hold a grudge. Just accept everyone's different. If everyone were the same, life would be boring beyond belief![/B][/QUOTE] Well, I know that. You can't really reason with an unreasonable person. I'm more curious about how such people function in the real world because there's always going to be misunderstandings and disagreements.how can they ever maintain relationships or friendships when they alienate themselves from people by acting like a nutcase.
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Faith Moderator Posts: 6573 From: Registered: Jul 2011
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posted January 14, 2014 07:01 PM
If you think someone is a nutcase, avoid them. Easy peasy!It doesn't matter why they are a nutcase, whether it's their sensitivity or alcoholism or natal grand cross or whatever...if they are nuts, just dissociate. Their problem isn't yours to fix, especially when you bring your own strongly negative reaction to the table. Maybe someone else with more patience can help them heal it.
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T Knowflake Posts: 10300 From: Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 14, 2014 07:17 PM
I grew up having to walk on eggshells around an emotionally abusive and extremely touchy, moody parent. The moods could change on a dime and i felt like i always had to be on guard or walk on tippy-toes. Knowing what i know now, i realize it gave me PTSD at an early age, which got worse after later more traumatiizing events in my life.I still have a hair-trigger startle reflex and am more jumpy than the average person especially around loud noises and certain tones of voices. They leave me shaken and on edge for awhile afterwards. My nerves are shot. There comes a point where you have to completely cut these people out of your own life,, or else you will never heal. IP: Logged |
T Knowflake Posts: 10300 From: Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 14, 2014 07:22 PM
also, as the saying goesyou will keep meeting the same types of people over and over again until they don't have anytihng to teach you anymore meaning, youve learned the lesson you needed to and healed. only then will different, more healthy people start to come in. IP: Logged |
Faith Moderator Posts: 6573 From: Registered: Jul 2011
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posted January 14, 2014 07:30 PM
Right, T. And sorry you had to go through that IP: Logged |
T Knowflake Posts: 10300 From: Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 14, 2014 07:46 PM
Faith IP: Logged |
PixieJane Moderator Posts: 3591 From: CA Registered: Oct 2010
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posted January 14, 2014 08:45 PM
quote: Originally posted by aquaguy91: I'm more curious about how such people function in the real world because there's always going to be misunderstandings and disagreements.how can they ever maintain relationships or friendships when they alienate themselves from people by acting like a nutcase.
Not all can. As for those who do they choose their targets carefully and often practice some gaslighting. It's similar to like how the vast majority of violent psychotics might attack someone small or a woman but somehow maintains self-control when around some burly biker or gangster. That is, if the person has the power to significantly hurt them then they're not that way to that person. IP: Logged |