posted January 21, 2014 08:28 AM            

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This girl is on FIRE

LOVE, because what else is worth living for, and dying for?!

posted January 21, 2014 10:59 AM            

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posted January 21, 2014 06:05 PM            

That said, people who are truly skilled don't brag, their egos don't require it (and others may do the bragging for them). 'Course teen boys love to brag about having skills they don't (be it sex, martial arts, or whatever).

posted January 21, 2014 07:26 PM            

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posted January 21, 2014 07:41 PM            

I find it completely idiotic to act like sex is a complex skill or some sort of "fascinating" thing that is just oh sooooo interesting

I would say this is because as a society we have too many religious and social taboos and many people are too far removed from their animal instincts.
I'm glad to be an Aries LOL At least this is one problem I don't have.

posted January 21, 2014 10:18 PM            

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
^ i don't get it.. All the mental masturbation ruins the moment.. I remember one of my old girlfriends made me so insecure before I kissed her because she acted as if kissing was this complex skill. She seriously grilled me about my kissing skills and I felt tons of anxiety because of it but when I kissed her she went into that trancelike state that all girls go into when you kiss them like all the others I have kissed. And I don't claim to have "skills" I just go with the flow. IMO it makes it so much more fun if you don't have all that anxiety and worry about your performance.

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The women you're surrounded by are space aliens. They can be found elsewhere but they're not anywhere as close to normal as they apparently are in your neck of the woods.

Generally speaking women tend to confuse sex & love--more so than men, actually. It's typically not about skill but about how you make her feel (conversely other women will "love" anyone who can give them the most powerful O's). It's amazing (and scandalous) to me how many women are ignorant of their own bodies (and I've heard how mothers are more comfortable explaining male anatomy to their children than female anatomy) and not surprising that so many sexually active women have rarely to never experienced the Big O (and worse, I've heard a few who THOUGHT they had until they had for real).

posted January 21, 2014 10:35 PM            

Let it play about 3 and a half minutes to just pass 59:00 (to after she redefines him after the breakup and hating herself for letting him "fool" her).

posted January 21, 2014 10:54 PM            

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
The women you're surrounded by are space aliens. They can be found elsewhere but they're not anywhere as close to normal as they apparently are in your neck of the woods.

Generally speaking women tend to confuse sex & love--more so than men, actually. It's typically not about skill but about how you make her feel (conversely other women will "love" anyone who can give them the most powerful O's). It's amazing (and scandalous) to me how many women are ignorant of their own bodies (and I've heard how mothers are more comfortable explaining male anatomy to their children than female anatomy) and not surprising that so many sexually active women have rarely to never experienced the Big O (and worse, I've heard a few who THOUGHT they had until they had for real).

I'd think magazines like Cosmo could help fix that but sadly for all their relentless obsession with sex and promising to make it better the most of it (at least that I saw) was based on polls on what attracted guys (for example, favorite sex position and then basic instruction on said position without explaining how to make it wonderful for both), interesting enough I've seen a lot more men's magazines with good advice (usually written by a candid, experienced woman, though too bad many men don't pay attention), perhaps because men are typically able to separate love from sex better whereas too many women are under the delusion that romantic love = good sex, just like in all those romances they were raised on, the happiness will come (no pun intended ) naturally. I think even yourself have complained that women unreasonably expect men to know what it is they want when they want it without ever actually saying, and on that much I agree as it's based on that illusion they have of love, fantasies that come from not only Disney but just absorbed growing up (I'm reminded of this, explaining as how a little girl she'd have a "king of romance" but it was all based on romance rather than skill, that is he was awesome and therefore kissing him would be awesome).

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posted January 21, 2014 11:35 PM            

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Originally posted by Odette:
I totally get you here AG.

I find it completely idiotic to act like sex is a complex skill or some sort of "fascinating" thing that is just oh sooooo interesting

I would say this is because as a society we have too many religious and social taboos and many people are too far removed from their animal instincts.
I'm glad to be an Aries LOL At least this is one problem I don't have.

Also - some people are just bored and not really making use of their homo sapien IQ... so they end up engaging in "odd" stuffed up behaviour to keep themselves entertained in life.. e.g. sexual power plays.
I really feel like the whole 'making sex extra complicated for oneself' - is something only a bored person could do.

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I suspect it is very much the other, thin veneer of civilization overlaying animals pretending to be what we are not when it comes to sex.

I find it all very funny tbh, 6 billion people on the planet, 3 billion sex acts, and yet there is the huge body of "how to" literature..

posted January 22, 2014 03:31 AM            

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Originally posted by Padre35:
6 billion people on the planet, 3 billion sex acts, and yet there is the huge body of "how to" literature

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Some of those are worth reading, too.

'Course you're probably thinking of procreation rather than pleasure, and probably assuming pleasure is as "automatic" to women as it is men (it's not, but I can't explain the anatomy and why it matters without Randall locking the thread).

posted January 22, 2014 06:16 AM            

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
Some of those are worth reading, too.

'Course you're probably thinking of procreation rather than pleasure, and probably assuming pleasure is as "automatic" to women as it is men (it's not, but I can't explain the anatomy and why it matters without Randall locking the thread).

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The two are not mutually exclusive, I'd say one is supposed to lead to the other.

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But I do recall reading of a South American country (Chile?) where the government was putting out pamphlets on how to conceive children because "too many were doing it wrong." A writer for Reason magazine asked the good question "are you sure we want people like that breeding anyway?" Though I'm betting it was that the country was devoutly Catholic and birth control difficult (or at least inconvenient) to come by so that the people came up with alternative ways to minimize or eliminate the chance for pregnancy but couldn't admit it because that's not what "good Catholics do." That is, they weren't doing it wrong, they were doing it in a way that appealed to them without the consequences the state and church wanted to come of it for their respective reasons and only pretended they "didn't know how."

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Which usually boils down to resources and investment into raising children from such consumations.

The fact pregancies were declining does not mean less sex was happening.

Thus Sylevester and Tweetie.

None of which deals with AG's OP, which is basically ego attached to a fundamental function of life. No different than eating in the meta sense if not the individual sense

A celibate would not care either way, a Cad would really care..tho always found it odd when a guy we telling other guys about their penis size..uhm..why would a man care to hear about it?

posted January 24, 2014 05:25 PM            

If they are helpful to others - that's great and they should use them, but I am too instinctual to want a manual and I am not particularly interested in being with someone who reads manuals either.

It's important to know your own body - to know your likes and dislikes and be able to communicate with your sexual partners, and obviously - having partners who *listen* and oblige. That's the main thing in enjoying sex.

It reminds me of going to the hairdresser. I have friends who like to get ideas/advice on their hairstyle from the hairdresser... I never ask them for ideas because I know exactly what I want done with my hair.

posted January 24, 2014 05:28 PM            

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you're probably thinking of procreation rather than pleasure, and probably assuming pleasure is as "automatic" to women as it is men

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Well.... No.... He isn't necessarily assuming that ... because you can give someone all the pleasure in the world by listening to what she wants and being open.. and experimenting together - as opposed to reading "how to" literature.

And if you really feel like you *must* read how to stuff - and you find it interesting - it is still best that you read it together or talk about it - not simply - up and decide to test what you individually read one night with your unsuspecting partner... LOL...... "Surprise!!! Cosmo said you'd love this!" O_O
I don't like surprises personally (Cap Mars).

http://inoveryourhead.net/do-you-read-the-manual/

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When it comes to computers, there are two kinds of people in the world: Those that try, and those that read the manual.

If you experiment, that means that when you’re in a new program, trying to save a document or something, you click around: “Let’s see, how about ‘Edit’? Nope… maybe ‘File’? Ah, there it is! Save.” Then you save the document. See, it took a while, but you figured it out.

If you read the manual, it’s the opposite. You don’t know how to do something and you kind of freeze, call somebody for tech support, or you might reach for the manual.

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posted January 24, 2014 07:36 PM            

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Originally posted by Odette:
if you really feel like you *must* read how to stuff - and you find it interesting - it is still best that you read it together or talk about it - not simply - up and decide to test what you individually read one night with your unsuspecting partner... LOL...... "Surprise!!! Cosmo said you'd love this!"

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But the comedic value!

I wish I'd thought to try that back when I was still having sex with men...it would've been good payback for a couple, especially one who wanted to play a game of "whatever is done in this porn we do" (when I had no doubt he already knew what was in it rather than it being a "game" for him).