posted March 18, 2014 02:44 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Kerosene:
in a lot of ways manipulating and parenting go hand in hand.

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posted March 18, 2014 11:07 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Kerosene:
Since we study astrology.

Do you think it is smart to raise a child based on their personality, because in a lot of ways manipulating and parenting go hand in hand.
Like a materialistic child would have a positive response to rewards like toys or an allowance..

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Hmm...Yes to the first part, although I don't think that we necessarily have to be manipulative as parents. I prefer the term "coaxing", haha.

But yes, I try to raise my son based on his personality. I would never want to encourage him to be materialistic, but then again I would want him to understand the concept of earning his own way in the world.

You do your chores every week, and at the end of the week you get paid for it. Just like a job. You don't do your chores, you don't get paid.
But that's not something we'll have to worry about for a while with our son, he's too young for all that of course.

With his Cancer Asc (squared by Saturn), he can be super shy around other kids, or if he knows how to do something (spell a word, for instance) he will stubbornly refuse to do it in front of anyone if we ask (Taurus Sun). It's like he feels put on the spot or something, so I don't hassle him about things like that.

I do instill values in him that I find important personally, like insisting that he share with other kids.
But then again, I've seen other kids at the playground come up and try to take toys from him, and he doesn't really know what to do about that...so I tell him that he can tell them to stop it if he wants to, and that's okay.

I wish he would stand up for himself more with other kids, but it doesn't seem to be in his nature too much, so I don't push that either. He'll figure it out, or he'll just be one of those super quiet kids who minds his own business.

But anyway, yes. I think it's important to raise kids based on their personality, not just the way that we think things should be done. A healthy combination of both is good, imo.

I know that he's super sensitive, so I'm always super encouraging when he's trying something new. But he's also very perceptive, and he will sometimes give us a suspicious look that says "don't patronize me", haha. So at other times I just let him do his thing, if he doesn't want our help.

He likes to figure things out for himself, and he gets really annoyed if we try to show him how to do new things. So I just wait until he indicates that he *wants* me to help him, and then I do.