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Author
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Topic: Would you find this comment generally alarming?
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charlie
Knowflake Posts: 1637
From: los angeles, ca, USA
Registered: Jun 2012
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posted March 24, 2014 11:58 AM
  
When a married man says that he LIKES his wife, exact quote. As in "my wife makes me sad but I like her and therefore it's a problem". This is in ref to a convo about alcohol consumption and its effects. Wife is the one with the problem. The word "like" stuck out to me because I would personally hope my husband loved me....but this might be my anal and analytical Virgo reacting.. IP: Logged |
I'm so cappy
Knowflake Posts: 5117
From: Saturn (summer house on Chiron)
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted March 24, 2014 12:31 PM
Yes. If I heard my husband say "he likes me" I'd probably start suspecting he doesn't love me.------------------
I'm sooo happy! I mean, cappy. IP: Logged |
Sibyl
Knowflake Posts: 374
From: Uranus
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted March 24, 2014 02:25 PM
Tbh I think the alcohol is the issue here.I wouldn't get too stuck on the "like" part of it. Can you really expect him to say he loves her when she is hurting him so? If addiction was out of the picture I'm sure he would have chosen a different word. I think you guys are too idealistic. Love isn't supposed to be unconditional. If it is, it is unhealthy. IP: Logged |
CatMote
Knowflake Posts: 671
From: Fighting Neptune for his trident
Registered: Apr 2013
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posted March 24, 2014 02:39 PM
i dont see the big deal haha. ------------------
"Perhaps there are new plateaus to reach, even greater heights to which I must ascend." IP: Logged |
I'm so cappy
Knowflake Posts: 5117
From: Saturn (summer house on Chiron)
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted March 24, 2014 02:41 PM
Huh? No, I don't suscribe to unconditional love. Anyway, even if someone I loved hurt me I would still use the word "love". Unless I didn't love any longer. But in that case I'd leave. Same if he screwed up too much. How unconditional is that?  ------------------
I'm sooo happy! I mean, cappy. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 53500
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted March 24, 2014 03:27 PM
quote:
Originally posted by CatMote:
i dont see the big deal haha.
I am with CM on this, C. What is the back story? Are you interested in this guy? ------------------
Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
IP: Logged |
DeepFreeze
Knowflake Posts: 1285
From: Pluto with Barbiegirl19
Registered: Nov 2013
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posted March 24, 2014 03:36 PM
Call it what it is...
Love = love
Like = likeThey are not the same and it doesn't come and go.
You can like someone and love them but love is greater and if you love them then why not just say so instead of choosing to say the lesser of the two. It doesn't make sense to me.
Particularly in reference to such a big problem.
It depends on some things but I think "like" in this situation is a bit suspicious. IP: Logged |
dadoo
Knowflake Posts: 308
From: Mercury
Registered: Nov 2013
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posted March 24, 2014 03:43 PM
Well, I'd say it depends if it's alcohol that turned the 'love' into a 'like',
or if it's the 'love' turned into a 'like' that triggered the abuse...IP: Logged |
I'm so cappy
Knowflake Posts: 5117
From: Saturn (summer house on Chiron)
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted March 24, 2014 03:43 PM
quote:
Originally posted by DeepFreeze:
Call it what it is...
Love = love
Like = likeThey are not the same and it doesn't come and go.
You can like someone and love them but love is greater and if you love them then why not just say so instead of choosing to say the lesser of the two. It doesn't make sense to me.
Particularly in reference to such a big problem.
It depends on some things but I think "like" in this situation is a bit suspicious.
 quote:
or if it's the 'love' turned into a 'like' that triggered the abuse...
That would be really stupid of her.
------------------
I'm sooo happy! I mean, cappy.IP: Logged |
charlie
Knowflake Posts: 1637
From: los angeles, ca, USA
Registered: Jun 2012
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posted March 24, 2014 03:49 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Ami Anne:
I am with CM on this, C. What is the back story? Are you interested in this guy?
He is my best friend and the brother I never "got to know".. (my mom gave my own brother away) so I like him but not like that  He is in some "hole" at the moment and pretty mum about most things. Wonīt talk much. I am a little bit worried because he has displayed worrisome...tendencies before.
IP: Logged |
Ceridwen
Knowflake Posts: 11493
From:
Registered: Jul 2011
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posted March 24, 2014 04:18 PM
You have to be able to like the one you`re in love with to be able to live with them for a certain amount of time. IP: Logged |
MsPrism
Knowflake Posts: 1256
From:
Registered: Jun 2013
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posted March 24, 2014 05:49 PM
Double thumbs up for Ceri's post! IP: Logged |
DeepFreeze
Knowflake Posts: 1285
From: Pluto with Barbiegirl19
Registered: Nov 2013
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posted March 24, 2014 06:02 PM
Nevermind
I'm just repeating myself. LOL IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways
Knowflake Posts: 6844
From:
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted March 24, 2014 08:07 PM
Smells like trouble, and to high heaven.That'll be something I'll say about a buddy with a drinking problem. His wife's problem, by default, ipso facto, is his problem. He doesn't seem like he's doing sh1t to remedy the problem. IP: Logged |
Kerosene
Knowflake Posts: 9647
From: Mercury
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted March 24, 2014 10:16 PM
Sometimes we don't like the person we love because sometimes we hurt each other but that does not change the fact we're still in love and have no control over those feelings.So yes they are two separate feelings
Just because I am extremely does mad does not mean I will tell them I do not love them anymore.
Sorry I just don't like you right now and you should stay away from me. IP: Logged |
charlie
Knowflake Posts: 1637
From: los angeles, ca, USA
Registered: Jun 2012
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posted March 25, 2014 10:07 AM
quote:
Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
Smells like trouble, and to high heaven.That'll be something I'll say about a buddy with a drinking problem. His wife's problem, by default, ipso facto, is his problem. He doesn't seem like he's doing sh1t to remedy the problem.
He doesn't do **** . You are correct. Sadly, ALL his **** has become my **** because I am the only one he tells anything to, when he talks. If you read my other post about "sexual obsession" in Astro 2, it might paint a clearer picture since itīs the very same guy 
We are like siamese twins and his issues pain me and I feel as if I wonīt be free until he is free; literally and mentally, then we can go our separate ways and be "cosmic siblings" instead. IP: Logged |
I'm so cappy
Knowflake Posts: 5117
From: Saturn (summer house on Chiron)
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted March 25, 2014 10:26 AM
quote:
Originally posted by charlie:
He doesn't do **** . You are correct. Sadly, ALL his **** has become my **** because I am the only one he tells anything to, when he talks. If you read my other post about "sexual obsession" in Astro 2, it might paint a clearer picture since itīs the very same guy
I wondered if it's the same person by any chance...I don't understand why his wife is still with him. Desensitizing oneself with alcohol for the rest of the life is a poor solution, to put it mildly. Don't you think they should get divorced? That's what I'd advise them if I were you. Poor woman. Looks like her self-respect is gone. ------------------
I'm sooo happy! I mean, cappy. IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways
Knowflake Posts: 6844
From:
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted March 25, 2014 10:37 AM
quote:
Originally posted by charlie:
He doesn't do **** . You are correct. Sadly, ALL his **** has become my **** because I am the only one he tells anything to, when he talks. If you read my other post about "sexual obsession" in Astro 2, it might paint a clearer picture since itīs the very same guy .
Sounds like he has his own sh1t to deal with. People who live in glass houses ought not to throw stones or fire bullets. He has his porn star living fantasy where he can bed anything with a heartbeat. Sure, most guys had that problem as teens, but we mostly grow out of it by the time we start high school. It sounds to me that he won't be talking this sh1t if his wife were putting out to his satisfaction. The point being is that his wife can be stoned drunk on vodka and as long as she's putting on this porno style loving , he probably won't complain a peep. Sounds like she's perfectly happy with the bottle. And he's pis$ed off that he has to rely on Mary Palm and her five sisters to meet his needs. Or is he getting some on the side ? You just wonder why she has to resort to the bottle, with a guy like that for a husband .... Just my observation.
IP: Logged |
libraschoice77
Knowflake Posts: 1531
From: past, present, and future
Registered: Aug 2010
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posted March 25, 2014 11:41 AM
quote:
Originally posted by charlie:
When a married man says that he LIKES his wife, exact quote. As in "my wife makes me sad but I like her and therefore it's a problem". This is in ref to a convo about alcohol consumption and its effects. Wife is the one with the problem. The word "like" stuck out to me because I would personally hope my husband loved me....but this might be my anal and analytical Virgo reacting..
I think I would be upset if my husband used the word 'like' to describe his feelings for me which in my eyes is such a mild term compared to the word 'love' which is much more deep and meaningful. An used for someone you do have a strong romantic bond with...if a man uses the word like with a woman he's married to then he doesn't need to be married to THAT woman does he? As far as alcohol goes that could be another story as to how it effects their overall relationship.
IP: Logged |
libraschoice77
Knowflake Posts: 1531
From: past, present, and future
Registered: Aug 2010
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posted March 25, 2014 11:51 AM
Just read the other thread in Astro 2, surprised they are still married, seems like a domino effect of problems between them...yikes.IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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