posted April 07, 2014 02:44 AM            

I live in a constant flux of worry! Not only am I emphatic but I wake up in the middle of nights thinking I am going to have a heart attack when it in fact it's just me "feeling" that something is up somewhere and 9.5/10 I am right.

posted April 07, 2014 04:23 AM            

The most important thing to keep in mind, is it is not your responsibility. This person has to look out for and look after themselves.

Secondly, you should try not to provide as much of an emotional crutch as you are, I know it is difficult, but it is draining, as you are finding our and going through now. It is having such a massive impact on your life.

Probably the best thing you can do, is to gauge just how serious this issue is. If you genuinely believe they will harm themselves, I would suggest you make a decision about seeking professional help and support for them. This could be any kind of grief or such counselling, could be the Samaritans. Here in the UK, some suicidal people call the Ambulance crews, and they talk them down from it.

You should try to help them realise that they need help and get them to seek it on their own. Or you should get help for them if you don't think they will.

Either way this is eating you up inside and consuming your life. Which is not fair to you.

I wish you both all the best.

posted April 07, 2014 05:07 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Swift Freeze:
It's tough.

The most important thing to keep in mind, is it is not your responsibility. This person has to look out for and look after themselves.

Secondly, you should try not to provide as much of an emotional crutch as you are, I know it is difficult, but it is draining, as you are finding our and going through now. It is having such a massive impact on your life.

Probably the best thing you can do, is to gauge just how serious this issue is. If you genuinely believe they will harm themselves, I would suggest you make a decision about seeking professional help and support for them. This could be any kind of grief or such counselling, could be the Samaritans. Here in the UK, some suicidal people call the Ambulance crews, and they talk them down from it.

You should try to help them realise that they need help and get them to seek it on their own. Or you should get help for them if you don't think they will.

Either way this is eating you up inside and consuming your life. Which is not fair to you.

I wish you both all the best.

---

And as I am reading this worried sick, he reappears and pretends as if all is ok :-/

posted April 07, 2014 11:01 AM            

In the end I just told them to get over themselves.

And they did.

Sadly, sometimes people will stoop to any level to get attention. I don't think a pity party is always the best solution. It doesn't always help (though sometimes, and for a limited time, sure). Occasionally what the person needs instead is a good old fashioned whack in the head.

In the end Charlie I think you have to look after yourself first. That's your number one job. He is not your responsibility, although I understand you care for him deeply. But if he is leeching off your energy you need to tell him. Chance is he is not even as bad as he pretends to be, but is using "suicide" as a threat against you to get his way.

I think the people you need to worry about the most are not the most vocal ones. At least, that's my experience, after having two people using the suicide card as a form of manipulation against me. It's usually a form of making you stay in their lives (and stay engaged in their lives). It gives them power over you because they can call on you at any time, demand anything, and expect that you will cave.