posted April 07, 2014 02:22 PM            

I can see what in my mother's chart made her into a Mal Narc, in many ways.

This is my question. Is it hard to see yourself as a separate person with your own identity?

Do you feel like you are just an amorphous part of the person?

Do you feel you don't even deserve to have an identity, goals, needs and wants?

I will think of some more things, later.

Thanks for any replies!

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posted April 07, 2014 03:49 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
I reconciled with my parents. My mother is a Malignant Narcissist. My father won't stand up, as often( or always) happens with the Mal narc.

I can see what in my mother's chart made her into a Mal Narc, in many ways.

This is my question. Is it hard to see yourself as a separate person with your own identity?

Do you feel like you are just an amorphous part of the person?

Do you feel you don't even deserve to have an identity, goals, needs and wants?

I will think of some more things, later.

Thanks for any replies!

---

Hmmmm good question, interesting thread. (Looks up the definition of Malignant Narcissist. )

My father was a little narcissistic, I think.

I felt I was ignored slightly, yes. My dad was distant both emotionally and physically to me, I think he had a whole secret world that no-one was even aware of. He gambled, drank, was adulterous on at least one occasion (the cause of my parent's breakup). This probably paints a negative portrait of him because he held down a good job since he was 14 and obviously we didn't go wanting, and would always be there in "emergencies". But... he just wasn't encouraging really, if he was proud of us I never heard about it and only was told that by his girlfriend shortly before he died. He came to a big concert I was performing at in London and my good (very perceptive) friend observed afterwards when she asked him "so what did you think of J's performance?" and he replied coolly "she was alright" that she thought he was jealous of me.

Anyway... he wasn't a malignant narcissist, but he did have a little narcissism about him.

posted April 07, 2014 03:50 PM            

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posted April 07, 2014 03:54 PM            

I don't really want to talk about me though... that would be narcissistic wouldn't it?

How did you reconcile with your parents btw, and why?

posted April 07, 2014 04:10 PM            

Wow.

posted April 07, 2014 04:11 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Jo B:
I play everything from jazz to rock, pop, soul, funk & blues Ami Anne. Even classical on the odd occasion. I play saxophone.

I don't really want to talk about me though... that would be narcissistic wouldn't it?

How did you reconcile with your parents btw, and why?

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No, talking about what you have accomplished is humility. I am so impressed, Jo

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posted April 07, 2014 04:16 PM            

I will be honest. My son is my prayer partner. He knows what I have been through with them and told me that I would be self destructive if I called them or had anything to do with them.

It was very hard but he kept encouraging me to stay away.

My father broke his hip. I had my son call because I cared but I did not want to call.

One day, my father said how much my mother loved me and it touched my son's heart and he told me he thought it was time to call, so I did.

My son got a sense from God that I should salvage what I could with my mother.

My father and I have an easy relationship. I have a great Sun with all good aspects and I can feel that with him.

My Moon is harder and I can feel that with my mother.

I have the asteroid Nemesis conj the Moon which shows a mother who will be an enemy and that is what I had.

However, I really want to be free, inside, and this has been a big step.

Now, I talked all about myself. Have I been Narcissitic

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posted April 07, 2014 04:35 PM            

I haven't studied either of my parents' charts. I am close to my mother emotionally (she's Cancer sun, I'm Virgo) but we can't really live with eachother. We're like two stubborn individuals doing things their own way and ultimately clashing and she can be a bit critical! It's stressful!

posted April 07, 2014 04:47 PM            

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posted April 07, 2014 04:55 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
If you do your chart with your parents, you will see all, as the charts show all imo

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I don't know why but I've always been wary of doing charts of family members, probably because I know they don't believe in or particularly care for astrology. And to be honest I don't really want to know. Just dealing with them on a daily basis is all I need to know about our relationship! lol

I remember I borrowed a book from a friend called "Care of the Soul" which I found immensely helpful as it talked about how you are NOT a product of your parents, and are your own "star" as it were. My mother saw that book and asked me why I was reading stuff like that. I just thought: "why not?". It's like she is scared of delving deeper into spiritual matters (maybe for fear of what she might find, she does have a tendency to bury her head in the sand. The cancer crab perhaps? )