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Author Topic:   Anyone Raised by a Narcissitic Parent?
Ami Anne
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Posts: 53684
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted April 07, 2014 02:22 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I reconciled with my parents. My mother is a Malignant Narcissist. My father won't stand up, as often( or always) happens with the Mal narc.

I can see what in my mother's chart made her into a Mal Narc, in many ways.

This is my question. Is it hard to see yourself as a separate person with your own identity?

Do you feel like you are just an amorphous part of the person?

Do you feel you don't even deserve to have an identity, goals, needs and wants?

I will think of some more things, later.

Thanks for any replies!

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Jo B
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Posts: 369
From: London, UK
Registered: Feb 2014

posted April 07, 2014 03:49 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Jo B     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Ami Anne:
I reconciled with my parents. My mother is a Malignant Narcissist. My father won't stand up, as often( or always) happens with the Mal narc.

I can see what in my mother's chart made her into a Mal Narc, in many ways.

This is my question. Is it hard to see yourself as a separate person with your own identity?

Do you feel like you are just an amorphous part of the person?

Do you feel you don't even deserve to have an identity, goals, needs and wants?

I will think of some more things, later.

Thanks for any replies!


Hmmmm good question, interesting thread. (Looks up the definition of Malignant Narcissist. )

My father was a little narcissistic, I think.

I felt I was ignored slightly, yes. My dad was distant both emotionally and physically to me, I think he had a whole secret world that no-one was even aware of. He gambled, drank, was adulterous on at least one occasion (the cause of my parent's breakup). This probably paints a negative portrait of him because he held down a good job since he was 14 and obviously we didn't go wanting, and would always be there in "emergencies". But... he just wasn't encouraging really, if he was proud of us I never heard about it and only was told that by his girlfriend shortly before he died. He came to a big concert I was performing at in London and my good (very perceptive) friend observed afterwards when she asked him "so what did you think of J's performance?" and he replied coolly "she was alright" that she thought he was jealous of me.

Anyway... he wasn't a malignant narcissist, but he did have a little narcissism about him.

My sister has married someone a lot like him. I see it in him, I'm not sure SHE does. I can spot a narcissist a mile off.

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Ami Anne
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Posts: 53684
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted April 07, 2014 03:50 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Wow--tell me about what you play, if you can? I love music, Jo

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Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.


http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/

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Jo B
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Posts: 369
From: London, UK
Registered: Feb 2014

posted April 07, 2014 03:54 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Jo B     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I play everything from jazz to rock, pop, soul, funk & blues Ami Anne. Even classical on the odd occasion. I play saxophone.

I don't really want to talk about me though... that would be narcissistic wouldn't it?

How did you reconcile with your parents btw, and why?

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Jo B
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Posts: 369
From: London, UK
Registered: Feb 2014

posted April 07, 2014 04:10 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Jo B     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I just looked up the definition of Malignant Narcissism on wiki.

Wow.

My father certainly wasn't that. My mother is a wonderful person, very kind and caring. HER father, however, she would probably describe as a malignant narcissist. I sometimes ask her about him because I never met him (she got away from him as soon as she could, married my father and never saw him again) but she always describes him as "evil" and from the things she says about him I think he definitely fitted that category. Sad really. Also amazing how people can break away from their parent's influences and morality to develop into truly caring people themselves.

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Ami Anne
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Posts: 53684
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted April 07, 2014 04:11 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Jo B:
I play everything from jazz to rock, pop, soul, funk & blues Ami Anne. Even classical on the odd occasion. I play saxophone.

I don't really want to talk about me though... that would be narcissistic wouldn't it?

How did you reconcile with your parents btw, and why?


No, talking about what you have accomplished is humility. I am so impressed, Jo

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Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.


http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/

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Ami Anne
Moderator

Posts: 53684
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted April 07, 2014 04:16 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
How did I reconcile?

I will be honest. My son is my prayer partner. He knows what I have been through with them and told me that I would be self destructive if I called them or had anything to do with them.

It was very hard but he kept encouraging me to stay away.

My father broke his hip. I had my son call because I cared but I did not want to call.

One day, my father said how much my mother loved me and it touched my son's heart and he told me he thought it was time to call, so I did.


My son got a sense from God that I should salvage what I could with my mother.

My father and I have an easy relationship. I have a great Sun with all good aspects and I can feel that with him.

My Moon is harder and I can feel that with my mother.

I have the asteroid Nemesis conj the Moon which shows a mother who will be an enemy and that is what I had.

However, I really want to be free, inside, and this has been a big step.

Now, I talked all about myself. Have I been Narcissitic

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Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.


http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/

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Jo B
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Posts: 369
From: London, UK
Registered: Feb 2014

posted April 07, 2014 04:35 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Jo B     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Not at all, that was really interesting.

I haven't studied either of my parents' charts. I am close to my mother emotionally (she's Cancer sun, I'm Virgo) but we can't really live with eachother. We're like two stubborn individuals doing things their own way and ultimately clashing and she can be a bit critical! It's stressful!

Weirdly, although I wasn't as emotionally close to my father (Leo sun), the brief period when I lived at his house while I was trying to save money on accommodation at college (my parents had separated by that stage), was actually pretty cool. I didn't expect that. I felt chilled and actually liked the protective male vibe he gave.

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Ami Anne
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Posts: 53684
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted April 07, 2014 04:47 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
If you do your chart with your parents, you will see all, as the charts show all imo

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Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.


http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/

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Jo B
Knowflake

Posts: 369
From: London, UK
Registered: Feb 2014

posted April 07, 2014 04:55 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Jo B     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Ami Anne:
If you do your chart with your parents, you will see all, as the charts show all imo


I don't know why but I've always been wary of doing charts of family members, probably because I know they don't believe in or particularly care for astrology. And to be honest I don't really want to know. Just dealing with them on a daily basis is all I need to know about our relationship! lol

I remember I borrowed a book from a friend called "Care of the Soul" which I found immensely helpful as it talked about how you are NOT a product of your parents, and are your own "star" as it were. My mother saw that book and asked me why I was reading stuff like that. I just thought: "why not?". It's like she is scared of delving deeper into spiritual matters (maybe for fear of what she might find, she does have a tendency to bury her head in the sand. The cancer crab perhaps? )

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